Tuesday, January 15, 2019

Best Dream

This morning I woke up an hour before my alarm.  Unacceptable! I said in my head.  And even though I was a little hot and needed to use the bathroom I refused to get up and relinquish the possibility of more sleep.  This works about 50% of the time and this round I had the happy fortune to achieve a few more minutes of sleep.  And not only that, but was bestowed with the best treat of a dream and let me tell you, what a gift it was:

I was hanging out with some friends, perhaps in a break room at an office where we were all having lunch and chatting.  Among the friends happened to be two people I wish I was buddies with in real life: Tony Shalhoub and Thomas Haden Church.  And the funny thing is that nobody was talking about how they were both on Wings, because first and foremost we were just friends, but at one point someone in the room started talking about their favorite Tony Shalhoub role and people began mentioning more prominent or recent characters he played:

"Well, I loved Monk...." and "Oh, mine is Abe Weissman" (on Marvelous Mrs Maisel).

And then I busted out with, "Well, you know who mine is.  How about Antonio??"  And everyone laughed because it was from so long ago, perhaps is a little obscure, and maybe embarrassing for him, our good buddy Tony.  This gave me the opportunity to say how I used to watch Wings everyday after school in Jr. High and it was my favorite. Thomas (Thomas Haden?) was joining in the laughter and I didn't even get into how much I loved his character Lowell, but I didn't have to. Because he knew. Because we were best friends.  And then I woke up.   BEST DREAM GOOD MORNING!

Wednesday, January 09, 2019

We Got the Beet

There are little moments in my life where I'm extremely pleased with myself.  And I delight myself to no end.  And if someone else gets what i'm going for and adds to it, I know they are a keeper and I must hold onto them and never let them go.  For example, the other night Sean was making some food and was slicing up some beets. One of them slipped and fell to the floor. 

JEN: Did you drop a beet, Sean? (😀) Did you miss a beet?  (😀😀)

SEAN: I just can't keep a beet.


Tuesday, January 01, 2019

To the New Year!

This year we let Julian stay up until midnight on NYE.  We went to a party with friends, had a fake midnight celebration, came home and slumber partied and watched nature documentaries until we counted down and celebrated. Sean and I reminisced about our 2004 Times Square New Year's Eve and how crazy and fun that was. Then I fake-slept for a while until i tip-toed up to my bed and left the sleeping boys downstairs.

I asked Julian if he had any New Year's resolutions and he said,

"Yes, my goal is to be kinder....."

*Pause while Jen is pleasantly shocked*

"...to my reflection."

Jen:  Image result for cat face staring open mouth

(It was really hard to find the right cat face i was going for but I guess that one will do)

Julian continued, "...because we get into full-on fights all the time."

I guess it's something.

I usually never make resolutions. I'm too busy mentally preparing for the depressive winter looming before me.  This year I've hardly had a chance to worry about it. Also I have discovered yoga and I think it might be kind of life changing for me. I'm also sort of looking forward to the lull, the hibernation.  It's been a busier time for me and I don't do well with harried, very much.  It's snowed a few times and I haven't minded it at all which, again, is super weird.  But I have big plans for January including doing lots of reading, contemplation, and friend gathering.  Hopefully more game playing.

As for the goals, I have some that I've decided to work on, completely separate from it being the new year, which is also surprising. Or perhaps they just coincidentally coincide (this phrasing feels redundant. it was fun to type out though)  I'm going to continue with the yoga'ing. I took Julian and Sean with me over the break and it was awesome. Julian does his best and cracks me up and Sean does his best and really likes it, which is fun. The teacher commended Julian's efforts at the end of class and he said, "Well, i did collapse a few times..."   which made me laugh.

Anyway, what else? I'm going to work on writing (ok so that's nothing new. but still. Maybe if I keep making the goal, it'll actually happen).  I'm determined to travel more, somehow.   I've also made some character goals for myself, an enormous undertaking indeed.

