JEN: Sean, give me a blog topic I can write about so i can publish something for tomorrow. C'mon.
SEAN: Good and bad moments in the history of Johnny Depp.
JEN: What? No! Why??
SEAN: Kites and why you love them.
JEN: I've already done that.
SEAN: The sad tale of losing Shark in the tree.
JEN: Already did that.
Is there nothing left to blog about??
SEAN: Of course, there are thousands.
JEN: Gimme one.
SEAN: A massage chair in a car.
JEN: You want me to talk about a commercial I just saw??
SEAN: You don't have to set it up that way.
JEN: What, as if i just thought of it? i'll just be like, "You know what cars should have? a massage chair."
JEN: You know, they should put those in cabs. Because, what regular passenger in a regular car really needs a massage? If anyone needs it, it's the driver. Except in a cab--who cares about the cab driver.
SEAN: So that's where the massage chair should be.
SEAN: Coin operated.
Although... now that i think about it, that actually sounds really gross. Nevermind. This idea went nowhere fast. Can you give me another topic?
SEAN: Your favorite barnyard animal.
JEN: I hate you. that's a terrible idea. It's a goat.
SEAN: How about, swimming in pools vs. swimming in natural bodies of water.
JEN: Ok, something someone would actually want to read about.
SEAN, [tired slurred speech]: It might not start well, but as you get going, you know... [trails off, distracted by TV]
JEN: What would you want to learn about?
SEAN: I don't know, some of your favorite bodies of water you've swam in.
JEN: I am going to die of boredom right.... now.
Ok, I really like to swim. When I swim, I remember that i actually love it a lot.
SEAN: I overheard _____ saying to _____, "Yeah, i really need to work on my ____ stroke." [some swimming stroke]
JEN: Haha, that's funny.
SEAN: I just think it's an insane conversation... like that's something someone really needs to work on--their form doing this specific swim stroke.
JEN: I have such a headache. I'm just going to go to bed. This post is the best thing ever.
SEAN: What did it turn out to be about?
JEN: I recorded this whole conversation.
SEAN: Oh no! Do i sound unfunny or incompetent? Look, there's a show about perkier boobs. Look at this--in the info-- "Perkier boobs" [then continues to read the description]
JEN [laughing]: stop it. stop reading, perv.
SEAN: i mean, there's the World's Greatest Bra; that's on in the morning. Every morning, Julian and I flip past it.