Friday, December 23, 2022


 A few weeks ago, Julian came to me and said he'd like to get a present for the family on Amazon but wasn't sure how to do it because we would see.  I held very still so as not to give away the fact that my heart was doing somersaults. Playing it very cool, very chill, we discussed whether or not to have him use his own bank account or just to use my Amazon account and I'd try really hard not to look. We continued on with the day and before we landed on anything, he just went ahead and used his own account and I was like, what? but wait.. meh.. ok.  Because that's the kind of parent I am.  But anyway. It was so precious to me, this moment, because a) he wanted to get a gift for someone else. He had a thought and it was for others [many exclamation points]. And b) he said to me, 

"Ahh now it's hard because I want to tell you but I can't. Is this how it is for you?"  

Heeheeheehahaha.  I laughed and nodded, very assuredly and very pleased, 

"Yes. It is very fun." 

 Discovering for the first time in his life the feeling of anticipating someone else's pleasure or joy.  "This is... new. It's... different?"   We often refer to him as the humanoid-- ok, not really. It's a term he's lately used to refer to himself and I told him I am totally using that.  So yeah. Watching him is sometimes like watching the excellent episodes of Star Trek NG when Data is trying to be more human or has a strange opportunity to experience it. We delight in it-- things trying to be more human. Or at least I do. (Data episodes were always the best ones) Why?  I don't know. But this moment was magic.  

1 comment:

Ash said...

WHAT WAS THE GIFT??? We need to know. Also, this is super sweet. I love seeing real moments of growth and maturity.