Monday, December 17, 2018

Johnny Cash Christmas II

 Oh man, Johnny Cash does it again.  His Christmas music KILLS me.  Every time I hear a song I imagine the day of recording being something like,

Everything is ready--musicians, backup vocalists. It's all set up. Producers (or whoever) nervously wait to see if Johnny shows up, knowing that each minute that passes costs them more and more cash, (ironically). 

Johnny finally does show up, staggers in a little bit tipsy but enthusiastic. Everyone sighs in relief and just as he begins to record, he pauses, turns to the people in the booth and says, "Now, remind me of the words again?"


The way he sings these songs is just so funny, this one in particular.  Sean and I heard it a few days ago and after a few seconds of it, we both just looked at each other and stared for a minute.  It was so utterly bizarre.  What I love is how he seems to hold the notes the completely wrong way. For instance, the he holds out the M, which is a really funny consonant to sing for an extended period. Like, are you humming? Maybe instead of holding the consonant, you hold the vowel? I mean I'm no expert. But he's all, 

"O commme  all ye faithful, joyful and triummmmphant."  Like with vibrato and everything.  Weird.

Then later,

"O come let us adorrrrre him." Like, why hold the R? Why can't you say "Adooooore him."  Who sings like this? Just makes me laugh.  Love that Johnny Cash Christmas.

Here's the link so you can enjoy for yourself.







Sunday, December 16, 2018

A Celebration of History

"My story began when I started my journal" I said to Sean, on this, the 25th anniversary of the inaugural entry of my journal. " My life before that is vague images, far away and almost lost to me."

"The definition of the beginning of history is when people began writing things down. Anything before that is pre-history," he said in reply. 

The word "pre-historic" means before the invention of writing.

I have mentioned this before, but I often (still) think about a question I enjoy which is, how old were you when you became who you are?  Is there an origin you can trace yourself back to? A certain birth of self?   13 was always my answer.  I have attributed this to a certain year in Junior High, doing certain things that I felt were me in the process of self-discovery. I have included starting my journal as a part of why I feel this way but I don't think it was the start because it happened to be when i began keeping a journal. The act of keeping a journal triggered the start of me, if that makes sense, which it may not.  I started writing down my life and thus it became truly mine, to keep and look back on forever.  I'd feel lost in space without it. And it begs the question: Would I be me if I never wrote it down? Does a story untold exist at all?  Also, if all this is true, that would actually make me 25 years old, and that sounds cool.


Don't worry, I'm not going to put in old journal excerpts-- buuut I AM going to include links to past blog posts with journal excerpts! But listen. I found this one and was dying at the things mentioned.  First of all:  At this very moment, Sean and Julian are downstairs waiting for me to finish so we can watch A Christmas Carol(!!)  We go to this play every year and it's the best. However, this year we missed it because opted to go to another play happening this year which was a musical of The Best Christmas Pageant Ever(!!!) Also mentioned in that blog post from four years ago(!!)  And we loved it. But see? Isn't it crazy? What's happening? I guess I'm blogging at Christmastime in all of these blog posts is what's happening. But still.   I'm loving the connection, I don't care how non-coincidental it may be. Also I'm loving those Jessie Spano vests which I was JUST talking about in Christmas Clothes.  So you see? I will forever be who I am.  And I think that's something to be celebrated. 



We're silver this year. {heart}  Happy Journalversary.


Also this one



Saturday, December 15, 2018

Cat on a Cold Ice Roof

For a big family Christmas dinner, Sean and I are bringing a Christmas roast. Two, actually. (See previous post)  It's going to be so beautiful. I have complete faith in Sean. Tonight we prepared the rub so it can sit overnight.  Julian was assigned to grind 3 tablespoons of fresh pepper which, in case you're wondering, takes infinity minutes.  He worked so hard and got so tired. I held the tablespoon out for him even though pepper was flying in every direction.    Sean finely chopped the rosemary and added the olive oil to create what smelled like the most intense pesto ever.  As I watched him slather the sauce all over the meats, Sean remarked:

"Smells like pesto. Pesto that'll burn your face off,"  which gave me a laugh.   I asked him if he wanted a spoon to scrape the last bits of rosemary rub out of the bowl.

