Sunday, June 27, 2010

Things I'm Going to Miss

I'm not moving from Brooklyn. But I will one day. And sometimes I stop and think, you know, I'm going to miss this or that. Things that i wouldn't normally notice or normally have on my list of loves about the city. But they'll probably be things that, upon reminiscence, will cause the most poignant pang of all the pangs I'm sure to feel.

I'm making a list today, now. Starting one. And i'll add to it here and there over a certain span of time (it's got to be published some time). I'll do this so I have it recorded in my log, these things on my list of loves, that I can look back on and say to myself, aahhh yes. It's true. And also so that it will keep my eyes & ears open for those things I don't notice but have embedded themselves into my soul, have infused into my DNA. May I pay better attention to the things all around me that I take for granted. I feel that if I do this, it will better prepare me for the inevitable departure, and be a cathartic experience so I don't cry quite as hard into my pillow every night.

1. The tall skinny man who sits on the gross red-painted stoop at the end of the block. He's black, super tall and thin, and I think lives in a building for old people. He's scruffy, his clothes are maybe ragged, he smokes, and his eyes sparkle. He is so cool. I like him instantly, I always did. And due to my hardened exterior, I never said a word to him until lately. One day as we passed he said, "beautiful blue eyes." Let's be honest, sometimes the quickest way to our hearts is a compliment to our babies. But now i smile and say hi to him and he does it back and I like him and I'm going to miss him.

2. The giant man with club feet. I see him every once in a while. He's super tall and very round. He wears mega-thick round glasses and wears shorts pulled up very high on his belly. Like a giant nerd. And he wears special shoes. Huge, black, brick shoes. And I love him. I will miss him. Sniff.

3. The subway. I already miss it. I ride it severely less often since the birth of the babe, and when I do get to ride it, I honestly have to restrain myself from jumping up and hugging all of the people there. There's a feeling of the subway, a world, a dimension all its own. I've known this. But I MISS IT. Painfully so. I miss the dirt, i miss the smells. I miss the crazies and the mariachi bands and the kids selling candy and the ladies reading romance novels with no shame whatsoever. Ohhhh it hurts, it hurrrrts.

4. The stone sidewalks. I actually noticed these when I first moved here, but over the years haven't thought much about them. But when I find myself in a new land, walking on cement, I will miss the stone.


No comments: