Monday, February 02, 2009

Dream of a Dream

To commemorate Groundhog Day, I am going to tell you about a dream I had the other night, which had nothing to do with Groundhog Day or groundhogs at all. It was, however, the best dream ever. I was in Jurassic Park.

(p.s. It's boring when people go on and on about their dreams. That's all. I'm not going to say "except for this one." or anything. Just know that i know. But i'm doing it anyway.)

Have you ever been able to control your dreams? And been aware that you're dreaming? I didn't really control this dream, but i was able to keep it going for a pretty long time, and to even continue it after i had gotten up in the middle of the night. i loved it so much. I woke up in the morning and exclaimed, "What an adventure!!" because I am 100% nerd.

In the dream, I never really ventured far into the jungle. I stayed more inside the compound. And, of course, the only dinosaurs I had interaction with were the Velociraptors, the scariest of all dinosaurs. I've had many-a velociraptor dream in my life but I was usually freaked out of my mind and it was usually at my home or something.

But in this dream, I was not scared. i was ready to kick some dino-tail and it was up to me to do it. AND, Jeff Goldblum was there. There were brief moments where it was as if i was right in the movie but instead of the other regular characters (besides Dr. malcolm) it was me and a bunch of other kids on a fieldtrip of sorts. But i was my current age. I saw Ian Malcolm on the couch and i was finally able to confess to him the feelings i'd carried for so long. And then I said, "But I'm not 13 anymore! i'm 28 so it's totally appropriate!" He was super flattered and, I think, interested. And my 13-year-old self cheered. (sorry sean) Unfortunately however, nothing more came of that because I needed to defend the schoolkids.

I spent the entire dream trying to fend off the dinosaurs but the weapons inside the facility (which turned out to look more like the mansion from Clue than anything) were totally lame and i found myself getting more frustrated with each useless "weapon." Each room looked like some kind of study and I desperately searched for a knife, a gun--anything, but all i could find were papers and telescopes and useless junk. Finally I found a long blade and shoved it in my belt, should it ever come to hand-to-jaws combat. At one point it was just me and a kid... oh it was the kid from the movie! And I was the "sister" supposedly, and was supposed to be with him in the kitchen scene but we all know how scary that was, so i ran down the hall to the study instead, and totally abandoned my "brother." Ha ha. I needed to find a weapon!! All i could find was this long tube that, when you pressed a tab, emitted smoke and i don't know if it was a deterrent, a scent that dinosaurs dislike, or what. I stuck it outside the door into the hallway and used it for a minute and the velociraptors paused at my door (which was surrounded by windows--stupid raptors) and moved onto the next room--the kitchen, where the boy was. Excellent, this should buy me some time. (Again, sorry brother) So i searched frantically for another weapon but couldn't find one.

The next scene is with all of the kids and me, and everyone's scared and I finally somehow got my hands onto a super long rifle. It didn't look like a rifle at all but it was one, apparently. And i knew how to use it. I started firing at the raptors below immediately (i was up on higher ground, like landings that go up to the ceiling for maintenance) I had remarkable aim (now we know it was a dream) and hit them every time. I was feeling victorious & awesome until I realized that the huge bullets appeared to be made of rubber and were totally slow. They would just bounce off the dinosaurs momentarily stunning them and nothing more. I was slowly getting more frustrated and it took me forever to realize that this isn't actually how bullets are supposed to work and what the hey was wrong with this thing??

And that's the end of my dream. I never actually did kill a dinosaur but I did manage to stay alive. Next time, velociraptors!! Next tiiiime!!! (you too, Jeff)


Pedersen Posse said...

Man, I knew you liked Jurassic Park, but you still dream about it??? It sounded fun. Too bad Michael Crichton died. You could have emailed this to him for inspiration for yet another Jurassic Park sequel. It's exciting. Lara Croft Tomb Raider meets Jurassic Park.

)en said...


I totally still dream about it. Ha.

SO sad about Michael Crichton's death. I wrote a blog post about it weeks ago but nothing was coming out right. It just wasn't enough. RIP, MC.

Joel said...

Well, you sure beat your time estimated by that website, although I guess you weren't chained to a bunk bed with the velociraptor...