"Nah,"  he said. "No better tool than your hands."

To which I replied, "That's... not true."  And we both simultaneously gave funny examples.  I said, "why don't you go and hammer that nail with your hands" while he said, "...stir a pot of boiling pasta..."  which made me laugh again.   

Sean said, "it takes half a second to think of a counter example when you're just plain wrong." 



As I continued to giggle through this whole thing, he went on,

"When I'd be watching The Frugal Gourmet as a tween..."   and that's when I had to pause and scribble on a post-it everything that had just transpired.  


 As a bonus funny thing, during all of this, I heard our cat mew from the outside which means he needs to come in (unnecessary explanation).  Sean opened the door and exclaimed, "well look at you! What are you doing up there? Do you want to come in or are you just showing off?"

I came over to investigate and saw this:




He stood there for a while and then we watched him do almost a vertical swan dive straight down to the ground and land perfectly on his paws.   I applauded, "well done! 10!"  And Sean said, "Just what he wanted.  'yes, I am a gifted athlete!'"

Afterwhich we shut the door and Sean continued, "Anyway, so the Frugal Gourmet always said to get your hands messy..." 

fin












Friday, December 14, 2018

Conversational Errands

Today I'm going to blog about some hodgepodge interactions I've had recently that amuse me to varying degrees. 

In no particular order:

1. I was chatting with friends about our fear of buying red meat at the grocery store because we're idiots and never know what to get and it's always different from what the recipe calls for.   Every year my family has a big Christmas dinner and this year I thought it would be fun to bring a big Christmas roast.  I often find myself scrolling through recipes I know I'll NEVER make.  But I found one and was like, "hey, Sean, wouldn't it be fun to bring a big ol' Christmas roast that people can slice as they go down the buffet table?"  He agreed and then I said, "good, because I found a recipe, so here you go."   I feel a little lame about being so lame in the kitchen but then we reminded me that I am most often the one getting the supplies at the store and it's definitely me doing my fair share because a) it's the worst and b) I don't know things.  I have no instinct so if the thing isn't exact, I'm hopeless.  This is exactly how I am with cooking actually, and why I prefer baking.  Baking tells me EXACTLY what i should do, at exactly which temperature, etc.  Cooking is like, "whatever you want!" and I just can't.

So I found the big roasts but none were exactly as the recipe said and nowhere near as large as 14 lbs.  I even weighed one in the produce scale because there was no weight to be found anywhere on the packaging and it said 5 lbs. What?  Anyway, whatever. I grabbed two and hurried out of there because I'm pretty sure weighing raw meat in the produce might be frowned upon.

Also I went to the fish guy to get some salmon and asked if he might know where the powdered mushroom packets would be.  He had no idea so he got on his walkie talkie and asked someone as I double checked my list and it said "dried porcini mushroom packet," not powder, and I had to be like, "wait, not powdered! DRIED.  What was i thinking?? I saw those over there. Nevermind! ABORT" and he had to say "nevermind" on his walkie talkie and it was super awkward and funny. (in my defense, later Sean told me the dried porcinis would be made into a powder, so i'm not completely insane. But this speaks to my complete lack of knowledge. Is mushroom powder even a thing?? I would never know. Except now I do.)

2.  Also at Harmon's (that same day), the checkout girl asked if i'd like curbside pickup. Since it was snowy and gross and because i wanted it, I said yes i would.  She went to write my name on the post-it and said, "It's Jenny, right?" (she had scanned my card so my name was visible) I paused for a split second and then said, "yup."  And for the first time in my life, I became Jenny.  And the conversation that followed-- "Thanks, Jenny! have a good day, Jenny."   then outside when the boy went to load my car:  "... are you Jenny?"  "yup" --was surreal. 


3. I'm getting pretty tired of Trader Joe's employees asking me about my big weekend/Christmas/day plans.  I used to enjoy it but now I'm too tired and guess what, i'm not doing anything, and I hardly even have my wits about me to think of an answer.  So I usually say something like, "Shopping at Trader Joe's! Doesn't get any bigger than that, amiright."  But often they press for more information, like "no seriously..." Like, they won't accept that as an answer and need details: Names, places, times, etc.  And I'm just like, "back off, man."  It makes me feel seriously interrogated and I just didn't sign up for that.  So there's a chattiness balance.  Let's find it.

