The other morning I woke up to the glorious sound of an epiphany.
"Sean," I said, my voice hushed. "I want to make ding dongs."
Every moment proceeding that, I was obsessed with the idea. I loved Hostess Ding Dongs when i was small but knew, now, they were disgusting. The only way I could bring them back to my life is if we made them in our own way, on our own terms.
I described my idea to a skeptical or indifferent Sean. Or maybe he was just still asleep.
"We'll just make a really good chocolate cake and cut out little cakes, see. And then use our frosting pumper thing to pump something creamy inside. Then you'll make your famous chocolate ganache and we'll drown it and then chill it so it'll harden. It will work. It has to work!"
Sean became motivated, especially since it required meticulous things, his forte. And Sunday night we made my dream a reality. Here are the pictures and steps, and i want you to know that although it looks like all i did was take pictures, we took turns doing each task. I am not completely incompetent.
1. Make a cake. Cut shapes out of the cake using something. We had a biscuit cutter. It worked quite well. You could even use cookie cutters and make craaazy ding dongs.
2. Look at your shapes. Evaluate them. Make tiny ones and remark how cute and adorable they are. Call them by a different name, perhaps Dingalings. Just kidding, i just made that up. Please ignore.
3. Using a frosting piping tool, pump in some filling of some kind. Support the ding dong with your hands. Stop when it starts to ooze out the other side or in some way explode. All we had on hand was some vanilla pudding. It worked well. You could also use whipped cream, whipped cream AND pudding, or other.
4. Put mini-cakes in the fridge or freezer for a while.
5. Make some ganache out of whatever chocolate you have. We try to keep a nice dark Lindt bar on hand for sudden ganache needs. Or you could use chocolate chips. Melt chocolate in a double boiler. Stir in some milk until it's nice and glossy. Taste it. Make sure it's good.
6. After some time, pull out the cakes. Frost them with the ganache using a knife or something else. Make them look pretty. Admire your work. Comment constantly on how perfect they are and how they actually look like Ding Dongs but fancy. Praise self for coming up with such ingenuity. (or me, praise me.)
7. Make a video. Force spouse to allow you to post it on your blog. Convince him people will like it and not think ill of him.
8. Refrigerate or freeze ding dongs for a bit, until chocolate sets.
9. Wrap them individually in tin foil.
10. Best to keep them chilled in the refrigerator until partaking.
11. Bask in their beauty and amazingness when you take a bite. Notice the filling and love it.
12. Cheer in delight at a successful mission accomplished and a dream come true. Never lose love for the ding dong.