Monday, July 18, 2011

A Post About Swimming

JEN:  Sean, give me a blog topic I can write about so i can publish something for tomorrow. C'mon.

SEAN:  Good and bad moments in the history of Johnny Depp. 

JEN: What? No! Why??

SEAN:  Kites and why you love them. 

JEN:  I've already done that

SEAN:  The sad tale of losing Shark in the tree.

JEN:  Already did that.

Is there nothing left to blog about??

SEAN:  Of course, there are thousands. 

JEN:  Gimme one.

SEAN: A massage chair in a car.

JEN: You want me to talk about a commercial I just saw??

SEAN:  You don't have to set it up that way. 

JEN: What, as if i just thought of it?  i'll just be like, "You know what cars should have? a massage chair."

SEAN: Sure

JEN:  You know, they should put those in cabs.  Because, what regular passenger in a regular car really needs a massage? If anyone needs it, it's the driver.  Except in a cab--who cares about the cab driver. 

SEAN:   So that's where the massage chair should be.

JEN: Yes.

SEAN: Coin operated.


 Although... now that i think about it, that actually sounds really gross.  Nevermind.  This idea went nowhere fast.  Can you give me another topic?

SEAN: Your favorite barnyard animal.

JEN: I hate you. that's a terrible idea.  It's a goat. 

SEAN: How about, swimming in pools vs. swimming in natural bodies of water.

JEN: Ok, something someone would actually want to read about.

SEAN, [tired slurred speech]: It might not start well, but as you get going, you know...  [trails off, distracted by TV]

JEN: What would you want to learn about?

SEAN: I don't know, some of your favorite bodies of water you've swam in.

JEN: I am going to die of boredom right.... now.  

 Ok, I really like to swim. When I swim, I remember that i actually love it a lot.  

SEAN: I overheard _____ saying to _____, "Yeah, i really need to work on my ____ stroke."  [some swimming stroke]  

JEN: Haha, that's funny.

SEAN: I just think it's an insane conversation... like that's something someone really needs to work on--their form doing this specific swim stroke.  

JEN: I have such a headache.  I'm just going to go to bed.   This post is the best thing ever. 

SEAN: What did it turn out to be about?

JEN: I recorded this whole conversation.

SEAN: Oh no! Do i sound unfunny or incompetent? Look, there's a show about perkier boobs.  Look at this--in the info-- "Perkier boobs" [then continues to read the description]

JEN [laughing]: stop it. stop reading, perv.

SEAN: i mean, there's the World's Greatest Bra; that's on in the morning. Every morning, Julian and I flip past it.

JEN: pervs.


Joel said...

Sean must have done something really bad to deserve this post. And maybe the last one, too.

Anneka said...

So Jeremy read this one out loud to me. I laughed. But then the best part was when Marissa came in from the other room and asked, "Why did you just say, 'Prick your boobs'?" How were we supposed to explain that one? Ha, ha, ha!

)en said...

HAhaha! Ohhhh i would HATE to prick my boobs. *cringe*

Sam Scoresby said...

Tell Sean he doesn't understand the depth of swimming. I'm offended.