I'm in the midst of about 50 different Julian projects, including: 1- expose him to more people and opportunities. Get him out and make him interact with people. Teach him there are other people in the universe. Get him into the habit of helping others because that's just what you do.   2- learn how to deal with life's disappointments. Perhaps construct some disappointments since he's lived such a charmed life thus far.  But really, developing and implementing coping mechanisms to stress and anxiety. Still.  3- Take him to New York at some point and remind him of his roots.  4- Attempt to culture the kid. Can "culture" be a verb? Sean and I just had a discussion about this and he suggested "acculturate" which I don't think I mean, but is a nice word I'm happy to have learned. I think I'm ok using it as a verb. Culture me, everyone. 

Sean just said to me, "The only time i've heard it used that way is in reference to cheese and yogurt. To culture something, it gets better overtime. (Like cheese and yogurt.)    So if you have a culture in decline, then it's not really a culture. We played with words like that a lot in art class.  The teacher would ask what words meant and would offer an alternate meeting. The class was always trying to define art using art terms but every art term was another term as well." For example:

Draw:  to get water from a well.
Render: to cook the fat out of meat.

All of this was very interesting to me and was interrupted 80 times by a chirruping Julian who I kept shooting down until he finally found a window:

JULIAN: The best way to get someone to fly is to give them some expresso--

JEN: ESpresso.

JULIAN: Expresso.

JEN: ESpresso.

JULIAN: Espresso.

JEN: yes. how would this make someone fly?

JULIAN: They'd fly eight feet into the air.  The expresso--

JEN: espresso.

JULIAN: aaah, i mean... it's spelled with an 'x...'

JEN: No it isn't.

Remind me that breakfast time might not be the best blogging time. SO. Here's to the 1st day of 2019!

Friday, December 21, 2018

Cookie Day 2018

We woke up to rain on this, the Cookie Day of the year.  My two sisters got married this summer and so it was a true coming together at Grandma's for the big event.   It's actually quite chill but it did take all day. My brother just moved his family here from AZ. He's been living here for four months while they waited to see if their house would sell, which it did, just in time for Christmas.  So here they are, four days prior, exhausted and a little out of it.  It was a full house and we made our treats with a bunch of kids around to share in the jokes.    Man, I'm having such a hard time concentrating writing this boring blog post.  1) I'm really tired and 2) Julian just asked Alexa, who we've renamed "Computer" to "play Take On Me" which is awesome and a little funny but not surprising. It is also my phone's ringtone.     So I'm just blathering around random details to give you text to read when really I just wanted to put up a picture of our cookies.  So here they are:

From left to right:

1-  snicker bars, made by my mom. They are fantastic.
2- linzers by me, of course. With jelly made from the grape juice my mom canned and gave to me using grapes given to HER by her neighbor. I should have taken cookies to her and be like, look what has become of your grapes!
3- macarons with minty chocolate, by Steph.
4- Rugelach with blackberry jam and apricot jam that she made and is TDF.
5- Caramels by Ash who had to stir two pots at once while I told her stories which would have made me cry. I can barely cook mac 'n cheese if someone's distracting me-- "Whaaa I accidentally poured the cheese powder directly into the 6 cups of boiling water!"
6- toffee made by my mom, a week ago, when she made at least 13 batches to give to a bunch of people. Toffee is Sean's favorite. (just fyi)

 I have said this before but, though I love it all,  i come for the rugelach.  That rolled up jam with the weird pastry-like cookie roll-up is just aces.  

Ok, i'm out!  COOKIE DAY!

Thursday, December 20, 2018

Hilarious Overnight French Toast

Some family is coming into town and we're having a breakfast gathering in a couple of days. I happened upon this one for overnight french toast, which i love.  As I was scrolling through it to get the gist and also to the bottom where the actual recipe most likely is, I realized that the description...was... funny.  Whaaaaaaat?  It actually made me laugh out loud and I read this certain part to Sean and I laughed even harder.  What the hey? What is happening in the world? I usually can't stand reading the drivel on a food blog or food website or whatever it is. But I loved this one so much I wanted to share it with you.