4. I came home from errands just now and went to the office to ask Sean a question.  The door was locked which sometimes happens when he's on an important call and can't be interrupted.  But not so much anymore, since Julian is older and less prone to burst in loudly. Also, since the kid is at school, I can't help but wonder what Sean thinks I'm going to do-- "GUESS WHAT YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE IT BLAAHHHH!"  (that's me being noisy and disruptive as I burst in, obv).  

Actually, I could see that happening.  Well,  I texted him:
JEN: I like when the door's locked. Makes me feel like a child. {tongue sticking out emoji}

SEAN: I heard noises and got scared, so I'M the child.

JEN: hahaha! So instead of checking it out, you locked the door??

SEAN: Well no, I did check it out but there was nothing there.

JEN: Locking the door won't keep out the ghosts, Sean.

SEAN: I just feel weird having my back to the door.

De-lightful. 


And there you have it.  This blog post is a reminder to me and example that anything can be something, if you just write it down and work it a bit.   As the late, great Nora Ephron said, "Everything is copy." 

Thursday, December 13, 2018

Dishin'

Shout-out to a squirt-aged Julian.

I looked over at the random pile of drying dishes that hadn’t made it into the dishwasher (don’t ask) and saw that the clear small cup had pinned the fork in what appeared to be an epic wrestling match. That fork's going nowhere.

Also I kind of love these pics. I mean look at the composition. Look at the texture and color.  You know it’s been many days indoors and the middle of 25 days of )en when I start taking pictures of random crap around my house. But I definitely know it's not the first time.



Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Christmas Clothes

Every once in a while, Sean and I serendipitously and simultaneously find the same category of item. It's super random, nothing really comes of it, but I know it's meant to be.  Remember the keychain incident? (The pictures don't work but it's still worth mentioning.) That was crazy.

Well, over Thanksgiving, we visited an antique shop that had a lot of recent acquisitions.  We both walked toward the clothing area and simultaneously found VESTS.  Wonderful vests.  And like mirror reflections, we simultaneously put them on.  And took pictures. 


Behold!


Sooo great.  Sean left his at the shop but mine came home with me.  Handmade with 3 (6?) double-breasted buttons at the bottom. I don't really know what that means. All I know is there are 3, less ornate hidden inner buttons to ensure closure.  So good. I wear it as often as possible. I had Julian snap another pic:

Then one day we were in the mall and I spotted a hat that I made Julian wear. He agreed he thought it was cool, but now I'm not so sure.  He's worn it to school a couple times to make me happy but thinks he'll be ridiculed by the kids so hasn't worn it much after that, which is tragic.  Especially because he pulls it off so well, and everyone knows if you believe you can pull it off, everyone else will believe you.

"cool kid" pic face(?)


So funny.

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Christmas Prayers


The little bits of conversation we have these days are just jewels to me. And I seize them and tuck them away in my pocket (aka publish on my blog) because I love them so.


JULIAN: I always wake up early on Christmas morning and wait around for you for so long. This year, we should have a penny or something baked in a treat and whoever gets it gets to decide the wake up time Christmas morning.

JEN: Uhhh.. I don’t know about that. You don't wake up that much earlier than us, do you? I thought we all woke up about the same time.

JULIAN: Oh yes I do. I'm awake sooo long before you. I actually say prayers so that you’ll wake up.

Monday, December 10, 2018

Julian: Parenting Expert, Age 9

So it's nothing new that we have perhaps an unusual relationship with Julian.  Or that the three of us have an interesting dynamic.  It's always been that we have to remind him he does not have an equal part in the decision-making in our home. But that reminder's for us as well.  I remember hanging with friends and one mentioned she tells her son "I'm not your friend, I'm your mom."  And I think to myself, nope.  Not for me.  If I were to edit that to fit our life I'd say something like, "I have to be your mom right now, Julian" (which I've never said) Or "BIG SISTER TIME!"  (usually followed by merciless torture tickles) or sometimes I put "best friend" on the end of everything I say to him.  And he gets it. I am the boss but also the fun one. We have games and jokes and try not to team up on Sean too much (it's just so fun though).

