Wednesday, April 08, 2009

One Weird Jen

"Just one thing, Jen." Growing up, those words were often said to us kids (they went by "Jen" too.. i guess) when we were allowed to get ourselves a treat of some kind. I was a very obedient child and took this rule very literally. Thus, when we would visit my grandparents' house which was located directly across the street from a drug store (dream of dreams!) we were given money and allowed to go get ourselves ONE THING. I usually would return with a bag of skittles or something--the giant ONE POUND bag of skittles. Hey, it's one thing. My parents could not disagree. And i'd gorge myself on skittles. I uh.. liked candy as a child.

Similiarly sort of, I always liked to get the "weird thing" of the bunch. Something that was different. I guess this is still true today. I love deformed fruits and vegetables. I guess I see myself in them, in a way. I don't really consider myself deformed though... but maybe I should.

Along with candy, I love donuts. I LOVE THEM. But I never eat them except for when I visit my family in Utah. But oh how i love them. When I was young I went on a trip with my parents and sisters to Europe and we'd visit pastry shops galore. I recall getting "one thing" at a pastry shop--a giant covered wagon wheel-sized round danish of some kind. Seriously, this thing was the size of my face. hmm, my face? Dang, don't you hate it when your "hyperbole" isn't hyperbole at all? Fail. (For some reason I like to think i can't go back and change the things i write in posts. I do sometimes, but sometimes i set a somewhat subconcious rule that I can't. Hence my ramblings and commentary on my own writing.)

I recently visited Utah and got donuts FOUR separate times. Good NIGHT. 2 times at the grocery store and 2 at the Lehi Bakery which you should really visit today. They really do have the best glazed donuts ever tasted by man. A fond memory I have of Lehi Bakery is when my mom would take us little kids to the Lehi pool where we'd buy the long slim jolly rancher candies and swim all day for many hours. Then on the way home we'd stop at Lehi Bakery, be allowed to get ONE thing and I'd look for something weird. My favorite was the foot-shaped donut. I told this to Sean and he said, "like a bear claw?" "No, like a foot, a human foot" which seemed to gross him out for reasons i can't fathom. And we'd take our donuts and eat them while sitting on our wet towels in the big blue suburban on the drive home. On both visits to Lehi Bakery this time around, I asked if they had foot donuts (actually, the first time my mom asked because she = the best) but no they had not. I wasn't going to say anything about it the second time except some kids came in and one of them mentioned it and i was like, "I love them TOO!" but they were out. I tried to use that as proof to Sean that they a) existed and b) were awesome but he just smiled and mumbled something about it being awesome... if you're four. Hush. He doesn't understand. It's a donut in the shape of a FOOT.

I miss those days. Long live the donut and the weird things of the world.


Joel said...

Ah, donuts. Forget the automobile, the internet, and all that. The donut truly is the most inspired invention of man.

Oh, and once at a Macey's I got a "Texas donut" that was the size of a toilet seat. It was awesome.

Lianna said...

What I think is WEIRD is that you and Ashley both wrote posts with "weird" in the title this week.

)en said...

that is weird. what's even weirder is i have a post i've been working on for days that also includes the word "weird" that is even more similar to Ash's. I can't post it now though because she'll accuse me of copying her, i just know it.

donut the size of a toilet seat.. somehow, as cool as i know that should sound.. can't get a toilet out of my head. :P :)

Joel said...

I confess that the somewhat nauseating juxtaposition was deliberate, because it's funnier that way.

Kim said...

I love that when I say "I'm just going to pick up a little something for lunch" the "little something" is often a Big Gulp and a Kit-Kat.

Also love that before I even finished reading this post, I was googling "Lehi Bakery" and salivating.

)en said...

ah. good one then, joel.

i think the kit-kat negates the bigness of the big gulp.. kit--as in kitten. small. ew, now i'm picturing a kitten candy bar, which, in a way, is i guess what "Kit-Kat" implies. I like how i just suddenly decided to capitalize words there. i'm totally unpredictable.

Please go visit the bakery and eat 4 glazed donuts one right after the other in honor of me. Also their cakey donut is kind of to die.