I haven't made the recipe, so who knows if it's good. But I am more inclined to try it because the person writing it is funny and if they're funny, they probably know good food.  My logic is sound.

Here's the excerpt I read to Sean:

Triple dairy threat: The custard is a ton of eggs, plus a combo of whole milk and heavy cream, because it’s CHRISTMAS, COME ON. The third dairy is a dollop of crème fraîche on every serving, the metaphorical tiny present you find under the tree after all the presents have been opened—and inside the ring box is a dollop of crème fraîche.

Hahahaha. Juust tickles my funny bone, I don't know...

Anyway, click here to read the "article"(?) and have the totally bizarre experience of reading about a recipe purely for entertainment purposes. Also,  I'll let you know if the recipe is good but it reads really good, so I'm hopeful.

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

Winter Poem

I love a good winter poem.  And though this would probably be best used in the dead of winter, it surprisingly almost gives me a quiet thrill for it, for the dead of winter, I mean. It's supposed to snow in the coming days and suddenly whatever Christmas wishes and desires I may have had have vanished from me except that of a white Christmas. As usual.  Just please be snowy. If there's a chance, then let it be real. This poem makes me want go out on a winter walk. I hope I get to.  I always love me some Bobby Frost and one thing I love about this is how he captures a pause in stillness of winter. That elusive moment I can never quite describe.  And it's almost always certain to be private.  It's simple instruction for experiencing a bit of magic when magic seems frozen.  He pauses, acknowledges that something may be happening right now, describes it, and moves on, allowing it to be the fleeting moment he supposes it was meant to be. 

Stopping by Woods

on a Snowy Evening

By Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Three Things

1. I am always mixing up the words of songs. I do the same thing with common phrases or sayings. They're just a little bit wrong.  For example,  was listening to Silver Bells and I sang, while shoppers rush home to their treasures.  Instead of "with."  It makes me laugh.

2. I opened the trunk of my car the other day, with grocery bags in my arms, when my yoga mat came tumbling out.  With catlike reflexes, I caught it with my foot and balanced it, keeping it from rolling around on the gross pavement, which I believe I may safely say is probably thanks to doing yoga. 

3. I've never been so busy at Christmas as I've been this year. 


Monday, December 17, 2018

Johnny Cash Christmas II

 Oh man, Johnny Cash does it again.  His Christmas music KILLS me.  Every time I hear a song I imagine the day of recording being something like,

Everything is ready--musicians, backup vocalists. It's all set up. Producers (or whoever) nervously wait to see if Johnny shows up, knowing that each minute that passes costs them more and more cash, (ironically). 

Johnny finally does show up, staggers in a little bit tipsy but enthusiastic. Everyone sighs in relief and just as he begins to record, he pauses, turns to the people in the booth and says, "Now, remind me of the words again?"

The way he sings these songs is just so funny, this one in particular.  Sean and I heard it a few days ago and after a few seconds of it, we both just looked at each other and stared for a minute.  It was so utterly bizarre.  What I love is how he seems to hold the notes the completely wrong way. For instance, the he holds out the M, which is a really funny consonant to sing for an extended period. Like, are you humming? Maybe instead of holding the consonant, you hold the vowel? I mean I'm no expert. But he's all, 

"O commme  all ye faithful, joyful and triummmmphant."  Like with vibrato and everything.  Weird.

Then later,

"O come let us adorrrrre him." Like, why hold the R? Why can't you say "Adooooore him."  Who sings like this? Just makes me laugh.  Love that Johnny Cash Christmas.

Here's the link so you can enjoy for yourself.

Sunday, December 16, 2018

A Celebration of History

"My story began when I started my journal" I said to Sean, on this, the 25th anniversary of the inaugural entry of my journal. " My life before that is vague images, far away and almost lost to me."

"The definition of the beginning of history is when people began writing things down. Anything before that is pre-history," he said in reply. 

