Thursday, April 15, 2010

Your dose of laughter for the week or month

My sister's friend is registered on a networking/singles website. Apparently on this one you can see who's viewed your profile in a reverse stalking sort of way. I guess she viewed this guy's profile and he wrote a message to her. Clearly he is foreign. I think she said he was from Pakistan or something? I can't remember. But take a read and you might want to use the restroom first.

dear hey
yours face shames the slpendour of the moon.yours eyes surface the beauty of the lotus.
yours complexion outshines even the luster of glod. yours thick hair are blacker than the bee.
yours brest make us forget the twin domes on the forehead of an elephant. yours roundedhips and a sweet voice theseare yours natural ornaments.
what can be more beautiful for the lover to looks at, that the faceof the antelope-eyed smling at him with unchecked passion.
the ture object of amorous intercouse is the uniting of the hearts of the two participants in it:
and when this end is not accomplished, the union resenbles merely the contact of the two cropses.
you are like ariver: for the lines of yours body resemble the waves. yoursa breasts represent the duck swimming on the surface.
the bed of the river is dangerous. its the bottomless passion, a blinding driving forces of voluptuosness, becaused i do not wish to be drowned.
thanks for vist my profile

10 comments:

Ashley said...

I LOVE this. Although the multiple and somewhat explicit references to her "natural ornaments" are nice, he had me at "dear hey."

Joel said...

Wow, I just... can't... express the awesomeness.
Words fail me. And yet here I am leaving a comment anyway.

Alanna said...

Geez, no one has ever told me that my complexion outshines the luster of glod. What am I doing wrong? What moisturizers does your sister's friend use??

Andrew said...

What a romantic poem! I assume they ARE getting married then?

Jen said...

ohhh my gosh. so funny.

my favorite is "yours brest make us forget the twin domes on the forehead of an elephant."

I mean... seriously. Like Joel, I am speechless. It's too good.

You really have to read it out loud for the full effect. I think this is my new go-to thing when i need an insta-laugh.

Rob said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Annie said...

I don't know what you're talking about Jen. I just tried to read this out loud, it made me feel shamefully embarrassed. It's too sweet, too intimate, too beautiful, to be spoken aloud.

I agree- "Dear Hey" best line ever. It keeps getting funnier. Bless you for sharing.

Rob said...

Woah woah woah, Why does this guy even need a singles website?

Maybe it's because the bed of the river is dangerous. its the bottomless passion, a blinding driving forces of voluptuosness, becaused "he" do not wish to be drowned.

(sniff) Virtual love is all he can handle.

The Pedersen Posse said...

Reading this almost makes me sad I missed the whole virtual dating experience. Does this guy really think women like to hear about "brests" and "amorous intercourse?" No wonder why he is still single.

Amberbop said...

If she doesn't want him can I have him? I've had a lot of complimentry online interactions, but no one has forgotten the twin domes on the forehead of an elephant for me. Siiiigh...