A few days ago he and I went on a bike ride. This is great because I've learned that exercise is good for kids.  I know, what? But he's sort of an inside kid and it's hard to think of ways to get him to move. Same goes for me, let's be honest.  It's also great because, as with many things, he's been a late-bloomer with the bike riding and as he improves, he's only lately understanding the feelings of joy and freedom riding one's bike brings.  So he's way more into it.  That means I have to force him less.  PLUS, we discovered a cute little wooden book exchange thing, or a "little free library" as it may be called, by the side of the trail. It's a good destination for readers who also may enjoy biking a little. We bring our junk books and take home other people's junk books.

This time, Julian selected Sideways Stories from Wayside School which, if you've read, you know is the trippiest book out there.  Like you know Louis Sachar is on some kind of drugs when he writes. I told Julian they always made me feel like I just woke up from a weird, slightly disturbing dream, which made him even more interested. 

The other book Julian chose was a parenting book called, Whining. 3 Steps to Stopping It Before the Tears and Tantrums Start.



                                                      
haha! I was like, really? That's your choice? And it was.  He's been reading it off and on. At one point he called to me from the other room "Mom? What does d-i-s-c-i-[this is about where my brain can't retain anymore letters] p-l-i-n-e spell?"   I kept thinking it was "disciple" until Sean saved the day. He also asked what it meant and I continued to play the game I've been playing (with myself) since he began asking me what words mean, which is providing the best definition I possibly can, the first time, with as few words as possible. "It means to correct behavior in some way. Perhaps punishment, perhaps showing or giving consequences to an action. Usually negative behavior."    Eh, I don't always win.   But he asked me this and I thought nothing of it at the time but now I laugh, realizing he was reading this dang parenting book.  

He'll tell us about some case studies he's reading (which he finds most interesting, which I totally get. Love the case studies) and one example gave was about a father driving his daughter to the craft store for supplies for a school project.  On the way she wanted ice cream and he said no. She threw a huge screaming fit so he turned around the car and took her home.  We all gave our input on the study and he thought that was a bit extreme on the dad's end.  I asked him what he thought the dad should do instead and he said "Just ignore the tantrum the best he can,  drive to the craft store and get the supplies for her."  I said, "What if she keeps crying and throwing a fit? He can't bring her in the store. That's not ok."  And Julian said, "then he should leave her in the car."  We then talked about at what age it's appropriate to leave a child in the car unattended and had a debate about me doing that, which i never do.  a) I am not at all inclined to leave him in the car and b) if I am, he never wants to do it. He freaks himself out too much.  But then we questioned the study entirely when we discovered the daughter was TEN. We all agreed that was a little old to be throwing a tantrum and that perhaps these parents have more problems than how to curb a typical tantrum.   Anyway, it just kills me. Love having these kinds of conversations.

A little while later at dinner he asked us how we make our decisions as parents. Sean and I were first like, whut?  And then I said something like, "I don't know. We just think about what's best for you and the situation, gather all the information in the moment and make a call. Sometimes it's not the best thing but we try."  And then we all got distracted by something but seriously, what a question.

Then last night he was on my lap (what, he's 9, it's fine) and he said to me,

"There's something I read in my book that you do that it says not to you, but you do it."


But he refused to tell me what it was because he didn't want me to stop doing the thing. But I finally persuaded him to tell me.

He relented, "Ok, it said, 'don't give second chances at the site of the crime.'" 

And we talked about what that means (I should probably look it up in the book to get more information) and determined the kind of context this was given.  We talked about when that might be helpful or when it might not be. He gave me specific examples in our parent/child relationship and I thought about the moment, reflecting on my behavior and his and the circumstances.  It's just so funny to me.   Like, why shouldn't I let him in on the parenting aspect of parenting him?  It's like being a teacher.  He's the best when he's the one allowed to teach. "Because I say so" is never going to work with him.  I definitely lay down the law on a lot of things but this kid is too danged emotionally intelligent and aware of his surroundings to not be allowed to give his input from time to time. Plus I like feedback, just as I would ask a little brother or best friend.  And as he sat on my lap, wearing his cat pajama shorts,  I snapped some pics of him, tickled to death at this squirt.