The word "pre-historic" means before the invention of writing.

I have mentioned this before, but I often (still) think about a question I enjoy which is, how old were you when you became who you are?  Is there an origin you can trace yourself back to? A certain birth of self?   13 was always my answer.  I have attributed this to a certain year in Junior High, doing certain things that I felt were me in the process of self-discovery. I have included starting my journal as a part of why I feel this way but I don't think it was the start because it happened to be when i began keeping a journal. The act of keeping a journal triggered the start of me, if that makes sense, which it may not.  I started writing down my life and thus it became truly mine, to keep and look back on forever.  I'd feel lost in space without it. And it begs the question: Would I be me if I never wrote it down? Does a story untold exist at all?  Also, if all this is true, that would actually make me 25 years old, and that sounds cool.

Don't worry, I'm not going to put in old journal excerpts-- buuut I AM going to include links to past blog posts with journal excerpts! But listen. I found this one and was dying at the things mentioned.  First of all:  At this very moment, Sean and Julian are downstairs waiting for me to finish so we can watch A Christmas Carol(!!)  We go to this play every year and it's the best. However, this year we missed it because opted to go to another play happening this year which was a musical of The Best Christmas Pageant Ever(!!!) Also mentioned in that blog post from four years ago(!!)  And we loved it. But see? Isn't it crazy? What's happening? I guess I'm blogging at Christmastime in all of these blog posts is what's happening. But still.   I'm loving the connection, I don't care how non-coincidental it may be. Also I'm loving those Jessie Spano vests which I was JUST talking about in Christmas Clothes.  So you see? I will forever be who I am.  And I think that's something to be celebrated. 

We're silver this year. {heart}  Happy Journalversary.

Also this one

Saturday, December 15, 2018

Cat on a Cold Ice Roof

For a big family Christmas dinner, Sean and I are bringing a Christmas roast. Two, actually. (See previous post)  It's going to be so beautiful. I have complete faith in Sean. Tonight we prepared the rub so it can sit overnight.  Julian was assigned to grind 3 tablespoons of fresh pepper which, in case you're wondering, takes infinity minutes.  He worked so hard and got so tired. I held the tablespoon out for him even though pepper was flying in every direction.    Sean finely chopped the rosemary and added the olive oil to create what smelled like the most intense pesto ever.  As I watched him slather the sauce all over the meats, Sean remarked:

"Smells like pesto. Pesto that'll burn your face off,"  which gave me a laugh.   I asked him if he wanted a spoon to scrape the last bits of rosemary rub out of the bowl.

"Nah,"  he said. "No better tool than your hands."

To which I replied, "That's... not true."  And we both simultaneously gave funny examples.  I said, "why don't you go and hammer that nail with your hands" while he said, "...stir a pot of boiling pasta..."  which made me laugh again.   

Sean said, "it takes half a second to think of a counter example when you're just plain wrong." 

As I continued to giggle through this whole thing, he went on,

"When I'd be watching The Frugal Gourmet as a tween..."   and that's when I had to pause and scribble on a post-it everything that had just transpired.  

 As a bonus funny thing, during all of this, I heard our cat mew from the outside which means he needs to come in (unnecessary explanation).  Sean opened the door and exclaimed, "well look at you! What are you doing up there? Do you want to come in or are you just showing off?"

I came over to investigate and saw this:

He stood there for a while and then we watched him do almost a vertical swan dive straight down to the ground and land perfectly on his paws.   I applauded, "well done! 10!"  And Sean said, "Just what he wanted.  'yes, I am a gifted athlete!'"

Afterwhich we shut the door and Sean continued, "Anyway, so the Frugal Gourmet always said to get your hands messy..." 


Friday, December 14, 2018

Conversational Errands

Today I'm going to blog about some hodgepodge interactions I've had recently that amuse me to varying degrees. 

