Thursday, February 20, 2014

Olympic Thoughts

I've been watching a few olympics here and there (what I just said pleases me greatly).  Not all day every day. Not even all night.  But I have had a few thoughts about them that I'd be willing to share. Here they are:

Figure Skating

JEN: Gaah, this is terrible music. Why do people choose frantic music like this? Everyone has crappy music.

Fast, loud, orchestral fanfare-y music plays.

SEAN: Yeah, you're never going to be able to keep up with that. You're just going to look like you're not doing anything.

JEN:  Exactly. Exactly!!!  Where's my computer?

My worst nightmare has come true. Bob Costas is out and Matt Lauer is IN?? What's going to happen now! Everything's going to fall apart! No one will be able to make sense of anything. Everyone will just be bumbling in interviews, crying, confused.   If not everyone, then just Matt.  [I wrote this a while ago but it's still worth mentioning. An olympic first??]

Ice Dancing

The consensus on this olympic event I seem to be gathering is that people are not a fan.  They prefer figure skating.  But I've been watching it a bit here and there and I have to say, I don't see the problem. In fact, I feel like it's more suited to being on skates,  what skating ought to be. For pairs, anyway. You're on ice doing twirls and spins wearing ruffles and sequins. Of course it should be dancing! Also, as far as I know, a term/skill is used in ice dancing that isn't so much in figure skating and it's awesome and wondrous.   I think I am loving living in a world where "twizzle" is used as a technique, an important one, taken very seriously. "Nice twizzles!"  says the commentator. And I'm just beaming.

I also think I love living in a world where there's ice dancing rivalry. That's a sports rivalry I can get behind. Canadians Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir vs. USA's Meryl Davis and Charlie White.

 *loud menacing commentator voice* 

"Two rivals for a decade. WHO'S going to come out on TOP?  Both training under the SAME. COACH. Where does that coach's allegiance LIE?"

Meryl and Charlie took gold yesterday with Tessa and Scott having to settle for silver.  Both skated well but I think Meryl and Charlie pulled it out largely due to their perfect twizzles. To learn more about twizzles, watch this awesome video.

Olympic Suggestion 

Something I am noticing is there needs to be a specific order of the events, particularly when it comes to televising them all to us.  A lot of the events are very similar. Some of them seem to be separated only by a few variables. Perhaps it's snowboring---OMG, best Freudian slip EVER!! Ha HA!  Well what i was going to say was perhaps it's snowboarding with jumps instead of the halfpipe or whatever (I really am not at all sure what all the events are).  And my freudian slip brings me to my next point. I don't even think snowb-o-a-r-ding (wow, why is it so hard for me to type it the real way??) is that boring but compare it to the same event but with skis and skis are way better. The jumps are better, higher, look more complex, and just look cooler.  Sorry, snowboard.  That said, they did it right with this one. Snowboarding came first. I was impressed until i saw the same kinds of events with skis and then i was like, snowwwboorrrriiing. (i have to use that as many times as possible. not only is it a freudian slip, it's word play which I l-o-v-e.)

Here's a real example though:


Everyone loves bobsledding. Who doesn't love bobsledding? Well, when it comes after the bullet speed, death-defying luge and skeleton it's like, what is this enormous, clumsy, rickety old sled-beast? That after the skeleton on the tiny boogie board sled, looks like you're moving in a slow-mo armored car. Compared to the others, it looks a bit lackluster, like we've taken steps back. Slower, less terrifying, unnecessarily safe, boring. The point is, who's choreographing these events for the televised aspect?  What about US, at HOME, on our COUCHES, eating ICE CREAM CONES.   I think I will volunteer for the job.

Those are basically my only olympic thoughts right now (that I'm willing to share).  This weekend we're going on our winter trip to someplace super far and exotic. Stay tuned, unless I don't choose to blog about it. Then stay wondering forever and ever. 


Ashley said...

1. I had nearly the exact same thoughts about the bobsled the other day. It looked way too clumsy and easy after the skeleton, like it was for kids. And you're right. Better programming would fix this, because is probably is cool.

2. Loved your thoughts on ice dancing. The last event I watched (and during which I contemplated whether ice dancing should really be an olympic event), I came to the conclusion that yes it should be because it's awesome. It's probably what ballroom dancers hunger for: the ability to glide effortlessly over the floor, the cool moves sheer speed allows you to do, how graceful everything looks, etc. It makes ballroom dancing seem almost clumsy. It's like one step up from ballroom dancing. In short, it's awesome.

Valerie said...

I can't believe I'm just getting around to commenting on this post now. I attribute it to my lack doing anything for a month straight. Also, I watched a lot of Olympic coverage, which took a lot of time. Which you, clearly, will understand.

Basically, I agree with all your words. Matt Lauer? Really? REALLY? It's laughable that he could fill in for Bob Costas. It's laughable that anyone could, but get someone with just a hint of gravitas, how about?

Oy vey. Can I tell you how sick I was of snowboarding. And really, ALL x-games cross-overs. By the end of watching the ski half pipe I was like, wake me up when we're in Rio. And yeah, it gets so crazy redundant. The only exception is the snowboard cross, which is breakneck and highly erratic and pretty exciting.

Did you catch the luge relay? It was new this year and I freaking loved it. The racers had to hit this pad at the end of the course to allow the next racer to go and it was really exciting. And THAT they showed at like, 10:55. Who's in charge over there, NBC?

Probably Matt Lauer.