Sunday, December 09, 2018

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

I forgot to publish something today so I'm going back and putting something in just for my own sake.

The church I attend is implementing some changes in the teaching curriculum that are really, to me, more of a clarification of what I assumed we were already meant to be doing.  But people, scared of change and their own ability to make decisions, are concerned and want to be sure they're implementing this "new program" EXACTLY RIGHT.  But hey, we're all different and on our own path.  But they asked questions that, again, to me, were somewhat ridiculous and made me want to turn around and say to them, "What does your heart tell you?"

Sean and I and some friends were having some laughs at the madness and I realized that a lot of the questions being asked reminded me of an excellent SNL skit which I will share here.  And that's all I have to say about it.



Saturday Night Live Debt Skit from ABI Videos on href="https://vimeo.com">Vimeo.

Saturday, December 08, 2018

Spontaneous Christmas Poem

We got our first Lego advent calendar when Julian was pretty small, like two or three.  He's nine now so we thought we were ready for A SECOND LEGO ADVENT CALENDAR.  They are the best. We bought it months ago and have been so excited about it.  We have the calendars side-by-side and generally I do the old one while Julian does the new one.  I'm such a mom.

We were on our knees putting together the little drone for the toy store when Julian started saying something that sounded poetic. When he was done I asked him to say it again because I would like to make it into a poem.  So we said it again together and this is what we've come up with and I love it:



Sometimes I think Christmas will never come
It will never come
It will never come
And just as I think it will never come
It comes.

Friday, December 07, 2018

Kristmas Kitty

We got a new kitten. We've been wanting one. I think our cat has been super bored and would like one. This week I took Julian boot shopping. He's outgrown his snow boots and then it snowed and, well, you can figure the rest (that we went to get some new ones so he could walk in the snow. Was this explanation not necessary?)

After that, we realized there was a PetSmart down the way and we like to visit the critters there so we decided, let's do it again. Just a visit, why not? Nothing big will come of this. We will walk in the store and walk out empty-handed because we do not plan to buy anything. Not anything whatsoever.

Well.


Then we entered the adoption area where each compartment was filled with TINY ADORABLE KITTENS.  So many kittens! So many cats! Hundreds of cats, thousands of cats, millions and billions and trillions of cats!

They were so cute. So many were female, which is what we've wanted.  I thought, I should think on this. I should take my time. I should go home and come back another day with our cat carrier, at least.   No. We just decided to do it. So i bought all the things and we took home a little lady originally named Sabrina but I am really trying to make Marshmallow happen. Every time I hold her I want to call her a treat of some kind. "Little...gooey...peanut butter brownie! With marshmallow fluff!"  *small brain explosion*   

But it was too fun letting Julian choose a kitten and seeing the joy and hearing his happy shouts.  "I just thought this was going to be another boring day shopping for shoes with my mom! I would never have thought this would happen in my wildest dreams!"  (Also: burn) 

I'm a little freaked out introducing her to the big Poo who rules this kingdom.  I'm afraid he's going to eat her.  But I do think he wants a friend.  Does anyone have any tips of how to do this?  Julian is determined to make this new kit his own so he's doing his best to love up on her and help calm her stress and be her best friend.  We put her in a box with a screen to keep the King away a little bit and have since moved her to her own room.   The first night,I looked down to see Julian reading to her from his Garfield comic book and I was dying.  Sean said to me,


"You've taught Julian that the way to love is to read out loud."

Which is just the best. Man, I sure hope she doesn't get eaten. 

Here's a pic of Julian reading to the kit: 


                                         

She kneads a lot. Like has an insatiable need to knead. But she doesn't bite, which none of us understands. What? We're so used to Bitey McBiterson.


tiny little baby fuzzy paws! {sob sob sob}




                                                  
 I like Marshmallow because she looks like a toasted marshmallow, a burnt marshmallow, or marshmallow fluff. Also I want to eat her.  Plus it goes well with Pepper, which we never use. But still.