In no particular order:

1. I was chatting with friends about our fear of buying red meat at the grocery store because we're idiots and never know what to get and it's always different from what the recipe calls for.   Every year my family has a big Christmas dinner and this year I thought it would be fun to bring a big Christmas roast.  I often find myself scrolling through recipes I know I'll NEVER make.  But I found one and was like, "hey, Sean, wouldn't it be fun to bring a big ol' Christmas roast that people can slice as they go down the buffet table?"  He agreed and then I said, "good, because I found a recipe, so here you go."   I feel a little lame about being so lame in the kitchen but then we reminded me that I am most often the one getting the supplies at the store and it's definitely me doing my fair share because a) it's the worst and b) I don't know things.  I have no instinct so if the thing isn't exact, I'm hopeless.  This is exactly how I am with cooking actually, and why I prefer baking.  Baking tells me EXACTLY what i should do, at exactly which temperature, etc.  Cooking is like, "whatever you want!" and I just can't.

So I found the big roasts but none were exactly as the recipe said and nowhere near as large as 14 lbs.  I even weighed one in the produce scale because there was no weight to be found anywhere on the packaging and it said 5 lbs. What?  Anyway, whatever. I grabbed two and hurried out of there because I'm pretty sure weighing raw meat in the produce might be frowned upon.

Also I went to the fish guy to get some salmon and asked if he might know where the powdered mushroom packets would be.  He had no idea so he got on his walkie talkie and asked someone as I double checked my list and it said "dried porcini mushroom packet," not powder, and I had to be like, "wait, not powdered! DRIED.  What was i thinking?? I saw those over there. Nevermind! ABORT" and he had to say "nevermind" on his walkie talkie and it was super awkward and funny. (in my defense, later Sean told me the dried porcinis would be made into a powder, so i'm not completely insane. But this speaks to my complete lack of knowledge. Is mushroom powder even a thing?? I would never know. Except now I do.)

2.  Also at Harmon's (that same day), the checkout girl asked if i'd like curbside pickup. Since it was snowy and gross and because i wanted it, I said yes i would.  She went to write my name on the post-it and said, "It's Jenny, right?" (she had scanned my card so my name was visible) I paused for a split second and then said, "yup."  And for the first time in my life, I became Jenny.  And the conversation that followed-- "Thanks, Jenny! have a good day, Jenny."   then outside when the boy went to load my car:  "... are you Jenny?"  "yup" --was surreal. 

3. I'm getting pretty tired of Trader Joe's employees asking me about my big weekend/Christmas/day plans.  I used to enjoy it but now I'm too tired and guess what, i'm not doing anything, and I hardly even have my wits about me to think of an answer.  So I usually say something like, "Shopping at Trader Joe's! Doesn't get any bigger than that, amiright."  But often they press for more information, like "no seriously..." Like, they won't accept that as an answer and need details: Names, places, times, etc.  And I'm just like, "back off, man."  It makes me feel seriously interrogated and I just didn't sign up for that.  So there's a chattiness balance.  Let's find it.

4. I came home from errands just now and went to the office to ask Sean a question.  The door was locked which sometimes happens when he's on an important call and can't be interrupted.  But not so much anymore, since Julian is older and less prone to burst in loudly. Also, since the kid is at school, I can't help but wonder what Sean thinks I'm going to do-- "GUESS WHAT YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE IT BLAAHHHH!"  (that's me being noisy and disruptive as I burst in, obv).  

Actually, I could see that happening.  Well,  I texted him:
JEN: I like when the door's locked. Makes me feel like a child. {tongue sticking out emoji}

SEAN: I heard noises and got scared, so I'M the child.

JEN: hahaha! So instead of checking it out, you locked the door??

SEAN: Well no, I did check it out but there was nothing there.

JEN: Locking the door won't keep out the ghosts, Sean.

SEAN: I just feel weird having my back to the door.


And there you have it.  This blog post is a reminder to me and example that anything can be something, if you just write it down and work it a bit.   As the late, great Nora Ephron said, "Everything is copy." 

Thursday, December 13, 2018


Shout-out to a squirt-aged Julian.

