Tuesday, December 17, 2019


I feel like I started a list like this a long time ago but then it was like, "I'm so old, I'm like an old lady, I swear! ha ha ha" when I was 28.  And now I'm THIRTY-NINE and it's legit (fast-forward to ten, twenty, thirty years from now for repeats of this event).   Whatever. I'm dealing with it.  It's not easy but I'm dealing.  One way I'm dealing is to make a list of foods I used to not like and do now, foods that are decidedly old people foods. Probably half because our palettes change over time and half because so do our bodies and their ability to tolerate certain foods.  The list grows shorter or just wildly specific.   I've got a lot of them and somehow this seems an important thing to record:

1. Seltzer water.  Love it.  It's the fun of soda without the death of sugar. It's sometimes worth it, but I don't want to drink my calories, generally. I will say, however, there are moments when I'm like, why do I feel so agitated? Oh it's because I need to eat something I LIKE.  And out comes the sparkling cider whatever bottle from the basement.  And it's often just the ticket.

2. Ginger.  I was on a huuuuge ginger kick last year. Whenever I love something I love it hard so that I kind of OD on it.  Which I did with ginger.  So I'm taking a break.  But for a while it was lemon ginger tea, ginger chews, chocolate-covered ginger bits. I still love it, just not so regularly these days.

3. BLACK LICORICE.  I know! I knew it would happen one day.   I think a seed was planted about six or so years ago when I went to the Scandinavian museum with my Scandinavian friend who showed me the ways of legit, salted Finish licorice, and I was like, "Ohhh..."  Also I really want to be Scandinavian. I went to a movie once with a friend who brought a bag of assorted licorice (black, red, rope, non-rope) and we had a silent battle about it. Anyway, it happens that now, a tiny nibble of a Good 'n Plenty is not the worst thing. It almost feels more healthful for me, in a way. "Well, but it was black."  That childhood original association of gross things = good for you.

4.  I saw some video about a parent tax on kids' Halloween candy and I reflected on how none of it even tempts me.  I'll have your Mounds or a York Peppermint Patty but only if you don't want it. Otherwise, no thank you.  Except a few weeks ago we were driving home from somewhere far and we stopped in a gas station and I was like, "get all the candy bars!"  We got oldschool stuff like Caramellos and Sprees and it was pretty fun, and then a little bit gross.  But it was fun to debate about chewy sprees vs. regular, chewy being the obvious winner, of course.  I still do like candy, I confess, but I just can't eat it. When I was in Jr. High I used to eat a pack of skittles a day. This may or may not have been a factor contributing to my current blood sugar situation.

5. Butterscotch.  But I've always loved that. I'm hoping I've just mostly always been old. "That Jen.. she's an old soul," all my friends say, in my mind.

6. Rye bread.  It's delicious.  I discovered it earlier this year and was like, what is this rich, flavorful BREAD I'm eating? So good. And then I went to lunch with my mom and aunt who both ordered a reuben sandwich (which is on rye bread) and I was like, mm, looks delicious. 

7. Grape Nuts.  This is the weirdest cereal.  What the he-- is a grape nut?  No one knows. But they were disgusting tooth-breaking cereal pebbles that you could apparently consume and digest. They also had Grape Nut Flakes which were kind of delicious and much more palatable.   I saw the nuts, though, a while back after a very long time of seeing them and I said to myself, I wonder... 

I had a hunch I'd like them now.  I bought a 10-lbx box home and visions of my parents eating them immediately appeared in my mind, to them pouring a small bowl (a small bowl will sustain you for three days), then they'd pour in the milk to cover the whole cereal which is ordinarily a very serious milk:cereal ratio faux pas, then leave it sitting on the counter for who knows how long. Hours. I'm not sure I ever saw them actually eat it because life had continued on by then.  So this time I did the same and let those tiny rocks soak.  When they were deemed somewhat chewable and almost ALL the milk absorbed, I added some honey and fruit on top and guess what, I was right: Delicious.  And it was plenty sweet without the honey.   Also it's sort of fun to make yourself wait for the goodness, as an old person would say.


1 comment:

Joel said...

Fun fact: grape nuts are a physics lab stand-in for neutron star material because they're so dense.

I've thought a little bit along these lines of late. I love pretty much all these foods, but I never liked carbonation. I like my soda nice and flat. I stick with diet these days so as not to drink my calories. But I need my caffeine, with my schedule.

*drops over dead*

And that's why I opted for the big life insurance policy.