Sunday, November 18, 2012


Every once in a while, I attempt a nap.  As i've mentioned before, I have pretty much lost the ability to nap.  I'll doze off, super sleepy, and then enter the weird place that occurs before slumberland.  Not quite through the gates, but just outside, sort of loitering there, clutching the bars saying, "let me in... somebody?"  Always, I'll be halfway through the gate and then something yanks me back out and I depart, awake and wholly unsatisfied.  But time is spent there, this weird place where dreams exist but true sleep doesn't. And i can't go back, not until the next attempt, another time, another day.   I even get to the point of drooling, but never true sleep.  It's frustrating, and weird.
Very often when I'm in this zone of in-between, strange phrases or words will flash across my mind and ring in my ears, and they are so utterly bizarre.  They're like dreams in word form.  I have no idea where they come from.  My conscious mind certainly didn't just bust them out for no reason, so they're coming from somewhere. I think they live in this weird pre-slumberland.   And i remember them. I'm awake enough to roll over and write them down. If i didn't i'd most likely completely forget them, like a dream.  But no dream accompanies them. It's as if someone comes and whispers these words and phrases to me, and walks away. Someone who just escaped the insane asylum. Some strange passerby while I'm begging to cross the threshold. It would be alarming if the words weren't so nonsensical. But they really do feel audible to me. They're very distinct.

Perhaps this is where my genius lies. I'm not sure. Maybe this is where my subconscious and conscious meet and agree to a duel and, though the conscious wins every time, the subconscious gets some good hits here and there.  So i've decided to make a list and show it to you.  These are things I totally can't vouch for.  It's like suddenly waking up and finding a knife in your hand, not knowing how it got there.  So here are my words, (hopefully a little less violent) and, if you would be so kind to tell me what it means.
  • Let's take the easy road, splice it up, and make it into a casserole.
  • It's like challenging the arm of its strength to be able to carry something. 
  • We need to Netflix out of the fashion of things.
  • He must just be a three-legged kind of guy.
  • He risked his shovel because of a terrible gunshot wound


Ashley said...

I'm glad to know someone else out there has risked his shovel too.

These are disturbingly brilliant, btw.

)en said...

They ARE! Six years later and I am impressed and highly disturbed. Wth??