I looked over at the random pile of drying dishes that hadn’t made it into the dishwasher (don’t ask) and saw that the clear small cup had pinned the fork in what appeared to be an epic wrestling match. That fork's going nowhere.

Also I kind of love these pics. I mean look at the composition. Look at the texture and color.  You know it’s been many days indoors and the middle of 25 days of )en when I start taking pictures of random crap around my house. But I definitely know it's not the first time.

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Christmas Clothes

Every once in a while, Sean and I serendipitously and simultaneously find the same category of item. It's super random, nothing really comes of it, but I know it's meant to be.  Remember the keychain incident? (The pictures don't work but it's still worth mentioning.) That was crazy.

Well, over Thanksgiving, we visited an antique shop that had a lot of recent acquisitions.  We both walked toward the clothing area and simultaneously found VESTS.  Wonderful vests.  And like mirror reflections, we simultaneously put them on.  And took pictures. 


Sooo great.  Sean left his at the shop but mine came home with me.  Handmade with 3 (6?) double-breasted buttons at the bottom. I don't really know what that means. All I know is there are 3, less ornate hidden inner buttons to ensure closure.  So good. I wear it as often as possible. I had Julian snap another pic:

Then one day we were in the mall and I spotted a hat that I made Julian wear. He agreed he thought it was cool, but now I'm not so sure.  He's worn it to school a couple times to make me happy but thinks he'll be ridiculed by the kids so hasn't worn it much after that, which is tragic.  Especially because he pulls it off so well, and everyone knows if you believe you can pull it off, everyone else will believe you.

"cool kid" pic face(?)

So funny.

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Christmas Prayers

The little bits of conversation we have these days are just jewels to me. And I seize them and tuck them away in my pocket (aka publish on my blog) because I love them so.

JULIAN: I always wake up early on Christmas morning and wait around for you for so long. This year, we should have a penny or something baked in a treat and whoever gets it gets to decide the wake up time Christmas morning.

JEN: Uhhh.. I don’t know about that. You don't wake up that much earlier than us, do you? I thought we all woke up about the same time.

JULIAN: Oh yes I do. I'm awake sooo long before you. I actually say prayers so that you’ll wake up.

Monday, December 10, 2018

Julian: Parenting Expert, Age 9

So it's nothing new that we have perhaps an unusual relationship with Julian.  Or that the three of us have an interesting dynamic.  It's always been that we have to remind him he does not have an equal part in the decision-making in our home. But that reminder's for us as well.  I remember hanging with friends and one mentioned she tells her son "I'm not your friend, I'm your mom."  And I think to myself, nope.  Not for me.  If I were to edit that to fit our life I'd say something like, "I have to be your mom right now, Julian" (which I've never said) Or "BIG SISTER TIME!"  (usually followed by merciless torture tickles) or sometimes I put "best friend" on the end of everything I say to him.  And he gets it. I am the boss but also the fun one. We have games and jokes and try not to team up on Sean too much (it's just so fun though).

A few days ago he and I went on a bike ride. This is great because I've learned that exercise is good for kids.  I know, what? But he's sort of an inside kid and it's hard to think of ways to get him to move. Same goes for me, let's be honest.  It's also great because, as with many things, he's been a late-bloomer with the bike riding and as he improves, he's only lately understanding the feelings of joy and freedom riding one's bike brings.  So he's way more into it.  That means I have to force him less.  PLUS, we discovered a cute little wooden book exchange thing, or a "little free library" as it may be called, by the side of the trail. It's a good destination for readers who also may enjoy biking a little. We bring our junk books and take home other people's junk books.

This time, Julian selected Sideways Stories from Wayside School which, if you've read, you know is the trippiest book out there.  Like you know Louis Sachar is on some kind of drugs when he writes. I told Julian they always made me feel like I just woke up from a weird, slightly disturbing dream, which made him even more interested. 

