Friday, February 04, 2022

Julian Quotes Age 12.4

 I have so many quotes all around my house, I don't even know how to keep track. When we sell this place, new owners are going to be finding stray post-its in the weirdest places and be like, who is this Julian person and what's the matter with him? JK he's the best.  As evidenced by some of these few stray quotes I found on my phone:


"Kids my age aren't really all that concerned with citing their sources when they tell jokes.  One kid came up to us and said, 'hey, you wanna hear a joke I made up?' And we said sure and he said it and [name of friend] was like, 'that's from Calvin and Hobbes!' And the kid ran off, embarrassed."


"I remember when you got me my first Calvin and Hobbes book.  Happiest day of my life. It was when we were in New York and it was the Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat.  I read it, 'homi-di-cal peese-cho' for years."  

Julian once told me, out of the blue (of course), that if we booted him out of the house,

"I'd eventually go to Memphis... and from there, Oxford."   


I desperately tried to get him to explain but he didn't have much else to say about it. Kinda want to try kicking him out just to find out..? 


"I've decided I'm going to first live in an apartment when I'm an adult.  And then I'll probably check things out and get a house."
"Will you buy it or rent it?"
"That depends. On where I'm at in my life and how much it costs.  Then I'll decide whether it's for rent or for keeps."

I die at these examples of teetering between childhood and adulthood.  He's thinking about grown-up things in pretty grown-up ways and then he ends it by saying, "for keeps."  And I just die. 


Julian often tries to be "bad" and often that sort of backfires or just comes out adorable in his innocence and ignorance. On a walk in some woods: 

"If you're lucky, you can find some marijuana bottles."  

And on that same walk:

"If that guy falls in this water, he's going to get e-coli in the brain."

Combining brain-eating amoebas and something else.  I think I've freaked him out re: some thoughts I shared about swimming in fresh water.

And further along on the walk:

"This is the right way according to me."   

Of course. This reminds me of the time in high school when I was out with friends and said, "Well, to me I'm normal" and one of them laughed way too hard. 


"From my own logic, I've learned..."  (something about the Wii) 

 I think these were all from that walk, actually. A fruitful outing. 



"I wish Star Wars were a little more realistic.  Because even if you travel in light speed, it'd still take you a lifetime to get there."

"How do you know?"

"Because Dad told me. And I know stuff."


And then Sean muttered something about "time distortion" and "Interstellar" while eating his salad nearby.

The End.


Alanna said...

This made me think of Arrested Development and George Michael saying, "I was going to roll it up and smoke it. Like a cigarette." Marijuana bottles-- ha!

)en said...