So far the two cats have been kept separate. When we do bring the little fluff out, our big cat is pret-ty wary.  She is bold and adventurous and wants to be pals but he is like, no thank you.  This morning they stood like this for several minutes, just staring at each other. I think he feels his throne is threatened and with good reason, because she is a tiny queen:


                                              
several minutes. Just staring and sitting.



This is as far as he got. He's looking at me give him a stern talking to after I heard strange guttural cat sounds emit. Afterward, he gave up and sauntered to his nest where the tiny one tries to climb up at him and is going to get swiped, I just know it.


                                             

 



Thursday, December 06, 2018

Pig Hole

I saw a stray pig the other day.  It was black and just sniffing around by the side of the road and I caught a glimpse as I drove by. I attempted to identify it and it was weird as I mentally crossed off the options of what kind of animal it could possibly be: 

Cat
Dog
Bear??

Pig!

I saw the first Christmas pig of the season, and it made me real happy. 

I just read this to Sean and remembered he had told me an interesting historical fact about pigs when we saw the stray pig by the side of the road. I asked him to tell me again.

SEAN: The Spanish explorers brought pigs as they traveled the continent because the pigs could transport themselves on hoof and take care of their own food needs. Cows can't feed themselves and chickens can't move themselves.

JEN: Can pigs pull, like, a small cart or something?

SEAN: No. Only in Willow do they do that.

JEN: Hahahahaha Willow! I forgot! hahaha!  Like pulling a plow or something?


SEAN: I think so.

He then fact-checked the Willow thing and sure enough:








Image result for do pigs pull a plow in the movie willow

As I continued writing this blog post, Sean continued looking at pig pictures.

SEAN: Pigs are just as cute as dogs, I'd say.


JEN: haha totally.. they are cute.

SEAN (still looking):  What is this...




Image result for pig george clooney 

JEN: We've really fallen down a pig hole here. 

Wednesday, December 05, 2018

Silent Notch


Here we are to another edition of... what.. weird things printed on packages? I'll have to think about that some more.  But every so often I feel like I come across something a little bizarre printed on packages. Some funny phrasing or nonsensical description that makes me go: ?   This one is just an error of the manufacturing but still, it gave me quite a lot of grief.  Ok, some grief.  Ok, a slight annoyance for ten seconds.

I got some strange protein bites from Trader Joe's and tried to open them.  Often packages have a little indent so it's easy to tear. But, as we all know, often it should be there and it isn't, and life is incredibly hard for just a moment.  That was the case for me and these protein bites.   Examine:



 Zoom in a little bit: 





Do YOU see a tear notch anywhere? Just because you print the words doesn't make it so!  Having it labeled so plainly made it all the more aggravating. If there had been nothing there I could have been more accepting behind the shroud of mystery. I'd have been like, well, I guess they purposely made this bag to be impenetrable, which I can respect.  But no. They put the words there so I would know FOR SURE there was a tear notch!  But there was nary a notch to be found.  I felt so duped, so deceived.  

I first tried to tear near the words, like I was instructed.  Then i migrated gradually over to both sides almost trying out each and every bump of that serrated bag edge, including down the sides where there is often a notch within an inch or two from the top.   Nothing.  I then tried opening it the same way but at the bottom of the bag, like a madman.  Not. I then tried pulling both sides apart, like a bag of chips.  Nope. Glued with liquid iron. (I imagine that would be a pretty impressive adhesive even though I don't think it chemically makes sense)  Finally I had to use scissors to open it, like I was living in Medieval times.  You know you've completely lost if it comes to scissors.  Or maybe teeth is the last desperate, pathetic option? I didn't resort to that, fortunately, but only because I had scissors on hand.


I opened it and was a little taken off guard when I saw that each bite came individually wrapped.  Normally I'd appreciate this immensely even though it's not so eco-friendly. But I was scared I might have to start all over again. Gladly, they opened easily. Not so gladly, they weren't amazing.  I'll keep them around for when I need a nutritional boost but a flavoral detriment. Plus I worked so darn hard for them. I will eat them all.



Tuesday, December 04, 2018

Issues: Soap Dispensers

Just because it's Christmas doesn't mean I can't complain. (-- I think this line was the alternate ending in It's a Wonderful Life.)  Also, I wanted to continue my series of Issues before I lose my steam and realize it's not really a big deal after all.

