Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Sean Quotes Unplugged

Sean says funny things ALL the time. He's one of those people who are quiet, sit to the side, and are so totally hilarious, you feel so lucky and even blessed to have been close enough to have heard their little quips. And he's quite articulate so it's all just perfect. Perfect timing... perfect words. I love it. And, after he makes his funny remark, he sits there calmly with a straight face while you are rolling on the floor having a laughing hernia.

Another aspect of Sean quotes is that he sugar coats nothing when it comes to his opinion of something, specifically art, design, or aesthetics. He isn't mean, he just has super strong opinions and doesn't hold back. It makes me laugh how seemingly harsh and direct he is about it. I think part of why it's so funny is the stark contrast to his calm, steady nature, (and voice) and these occasional strong outbursts with such intense feelings behind them. They just make me laugh.

Sean works at a fast-paced framing gallery o' insanity and, among a billion other things, he basically provides the oil in people's joints. When people come to him on the verge of completely freaking out and having a breakdown, he's able to calm them down even though he has more cause to have regular freak outs of his own. He once told me that people often remark to him how calm and soothing his voice is, and how can he keep his cool in such insanity? but he objects to this idea, saying "It's not that I'm calm, I'm just monotone." Brahaha. But he does have a calm nature.

I have been keeping a log in my gmail drafts called "art quotes, etc" where I put Sean's funny quotes about art and whatnot. I've been saving them for a long time. I think I'll let you read some and I hope you enjoy.

a dialogue.

The scene: Sean and I are walking outside. We pass a car.

JEN: "That's a cute sporty car..."

SEAN blurts: "Yeah, they SUCK! It's like, undrivable."


Another scene: Sean and Jen are taking a nice walk near home. The mood and conversation is pleasant. They come to a building structure that is in the process of being built, something Sean is always interested in, particularly in our neighborhood, and he stops short to observe...

"They're going to sheath this building in bullcrap! I HATE that. Look at it, it's like...aluminum and ugly glass??"


Referring to a particular artist:

"This guy is a complete waste of time. Some artists should just be put to sleep."


At Sotheby's:

"I'm so, insanely bored by insignificant paintings. Really, it's like I'd rather look at the carpet."


At the Museum of Modern Art, and approaching some Braque artwork:

"This is where cubism gets so boring, you'll fall asleep while you're walking up to look at it."


Busy making a frame, Sean yells from the other room:

"The Chinese were right, Jen!"


"I decided to saw Chinese style and it's way better!"


Referring to an art submission in a magazine:

"It has nothing to do with vision and it's insulting to look at."


"I think it's really funny when the really ugly paintings have this message by them saying they can't be reproduced, and it's like, no one was standing in line to do this..."



"It's good to take a photo and make it just a little bit strange and uncomfortable, and call it an illustration."


Ahhh funny stuff.

As a special tribute, here is a photo of a quesadilla i made yesterday that totally looks like Sean. See the glasses? I call it Seanadilla. Happy birthday, Spouse.


Ashley said...

What an excellent compilation. Sean makes me laugh. I'm glad we'll get to hang out in a few weeks.

Happy Birthday, Sean!

Joel said...

I have never met you, Sean, and possibly never will, so I'm not going to buy you a present. But I will wish you a happy birthday, because wishes are free.

)en said...

On behalf of the birthday boy, I thank you for your well wishes. It was a wonderful day indeed. ANd Ash, at first i thought you said "what an excellent companion" and i was like, nerd alert! :)

Ashley said...

Nerd alert... pssshh... Even if I had said "What an excellent companion" (ha ha), it wouldn't be as nerdy as you. Might I direct you to your previous post?

Lindsey said...

I'm glad you've compiled these. Loved it! Thanks for sharing. Happy bday, Sean!

linsey said...

happy late birthday sean. however, that quesadilla is a special gift to all of us. jen, maybe you can teach a special enrichment night on mexican-food-likenesses?

Brooke said...

I know I'm late commenting on this one, but happy b-day Sean! Truly, a level-headed and hilarious fellow you are.

(Um, I also read Ash's comment as "excellent companion." What is the matter with us, Jen?)

)en said...

ha ha. It would be my dream and an honor to teach mexican-food likenesses. I am an expert. Why wasn't that on the checklist??

yeah, brooke, i don't know. But Ash, I wasn't calling you a REAL nerd, but almost did when i thought that's what it said. And let me remind you, i sounded my own geek alert in the previous post, so i fully acknowledge that. Plus, nerdy and geeky are 2different things.

the end.

KamilahNYC said...

now those quotes had me laughing outloud at work. so hiliarous. Happy birthday, 2 months later.