Thursday, August 25, 2011

Apocalypse Soon

So, i'm pretty convinced we're on the brink of experiencing some kind of apocalypse and NY is going to be the first to go.  I always thought Manhattan and this big island I live on are bound to up and sink into the ocean one day so let's add up the ways that are going to bring it about:

Last summer: Tornado in Brooklyn.  It was crazy.  Caused quite a bit of damage and I watched every Youtube video i could that people took of the storm.  I remember looking out at that eerie green and wondering, what could that possibly mean?  Trees were everywhere. Buildings torn apart. Trees on cars and buildings.

Last winter: Worst snow i've EVER seen in my nearly 8 years of living here.  Storm after storm after storm. Mountains of snow. One flight completely canceled with no hope of a resched. Another flight severely damaged and delayed.

Two days ago: Earthquake.  It hit VA but let's just say I was in insta-panic mode when I felt it.  I was sitting on this here bungee office chair bouncing like an idiot and thought my eyes were playing tricks on me.  I was amused but in a totally freaked out sort of way. I thought it was construction but i couldn't hear any machinery and it just kept going on far too long and that's when i screamed thought, earthquake!!!  I jumped up, looked around at all the slightly rattling fixtures and swaying lines of our apartment, decided there was nothing I could do, and sat down and went onto Facebook.  I learned that I don't like the sudden feeling that everything around me is made of jello.

Several weeks ago we began having all these church lessons on preparing for a hurricane since apparently NY is due for a biggie.  We often get the mild version of a hurricane that shows itself by just raining a lot. The last devastating one, for our area, was 75 years ago and the last big one before that was 75 years before that.   So since the first talks of hurricane preparedness I went to Costco, bought random crap in bulk that i never ever normally consume but may just be the thing i need to survive should/when the apocalypse comes.    Then came the earthquake and as i sat at the desk and looked at all the glass vases and ceramic kitchenwares above my face i thought, ahhhh we're all going to die!! Aaaaahhh! i really need to prepare & get more stuff.

So Sean's been bringing home water. We have a decent food storage (excluding the individual packs of insta-chef boyardee [thanks costco] ), excellent flashlights with extra batteries.  A friend and i were emailing and she said she saw this on amazon and in a berserk-like fashion, i bought it before i had finished reading the email.  I just went to Target this morning and stocked up on paper goods and diapers.  Geez, that trip was enough to necessitate food storage/emergency preparedness in and of itself.  It was pretty insane in the store-- not as bad as i know it'll be in a couple of days, but sufficiently more nuts than usual-- and of course I always put my and Julian's life in danger each time I drive to and from there.  This day was particularly bad and it also began to rain which caused a small amount of mayhem in the store.  I can't believe how much i've adapted to the driving ways here because you absolutely must be in your top form. It's shocking. And on this drive when I felt the likelihood of disaster loom ever closer, I started taking a mental inventory of all the supplies i had just bought:
  • Fuzzy winter pajamas for Julian, so he'll at least be warm tonight when we have to sleep in the car when we're under the dogpile of cars at the corner of Flatbush & Hell (located here).  
  • Plenty of toilet paper and paper towels, not to mention garbage bags (tmi).
  • just got diapers and wipes--excellent.
  • he has a bit of water, but I did buy a jug of milk so we'll have to drink that up before it goes bad.
  • food--yes, we're good for a while.
  • medicine in case he's hurting
  • kid vitamins so he gets all his nutrients after we're stuck for days and days
  • and Scrabble Slam for me when i need some downtime.
Hurricane Irene is making her way up the coast. I don't really know where she is now--i think maybe out in the ocean by the Bahamas-- but she's scheduled to hit NC Friday and then make her way up the coast to NYC and Long Island this weekend.  So, i'll keep you posted.

If I die:  I just want to say, i really appreciate your readership. If you really wanted to show you care, you might want to leave a comment so at least i had an enormous amount of comments i could read before we get washed away. (and we never did get our boat so forget that)  But if not, that's ok.  It'd be sort of a dying wish, but no pressure.   And, making my blog into a book wouldn't be the worst thing.  I'm just saying.  (you could even have them pre-signed by the author! forged, of course. but still.)

(Also: I really want my carnival-themed funeral.) 

Wish us luck!


Lianna said...

Thanks for pressuring me into commenting :) and making me re-evaluate my emergency supplies. I hope you survive this hurricane so I can enjoy reading your blog for years to come. I can't believe you've been there for 8 years. I liked your story game and it reminded me of pictionary. That was fun. You sound like you are prepared for the worst, but it's not likely. I'll make your blog into a book if you die :)

Ashley said...

And I'll see to the carnival funeral. I hope you don't die, but I sure am glad you have some Scrabble Slam to help you through the hard times ahead.

Brooke said...

I am glad you made the Target run before the insanity totally hits. I don't even want to imagine fighting crowds of people for the last diapers in the store. Chunga (he's back on The End!) said the other day that one should stockpile tampons in case of emergency because surely they could be used as currency. Brilliant. So if you go out again, get lots of tampons. That being said, stay safe AND entertained. :)

Pedersen Posse said...

I just read NYC had mandatory evacuations. Is that you too? Good luck!

)en said...

you 4 are my best friends.

Fortunately we are on higher ground and out of the flood zone. (See See here for a map.) We live northwest of Clara Barton HS.

True that re: tampons. I always think about that when I hear of natural disasters.

Wes said...

As I recall its Boston that gets swallowed by the ocean, NYC is an earthquake, and Albany burns. You should be okay this weekend! Just don't visit Boston...

There is a quote from one of the early church leaders along those lines, it was in the Church History manual? Albany is a very rough place to do missionary work, reading that quote gave us some satisfaction after having the cops called yet again, or a gun pulled, or vulgar comments yelled at us. :-)

But in all seriousness, good luck and best wishes with the storm this weekend!

Wes said...

Okay, found the reference. Its in the Doctrine and Covenants Institute manual, Section 84:114, at the end of the chapter. According to Wilford Woodruff circa 1863 it will be NYC by earthquake, Boston by flood, and Albany by fire...

Lindsey said...

Alright, just wanted to leave my comment so you know I'm part of your readership and because I've been worrying/thinking about you guys all weekend - hoping you don't "wash away."

Natalie R. said...

I'm glad to be reading this after the fact and know that all is well. Phew! It is a bit end of the world having all of these crazy disasters, I'm thinking I really need to start working on my year supply of food...