Tuesday, August 18, 2015


Happy be the day that Julian Rex was born. The blaring of celebratory trumpets was drowned out by the overflow of my own tears and the burbling of my emotions. I held him in my arms and asked myself, who the crap is this kid and how did he get put into my lap? Initially it really felt like, no really, whose baby is this? What just happened? Is this real life?  And in the days following I studied his beautiful dimply face trying desperately to somehow, by sheer will, extract the essence of who the child was and would become and I declare that he has since then, become mine. I claim him, and am now daily deafened by those same sweet trumpets that have been playing his song all along.   He is six. And more of a marvel than ever before.

Who he is, now:

Rememberer of the Forgotten Balloon

He has a knack, an ability, to always look upwards and notice the balloon that escaped. Indoors or out. In the rafters of the grocery store or released into the wild blue sky. 

And his heart goes out to it. He will not forget that balloon. His heart goes out to a lot of things, actually.  

Bathroom Singer  

You'd never hear a happier bathroom-goer in all your life. I don't know if it's who he is or if I trained him to do this since, particularly when he was sort of too big to be in the stall with me but too small to be left alone, I'd make him sing or whistle when I would be using a public toilet to make sure he was nearby. I still do this on occasion. But I don't have to anymore because he is always singing or humming while using the bathroom when we are out. Always. Just cheerfully doing his business. It makes me laugh every time.  

Lover of Simple Pleasures

Julian loves amusement rides. He is a bit of a thrill seeker in that way, but when we're at the mall or someplace with little rides, he never wants to actually ride it. I'll even offer to put in some quarters but he says no thank you, he'd rather just pretend ride them. It's like he has more fun in his mind, something I actually really believe. 

Some quality Julian quotes:

"Know what they call numbers in order? The numberabet." 

In a prayer: "Thank you for tomorrow... that there won't be a missing day in the week."    

What would it be like if suddenly Tuesday didn't happen? *shudder*

Exuberant exclamation while camping down south: 
"AHHH, the glories of rock!" 

 Amen, squirt. Amen. 

Julian has a way with words when comforting others. I was pretty sure I'd hit a bird while driving and felt bad. Julian said, 

"but don't worry, Mom. It's not your fault, it was an accident....so you're not a poacher."     

Whew.  Accidentally becoming a poacher is one of my greatest fears.

 "Mommy, do your ideas change the world?"  

This one made me choke on a grape. I laughed and said, "I'd like to think so."  He expressed some doubt so I said, "I have ideas. And i share them with people I know. And maybe they think about them and share them with people they know. And maybe those people think about them and share them with people THEY know. Until it spreads and spreads until maybe the whole world knows them. And maybe the world will think about them, and they will, in fact, change the world. For good or for evil, i cannot say."

He responded by saying he had ideas of his own that were changing the world, but a different world, on another planet.  When I asked what they were he said they were his secrets. So... alright, then.

Pointing to a smelly candle-- "That's like seasoning, for air." 

Encouragement for the hapless Triceratops: 

"I think I know why they're called a Triceratops.  It's because if they don't succeed, they 'tri, tri' again." 

Julian is a remarkable magician.  He can make anything actually disappear. Using his magic, one second it's there and the other, it's not! He shows me this trick all the time and it NEVER fails.  It's actually quite amazing. The only thing is that I have to shut my eyes and reopen them when he tells me. 

Julian and I have a game called How Dare You? One day he accused me of something atrocious like not loving him when he was a baby and I gasped and exclaimed, "how dare you??"  and he was beyond delighted.  Since then it's become a weird game of ours where we'll say horrible things about each other and the person has to be shocked and say, with great emotion, "how dare you??" I don't really know what it's about but I am glad he lives in a world where the horrible scenarios he uses are just too absurd that they're a game.

Here's one of late but happened a bit more authentically.

JULIAN: Star Wars is better than your mommy show, Star Trek.

JEN: PSHH, how dare you??

I then went on to adamantly explain that BOTH were awesome in different, very specific ways. 

More Quotes
"I wish I had very long hair so I could like, whip it around."  

I tell him it comes at a price, for long hair also means constantly in your face and having to hold it on windy days and when eating, etc.  Basically I cut my hair because I wanted to like a windy day and be, at long last, unencumbered while eating.

This is a kid with big emotions and prone to violent outbursts which I both applaud with pride, and apologize for with reluctant ownership. The following situation illustrates: 

Sean and Julian were on a crappy slide at the playground. Julian hit his head twice.  

JULIAN, upon the first time of hitting his head:
Aaugh, I hate this slide!  

He then backed up and hit his head again.  

"Who made this slide, BAD PEOPLE??"   

SEAN: Kind of, it is a really bad design.



(I've actually forgotten what i was doing with my headings and am now basically emboldening things arbitrarily.) 

I don't think anyone has ever loved me so well, so unconditionally than Julian. If I ever want to learn how to love, I turn to him.   We declare our love for each other on the reg, gesturing special signals and writing love notes back and forth, making passionate declarations at dinner, in the old days on the subway train, and naturally, in our respective stalls in public bathrooms.   I have undoubtedly received dozens of cards now that read "Jen" and "Julian," with a heart, as follows:


Along the way, Julian has connected yellow to being a happy color. For obvious reasons. But I can think of two distinct things that would teach him this. 1) his bright yellow underwear. I am pretty sure I called them his Happy Undies and declared that he can't have a bad day if he's wearing these.  And 2) my yellow scooter.  Because duh. But he says sweet things:

"I want to pour out my heart to you. I want to pour out all the yellow happiness and give it to you." 

I keep asking Julian what he wants to be when he grows up. I don't know why because i think this question is kind of lame but I do it anyway. His repeated and stoic response, even when the question is posed weeks or months apart:

"A pirate policeman." 

Julian always has a soft spot for the bad guy.  Villains are always his favorite character. One day we were playing with Legos and we were teaming up against the bad guy but when we finally got him, Julian made a tomb for him, for when he was a mummy. Now that's respect. 


Here, Julian explains some science using a mere piece of fruit:

Happy happy number six, Beloved. T'is a magical time. 



Original Kos said...

This warmed my heart to the cold core. Julian is a very special little boy. Happy Birthday! Those notes are wow, so cute. I hope I can be as close to my boys!

Ashley said...

Aw, happy birthday to one of my favorite boys ever! This kid continually delights me with his smarts, witticisms, and soft heart. I think you hit on the core of his personality with this line: "His heart goes out to a lot of things, actually." His heart goes out to EVERYTHING! He loves hard, that one.

MelBroek said...

I can relate to Julian (and to you) in that I love things/people/situations so hard. I would say that I love too much, too deeply, too often, but really I don't know if I think that's true. I think all the joy I feel from loving so dramatically is worth the inevitable flipside of that same coin.

(and if things don't work out as a pirate police officer, I think he'd make a great geologist - that apricot video is a gem!)