Thursday, April 05, 2018

Miss Communication

Every once in a while I hop onto Bored Panda and see what there is with which to entertain myself.  My favorite things are real stories from real people. Some are embarrassing moments, some are photos of heartwarming gestures of kindness, some are passive aggressive notes. Or photos of cats proving they're actually liquid (click). 

I love it all.    Recently I was scrolling through funny stories from the work place (click here) and I screen captured one in particular because I loved it so much and will now relay to you here. A submitter describes:

I used to work as a photographer in a studio next to an opticians office.  I once managed to have a long conversation with an older man looking for glasses, without either of us realizing he was in the wrong place.

HIM: Hi, I'm Mr. [McFakenamington], here for my appointment.
ME: Huh, that's odd...I don't see you on our schedule.  I have time for a walk-in though, just fill in this paperwork.

We have a little chat about possible clerical errors that could lead to a missing appointment as he's filling in his paper.  I chalk it up to human error and tell him we can get started in a few minutes anyway. 

HIM (after a brief silence): So about how long do these appointments take?
ME: Well, generally it takes 1 to 2 hours for the whole process. Really depends on the person.
HIM: Wow, that's a long time...
ME: Well, if it's just you it shouldn't take so long.  The long appointments tend to be families with children.  The most time consuming thing is picking out the ones you like.
HIM: And after I've chosen, do you make them here? When can I pick them up?
ME: We send out your order to our lab and it comes back here in a week or two.
HIM (looking around): Do you have frames I can look at?
ME: Not really. We've got some pre-framed products but generally customers buy their own frames from somewhere else.
HIM: That's ridiculous! How could you not sell frames here?!
ME: Well...there are some in [adjacent department store] if you don't have any around the house. Frames are really not so hard to come by. I mean, you can even get them at [nearby pharmacy].
HIM: But you'd at least set up the frames for me, right?
ME: Sorry, no...but for most frames it's pretty straightforward.  Usually it's just a couple simple latches in the back.  I can't imagine i'd be better at it than you, or anyone else for that matter.
HIM: I don't even get to try anything on today? How will I know how it looks? How do you get the size right for the frames if I don't have them?
ME:  I'm sorry sir, I really don't follow.
HIM (practically yelling): So you just want me to buy glasses I've never seen for frames I don't have, and I have to frame them myself?!?

At this point it dawns on me.  I explain that I'm a photographer, point to the photos hanging up around the studio.  I tell him that optical is next door. He looks sheepish, and I walk out with him to make sure he gets to the right place.  

This entire conversation occurred while I was under a sign that said "Portrait Studio" in a room filled with photos of families.  I guess the poor guy really needed those glasses.

Ha ha ha ha ha! Isn't it amazing? All of the overlaps? Frames? "you can even find some at the pharmacy," --which is true! {giant, closed eyes smile}  It reminds me of a little miscommunication of my own that still makes me laugh when i think back on it.

The scene: A movie theater, during the college days. It was me and my sister, Ashley. The movie was Four Feathers.  All I really remember about this movie is it was a war movie(?) and sort of band of brothers-y. Pretty cheesy film, over-the-top. The movie had just ended and we were chatting as the lights came on and people started exiting the theater. Dialogue goes something like this:

SIS: So what did you think?

ME: I dunno, it was ok. Pretty epic.

SIS: Yeah, I think the director was Oscar Hungry.

ME: Who is that?

SIS: You know, he was Oscar Hungry. 

ME: You say that like I'm supposed to know what it means. I don't know who that is. What other movies has he done? 
 This ordinarily wouldn't have lasted as long as it, I don't think, did but it was noisy and we couldn't hear each other well, there was the commotion of everyone filing out, and we were distracted.  So amid the distraction, we continued to try to have this conversation, each becoming more and more confused, and I more frustrated.


SIS (stares): Oscar-hungry. He's hungry...for an OSCAR!!

ha ha ha! Oh man. Yeah. It took me way too long.  Such a good one, though. Things like this are my very favorite.  And every once in a while Oscar Hungry pops up and we scoff at his lame attempts to make a decent film.


Joel said...

Is Oscar Hungry related to the Hungry Hungry Hippos?

)en said...

Distantly, very distantly.