Monday, January 12, 2015

Typical January

Early this morning I had a whole string of delightful dreams, like I was playing this really weird instrument that no one else knew how to play. It was sort of a piano-that-wasn't-really-a-piano and it had been sitting in this family's old house for centuries until finally, one day, I came along and solved the mystery. I began to play it and the sound was so beautiful, people were actually weeping and hugging each other and it was glorious.  I'm pretty sure a famous person was involved but dang if I can't remember who it was. Someone good though. It was probably Stanley Tucci, as he seems to insist on showing up in my dreams. And, suddenly I'm reminded of this dream and am seeing a startling pattern here.

Another one was that i found a secret and seemingly limitless gummy bear dispenser in my own house and they were the best gummy bears you've ever tasted and I was like, I've struck GOLD!

And then I woke up with a back ache and a sick kid who puked while I was dropping off the kindergarten snacks for the week in the slushiest, grossest rain you can imagine.  It could be snain (snow + rain) or snush (snow + slush) but since it was rain on top of existing snow,  i guess this time it was slain.

It's so sad to sit with him while his guts have turned on him. I am desperate to distract him so first I start with puking tales of my own. "This one time..." And then the pain increases and it gets more and more urgent and I find myself frantically grabbing any and every book in sight from which to read something, anything interesting. "Here, listen to this! The housefly tastes with its FEET which are 10,000,000 times more sensitive than the human tongue!"  Since he threw up 30 seconds later, I consider it a success that he paused mid-groan with eyes closed to say, "wow, tastes with its feet?"   Poor thing.

And then it came time to carefully select a sick movie. It had to be done with care because I didn't want him to make some sad association of being sick with the movie, thereby tainting the movie forever.  But I wanted to watch something really cheery that might ultimately win over the pukes. At one point I spotted The Dark Crystal but, unsure he was ready, hit play to only test the waters. Sure enough, he wasn't quite there yet and I wasn't going to force it. All in good time with that one. All in good time.

So I chose Honey, I Shrunk the Kids and I believe we were successful. It was perfect, kind of like how Jurassic Park is my best [sick] movie.  And man, that movie really holds up.  Kids the size of bugs? Eating a giant oreo? Sleeping in a lego? Stuff of dreams. And now my stomach is churning and spinning but so far I'm ok and you know, the day could really be much worse.


Ashley said...

Well, those dreams were pretty cool, but they don't quite match the caliber of the wondrous dream I had last night (for good or bad). I dreamed (is it dreamed or dreamt?) that I went up the canyon to explore the snowy wonderland, only to happen upon a huge lodge that was filled with people taking nature classes. I sat in on a bird watching class that was RIVETING. The room was packed, and everyone was loving it. Then as we got up to leave, two guys from the class were walking down the aisles, and one was handing out cash to everyone for coming. He handed me a one dollar bill and then came back and dropped a five on my desk and said his friend thought I was cute. Score!

P.S. Sorry about the pukes. Not sorry about "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids." It's gold.

)en said...

Whoa! That is a winner, and I bet that class WAS riveting. And I'm really supporting the idea of giving money to people you're interested in, or hit on, or whatever. It's just a nice touch. And can't hurt, amiright