Every once in a while I have a date with my thoughts. We meet up and quickly embrace, then settle in for some together time. It's a potentially fraught relationship, deep and complex, requiring constant reconciliation. But then, perhaps the best ones are. Some of the thoughts I simply let be. Others I mine for potential. Eventually I transfigure some into actual words and production. We invite creativity, never the third wheel, who joins us and spreads her influence where she can. Our interaction is very fluid and we often jump around from topic to topic and then back again, seeing where the day takes us. I give it my full attention, total dedication, and shut out everything else for as long as I can.
It can feel indulgent and reckless, going out like this, with no clear plan. We have no agenda other than what feels most pressing or desirable in the moment, and we opt for the done list, discarding the to do. Soul-sharing is inevitable, together revisiting common ground and interests, then, holding hands, probing the untapped and unexplored. Some avenues are frustrated, or straight up dead ends, but we don't care. We don't linger long. We might see what there is to see and then turn around. There may be disputes. We may eventually agree to disagree and shake hands on the matter, hoping for some progress on a revisit down the road.
When we feel we've explored all that can be for now, we let the night draw to a close. Sentiments of "how long it's been" and "we really should do this more often" are shared, astounded yet again by how necessary it was stacked against how many times it's been put off. Pins of potential are pushed, gentle reminders are set, and earnest promises are made. We always depart as friends, with the comforting knowledge of knowing and being known a little bit more, deciding that it is, indeed, good to indulge.
This made me laugh. I need to allow myself space to think more often. Maybe next week... But honestly, I think better when I'm either writing, or talking. It's like my thoughts are too nebulous to bother with until they take on either of those forms...
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