An account of the day:
9:05am: I ate a bowl of yogurt and granola and strawberries and as I enjoyed this delicious treat, my hair dipped ever so gingerly right into the yogurt. I did what anyone would do: Wiped/ate off the yogurt with my mouth.
10:10am: While trying to screw on the lid of my contact case, it flew off into the dirty dusty bathroom corner. I'm sure it's fine.
1:04pm: I hovered over a previously-been-peed-on toilet seat in a foulsome restroom (desperate times, man). They don't call me Iron Thighs Jen for nothing. (nobody calls me that and please no one do, ever) (but if you did, i wouldn't blame you for being spot-on.)
3:20pm: While walking outside, a gross bug flew into my cursed chapsticked lip and stayed there until i picked/wiped it off with my fingers. Totally repulsed.
4:00pm: I ate some dried fruit and then used the same fingers to take out my contacts.
I am yummy.