Friday, November 06, 2009

I am a rock, I am an...

I am the sort of person who generally can go all day feeling like they've had several conversations but without ever opening my mouth. What does this mean? Well, that I am telepathic and that is how I communicate. Or i guess i could just be deaf. Anyway, no. What this means, to me anyway, is that I am largely entertained by the thoughts in my head and that is the way i would wish it to be.

Of course, i think it's important to have real human-to-human contact but I also feel like it's important to be ok with one's solitude. If you are, you would never be bored, right? Just think about Shawshank Redemption, as I often do, when Tim Robbins' character Andy Dufresne is thrown into the isolation chamber for months and the only way it doesn't break him is because they can't take away his thoughts and the music that plays in his head. If I did ever go deaf, this is something that consoles me, that there's still the music and i can hear it in my brain even if I can't with my ears.

One time I was a sucker and clicked on a stupid article link on Man, they know how to entice me. It was titled, "What kind of friend are you? Let the stars tell you." *embarrassed face* I copied and pasted it in an email to Sean, which is pasted below:
"This is going to bring shame to you & the family, but i clicked on this dumb article and what it said is freakishly true about both of us, there's no denying it. Also, we should have more celebrity friends. Read on:

Taurus [me]
As a slow and deliberate Taurus, [what the? insult] you rarely meet people without wondering whether or not they have the potential to be a tried and true friend. Because you enjoy spending quality time on your own, you aren't really looking for casual acquaintances. If someone doesn't have the qualities you look for in a real friend, you'd rather fly solo.
Your celebrity best friend matches: Dedicated Pisces like Bruce Willis and Cindy Crawford; conscientious Cancers like Tom Cruise and Pamela Anderson.

Pisces [Sean]
You get stuck in your own little world sometimes, but your true friends are the ones who can snap you out of it when you need a jolt back into reality. You have a caring and sensitive soul, and your friends are the beneficiaries of all the love you have to give. You're happy to engage in heart-to-heart talks with your best friend, even if you can't get a word in edgewise, [are they referring to me? another insult!] and your selflessness sometimes knows no bounds when it comes to friendship.
Your celebrity best friend matches: Practical Capricorns like Diane Keaton and Jared Leto; dependable Tauruses like Janet Jackson and Jerry Seinfeld.

Sean replied:

ha ha

I wish that sounded less true.

Then I wouldn't be a pagan.
What do you think about being left alone? Can you still be stimulated mentally? Does this unnerve you? Do you go a little bit crazy? What if you were Tom Hanks in Castaway? And not filming a movie, i mean. Are you the sort who needs to be with people at all times? I do not think this is bad because, on the other end of it, I'm kind of awkward socially and I do think it's good to be around people. But i am quite content a lot of the time not to be. *abrupt end of post*


Alanna said...

I'm weird on this one. I don't particularly mind being on my own-- I can usually find plenty of things to do to occupy my time-- but there's always this nagging voice in my head that wonders if everyone else out there is doing something really fun WITHOUT ME and I'm totally missing out. And then I stress about why they didn't invite me, too. (I do this in reverse, also-- any time I invite people over, I start inviting more and more people because I don't want anyone to feel left out. I think I need a bigger house if this paranoia is going to continue...) I sometimes worry that I call people to hang out with me just so they won't do fun things without me.

How's that for slightly paranoid and REALLY pathetic?

)en said...

slightly paranoid and totally funny. That last line is the best. ("I sometimes worry..." :D

Amber Alvarez said...

When I am alone I am a total fool. I get giddy about being by myself. I gallop down the hallways and slide down them in my socks. I have long hypothetical conversations and I laugh at funny things that are my own private jokes. Is that totally schitzo?

One reason I'm still single is that I haven't found anyone who I want to be with when I want to be with no one but myself. I wonder if I'll ever find someone that 'm completely authentic with. You and Sean are a beacon of hope there ;)

I'm glad we are true friends but I wish that Bruce Willis would come over and make pancakes with us sometime. Work on setting that up, OK?

P.S. Your celebrity friends are wildly cooler than Sean's CF.

I like to think mine would be Tina Fey, Rachel McAdams, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Neil Patrick Harris.

Joel said...

This is unrelated to the post, but our firewall at work has now decided to block your blog because it thinks there is potentially harmful software on the site. You should be flattered.

P.S. I guess that makes you a vector.

)en said...

oh man, really? harsh. although, my blog is very edgy.

I AM a vector! vectorvectorvector.

Natalie R. said...

I never appreciated being alone until my mission when I was never ever alone and I thought I was going to go crazy. Now the best is when I have a rare chance to be alone in the car, and I can pump up the music as much as I want!!!

Lindsey said...

Actual - ...your selflessness sometimes knows no bounds when it comes to friendship.
Me - ...your selfishness sometimes knows no bounds when it comes to friendship.
Oops! Love your blog Jen. Sorry it has been so long.