Friday, December 14, 2018

Conversational Errands

Today I'm going to blog about some hodgepodge interactions I've had recently that amuse me to varying degrees. 

In no particular order:

1. I was chatting with friends about our fear of buying red meat at the grocery store because we're idiots and never know what to get and it's always different from what the recipe calls for.   Every year my family has a big Christmas dinner and this year I thought it would be fun to bring a big Christmas roast.  I often find myself scrolling through recipes I know I'll NEVER make.  But I found one and was like, "hey, Sean, wouldn't it be fun to bring a big ol' Christmas roast that people can slice as they go down the buffet table?"  He agreed and then I said, "good, because I found a recipe, so here you go."   I feel a little lame about being so lame in the kitchen but then we reminded me that I am most often the one getting the supplies at the store and it's definitely me doing my fair share because a) it's the worst and b) I don't know things.  I have no instinct so if the thing isn't exact, I'm hopeless.  This is exactly how I am with cooking actually, and why I prefer baking.  Baking tells me EXACTLY what i should do, at exactly which temperature, etc.  Cooking is like, "whatever you want!" and I just can't.

So I found the big roasts but none were exactly as the recipe said and nowhere near as large as 14 lbs.  I even weighed one in the produce scale because there was no weight to be found anywhere on the packaging and it said 5 lbs. What?  Anyway, whatever. I grabbed two and hurried out of there because I'm pretty sure weighing raw meat in the produce might be frowned upon.

Also I went to the fish guy to get some salmon and asked if he might know where the powdered mushroom packets would be.  He had no idea so he got on his walkie talkie and asked someone as I double checked my list and it said "dried porcini mushroom packet," not powder, and I had to be like, "wait, not powdered! DRIED.  What was i thinking?? I saw those over there. Nevermind! ABORT" and he had to say "nevermind" on his walkie talkie and it was super awkward and funny. (in my defense, later Sean told me the dried porcinis would be made into a powder, so i'm not completely insane. But this speaks to my complete lack of knowledge. Is mushroom powder even a thing?? I would never know. Except now I do.)

2.  Also at Harmon's (that same day), the checkout girl asked if i'd like curbside pickup. Since it was snowy and gross and because i wanted it, I said yes i would.  She went to write my name on the post-it and said, "It's Jenny, right?" (she had scanned my card so my name was visible) I paused for a split second and then said, "yup."  And for the first time in my life, I became Jenny.  And the conversation that followed-- "Thanks, Jenny! have a good day, Jenny."   then outside when the boy went to load my car:  "... are you Jenny?"  "yup" --was surreal. 

3. I'm getting pretty tired of Trader Joe's employees asking me about my big weekend/Christmas/day plans.  I used to enjoy it but now I'm too tired and guess what, i'm not doing anything, and I hardly even have my wits about me to think of an answer.  So I usually say something like, "Shopping at Trader Joe's! Doesn't get any bigger than that, amiright."  But often they press for more information, like "no seriously..." Like, they won't accept that as an answer and need details: Names, places, times, etc.  And I'm just like, "back off, man."  It makes me feel seriously interrogated and I just didn't sign up for that.  So there's a chattiness balance.  Let's find it.

4. I came home from errands just now and went to the office to ask Sean a question.  The door was locked which sometimes happens when he's on an important call and can't be interrupted.  But not so much anymore, since Julian is older and less prone to burst in loudly. Also, since the kid is at school, I can't help but wonder what Sean thinks I'm going to do-- "GUESS WHAT YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE IT BLAAHHHH!"  (that's me being noisy and disruptive as I burst in, obv).  

Actually, I could see that happening.  Well,  I texted him:
JEN: I like when the door's locked. Makes me feel like a child. {tongue sticking out emoji}

SEAN: I heard noises and got scared, so I'M the child.

JEN: hahaha! So instead of checking it out, you locked the door??

SEAN: Well no, I did check it out but there was nothing there.

JEN: Locking the door won't keep out the ghosts, Sean.

SEAN: I just feel weird having my back to the door.


And there you have it.  This blog post is a reminder to me and example that anything can be something, if you just write it down and work it a bit.   As the late, great Nora Ephron said, "Everything is copy." 

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