This one is simple and really just makes me laugh.


I think we've all experienced some sort of dysfunction when using a public restroom. This sounds weird. Allow me to continue.  Perhaps the stalls are too narrow? The doors are ridiculously low?  Maybe the placement of the hand dryers makes no sense.  Perhaps you spend what feels like hours making ridiculously exaggerated hand movements to get your motion sensor faucet to react so you can finally begin washing? This happens to me constantly, and I feel sure someone is playing a trick on me.

Another related problem that tickles me in a delightfully aggravating way is when they put the motion sensor soap dispenser (say that five times fast) too close to the motion sensor faucet. Once I've finally got the faucet going and am frantically washing my hands in spastic motions to keep it going, so it doesn't die and shut off forever, again, on the other hand (ha), what I have is an over-sensitive soap dispenser that keeps churning out soap onto my almost all clean hands. So I have to frantically rinse that off, and on and on it goes, reminding me once again that life is one ridiculous eternal round.

Monday, December 03, 2018

Snowy Cold

It snowed yesterday, surprisingly.  No one really saw it coming.  I was having a lazy morning in bed and happened to glance out the window and was like, WHAT IN THE HEY?  It was like in A Christmas Story, when Ralphie wakes up Christmas morn to a snow-covered world.  Inches deep and coating every single branch and twig and surface in the land.  Quiet and still.  Magical! I tried so hard to be mad but gosh dang if that wasn't the prettiest snow ever.  My friend (the same one who has caroling dreams) and I have made vows to each other to meet in the street to do a hate dance at the first snow but I couldn't bring myself to do it this time.   The dance, in my head, consists of cursing at the sky and violently throwing snowballs at the snow on the ground (in case you're curious). 

I'm still in a little bit of denial about winter. More than usual, i mean.  I've resigned to its coming but for some reason I really don't believe it's here.  I'm like, what? Wear gloves? No, what for? Save those for the REAL cold. Even though I have the world's lamest hands that lose all circulation if temperatures drop below 70.   I just don't think it's coming, I don't know why. {shoulder shrug}

By the way, I just did a google image search of "lame hands" just for fun and this was the first image to pop up:
Image result for lame hands
These are not my hands. My lame hands look more like this: 

Image result for raynaud's hands


But it's been cold enough lately.  Cold enough = 30's.  Anything lower than that probably falls under the category of  "stupid cold."  This + my lame hands means I should be well into the habit of wearing gloves.  I have some compression gloves I keep with me at all times but they're not winter gloves.  Anyway, this is getting boring.  My point is, we were in SLC Saturday and learned the Christkindlmarkt was happening. This is a German Christmas market (you would not have been able to figure this out on your own) that I've always wanted to visit and I was like hey, let's go check it out.  The problem was that Sean, the silly, didn't bring his coat. He was doing a little experiment, trying out the "suburban winter" way, where you don't really have to wear a coat, even in winter, because you just go from house to car in garage, to store or whatever location, back to car, back to house.  And he was right. Except he did not plan for spontaneous kindl markets and extended time outside.  He was wearing a sweater but that's it. On the bright side, I apparently keep spare gloves in the car year round so i had some mittens of mine he could wear and also some Julian-sized gloves for the kid.  It pays to never put things away for the spring.

He gladly accepted the mitts and as we walked from the parking lot up the frozen hill to the adorable market, he said the funniest thing and I had to hurry and record it on my phone. It went like this:
SEAN (making punching motions in the air at nothing): I just learned wearing just mittens makes me want to box.

JEN: Oh yeah? Just mittens though.

SEAN: Just mittens, with no coat on.  And not gloves.  If I had gloves on, I'd want to do a Darth Vader choke hold.

JEN: Ha ha ha

SEAN: I respond to costumes.  This is why I shouldn't wear a mask.

Hahahahaha it makes me laugh even now.    It all happened so fast, I barely had time to keep up because it just kept getting better and better.  Quality Sean quote right there and a funny thing to spot in oneself.  "I respond to costumes."  Also it makes me want to put random costumes on him, like my butterfly costume or Julian's dragon costume. 

Anyway, to summarize, it's snowy today and pretty cold and don't forget your gloves (or boxing mittens).