The other book Julian chose was a parenting book called, Whining. 3 Steps to Stopping It Before the Tears and Tantrums Start.

haha! I was like, really? That's your choice? And it was.  He's been reading it off and on. At one point he called to me from the other room "Mom? What does d-i-s-c-i-[this is about where my brain can't retain anymore letters] p-l-i-n-e spell?"   I kept thinking it was "disciple" until Sean saved the day. He also asked what it meant and I continued to play the game I've been playing (with myself) since he began asking me what words mean, which is providing the best definition I possibly can, the first time, with as few words as possible. "It means to correct behavior in some way. Perhaps punishment, perhaps showing or giving consequences to an action. Usually negative behavior."    Eh, I don't always win.   But he asked me this and I thought nothing of it at the time but now I laugh, realizing he was reading this dang parenting book.  

He'll tell us about some case studies he's reading (which he finds most interesting, which I totally get. Love the case studies) and one example gave was about a father driving his daughter to the craft store for supplies for a school project.  On the way she wanted ice cream and he said no. She threw a huge screaming fit so he turned around the car and took her home.  We all gave our input on the study and he thought that was a bit extreme on the dad's end.  I asked him what he thought the dad should do instead and he said "Just ignore the tantrum the best he can,  drive to the craft store and get the supplies for her."  I said, "What if she keeps crying and throwing a fit? He can't bring her in the store. That's not ok."  And Julian said, "then he should leave her in the car."  We then talked about at what age it's appropriate to leave a child in the car unattended and had a debate about me doing that, which i never do.  a) I am not at all inclined to leave him in the car and b) if I am, he never wants to do it. He freaks himself out too much.  But then we questioned the study entirely when we discovered the daughter was TEN. We all agreed that was a little old to be throwing a tantrum and that perhaps these parents have more problems than how to curb a typical tantrum.   Anyway, it just kills me. Love having these kinds of conversations.

A little while later at dinner he asked us how we make our decisions as parents. Sean and I were first like, whut?  And then I said something like, "I don't know. We just think about what's best for you and the situation, gather all the information in the moment and make a call. Sometimes it's not the best thing but we try."  And then we all got distracted by something but seriously, what a question.

Then last night he was on my lap (what, he's 9, it's fine) and he said to me,

"There's something I read in my book that you do that it says not to you, but you do it."

But he refused to tell me what it was because he didn't want me to stop doing the thing. But I finally persuaded him to tell me.

He relented, "Ok, it said, 'don't give second chances at the site of the crime.'" 

And we talked about what that means (I should probably look it up in the book to get more information) and determined the kind of context this was given.  We talked about when that might be helpful or when it might not be. He gave me specific examples in our parent/child relationship and I thought about the moment, reflecting on my behavior and his and the circumstances.  It's just so funny to me.   Like, why shouldn't I let him in on the parenting aspect of parenting him?  It's like being a teacher.  He's the best when he's the one allowed to teach. "Because I say so" is never going to work with him.  I definitely lay down the law on a lot of things but this kid is too danged emotionally intelligent and aware of his surroundings to not be allowed to give his input from time to time. Plus I like feedback, just as I would ask a little brother or best friend.  And as he sat on my lap, wearing his cat pajama shorts,  I snapped some pics of him, tickled to death at this squirt.

Sunday, December 09, 2018


I forgot to publish something today so I'm going back and putting something in just for my own sake.

The church I attend is implementing some changes in the teaching curriculum that are really, to me, more of a clarification of what I assumed we were already meant to be doing.  But people, scared of change and their own ability to make decisions, are concerned and want to be sure they're implementing this "new program" EXACTLY RIGHT.  But hey, we're all different and on our own path.  But they asked questions that, again, to me, were somewhat ridiculous and made me want to turn around and say to them, "What does your heart tell you?"

Sean and I and some friends were having some laughs at the madness and I realized that a lot of the questions being asked reminded me of an excellent SNL skit which I will share here.  And that's all I have to say about it.

Saturday Night Live Debt Skit from ABI Videos on href="https://vimeo.com">Vimeo.