Thursday, June 05, 2008

Triple Threat

This morning I used a shampoo that claimed to be a "triple threat shampoo!" and listed 3 reasons why. First, let me just say that it was absolutely right. This shampoo has some magical ingredient that makes my scalp all nice and cool like I stuck my head in the freezer on a hot day. But after a while I started to become a little jealous of my shampoo. Why can't I be a triple threat? I want to be a triple threat. What would be my threats?

1- I threaten all who come in contact with me with a large dose of cool. Not the shampoo kind of cool, but the kind as in, I am awesome and fun and you may wish to be just like me and that would be ok because JOIN THE CLUB.

2- I threaten you with weirdness. I am weird. An "odd duck," shall we say. People claim to be weird like it's the cool hip new thing, but no, I really am, and have been since the 8th grade, possibly before. And I can be a bit random at times. p.s. If i'm always random, does that make me random? If it's constant, how can it be random? randomness. what am i talking about.

3- You will be exposed to a large amount of nerdiness. Or geekiness, i should say. (the debate about how to differentiate is a topic for another day) I take great pleasure in sci-fi and fantasy and childish things. Not that those are childish, but for instance, I am desperate to own a super cool kite and this is at the top of my list of priorities. I love the simple/childish things of life, and if I haven't grown out of them by now, chances are good I never will. Maybe geeky & childish are two different things but I don't care.

All of these things are things I consider to be in my favor. Ok, with number one i am obviously kidding. I may not be as cool as I think i am or wish to be, but I make up for it with a fair amount of sarcasm. And some people, i won't say who, but their name rhymes with FLAN, think that #3 negates #1 but I think they go hand-in-hand quite NICELY.

Anyway, so what are three things that make you a triple threat? In other words, give me three things that make you great. If you can't, or refuse to do it, I shall assume that you consider a bottle of shampoo to be better than you.


Natalie R. said...

My triple threat: 1. I can sing every word in Phantom of the Opera. 2. I can write smaller than anyone else I know. 3. I can make some dang good milkshakes if I have the right blender.

P.S. Have you ever seen Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead? You would love it. Your randomness comment reminded me of my favorite line: "[Hamlet]'s stark-raving sane!"

)en said...


(no, i have not seen that.)

Joel said...

1. Sarcasm
2. Simpsons quotes
3. Doing things with my feet

)en said...

Just thought you'd all like to know that I am dumb and don't know how to read. I took a shower today and looked at the shampoo bottle again. Tripe TREAT it said. So... yeah. Good thing this was a lame post anyway. But i still like the idea of being a triple threat, and thanks for telling me yours. Joel, what can you do with your feet? I'm intrigued. Do you have finger toes or something?

)en said...

Waaagh! that is a great typo. Tripe treat. Ha ha. Isn't tripe like cow stomach or something? Mmm, what a tasty treat.