Thursday, November 21, 2019

)en vs. the Law

Well, I got a speeding ticket the other day.  It's funny because I super was speeding and had nothing to say for myself. Also, I was speeding going UP a hill, which was pointed out to me with a look of grave concern by the police officer.  I tried really hard to be like, "whaaaat? How did that happen?" like I had no idea, but it was difficult.  Maybe I could have said something like, "I was just trying to get up the hill?" Also funny because once upon a time at age sixteen, I failed my drivers test the first time.  Why? Speeding.  Where? That very same hill.  Except then, I was going down the hill, which makes more sense, particularly to that bewildered officer.  Anyway, it was a special moment between me and the hill, together again.  Also, it was my first ever speeding ticket!  So a special day indeed. I thought back to the other two times I've been stopped for speeding but weaseled my way out of a ticket. I couldn't even muster up the energy this time, especially since I'm a lot older and-- again, super was speeding.

Julian was delighted in this new bit of info, of course.  He was interested in my having to go to court which will not be happening, sorry to disappoint. But, days later, Julian popped in and the following convo took place.  I was amused, mostly because he had such sincerity in his tone.  But then I was a little concerned because a) he's ten, and not totally clueless to how the world works.   Does he really think it's a possibility I'd go to jail for this? and b) I'm not at all sure how upset he'd be if I really did have to go to jail and c) I think he might think it reasonable/excusable to break out of prison.  He kept telling me to just drive to Montana to get away. So, lots of good lessons have been learned, I see.

Here we go:

JULIAN:  Mom, if you do go to jail... and I'm not saying you will, but you never know...
JEN: You never know...
JULIAN:  If you do, don't worry, Dad and I will bake you a cake with a saw so you can escape.
JEN: Oh, thank you. I'll look out for that.
JULIAN: Again, not that you will-- you probably won't.
JEN: --But you never know.
JULIAN: you never know. 

Like, he was honestly trying to reassure me.  "you probably won't... don't worry."

And that's that.


Joel said...

There is so much goodness here, and I love the symmetry of it being the same hill.

I failed my driving test the first time because I didn't come to a complete stop at the red light leaving the school before turning right. Then the guy had everyone else do their test, which took us to his house for some reason. He told me to get back in the driver's seat and disappeared inside for a while. So I sat there sweating (literally and figuratively, because it was a summer class) and then he let me drive us back and passed me.

)en said...

Ha! Let us collect driving test stories. Also-- you failed for that??Having you drive to his house! So weird. Speaking of inappropriate-- The first time I had one other student with me. The second time it was early, raining, and just me and the instructor. Ummm. That can't be ok. Also he was in a terrible mood and the rain was seriously torrential. Since it was early and stressful, we were both mad at each other. It was super weird. I'm sure I did worse the second time. But he passed me, probably because he never wanted to see me again. LIKEWISE.