Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Attraction

Thinking about the previous post got me thinking: (<-- wow, the intelligent things that continue to come out of my mouth/fingers just astound me.) What attracts you to people? I am curious to know. This can be as a single person to a possible mate, as a married person, as a person, whatever.

What attracts me:


1. I am attracted to people who are quiet and not the center of attention-type people. Those people aren't bad but I have a tender spot for the quiet and meek.

2. On that note, I love people who are quietly funny. Funny by itself, too, but if they're quietly and unassumingly funny? LOVE IT.

3. I really like really, really funny people. I can't stress a sense of humor enough. I don't know what to do with people who don't have one. Talk about shoes i guess. But also, there is the "humor compatibility" factor. When you find someone who has the same sense of humor as you? Priceless. I love those moments when you are with a group of people, something happens or is said that I find humorous that most people may not, and I laugh, and i hear across the room someone else laugh too. I have found a soul friend.

3. I am drawn to genuine people. People who are REAL. People who aren't afraid to say something weird.

4. I am attracted to people who are quick to laugh and like to make fun of themselves. What a wonderful quality. This gives me the green light to make fun of them as well.

5. I am attracted to intelligent people. I love people who have interesting things to say.

6. I love a good-hearted soul.

7. I am attracted to good-natured snarkiness and sarcasm. I live for it.

8. I am attracted to people who get my sense of humor and catch the dry funny things I say. I think I live my life with many people around me not realizing that I'm being sarcastic and making a joke. This results in many tough crowds and lots of crickets chirping, which entertains me, yet I rejoice upon meeting someone who catches and appreciates those subtle things. To be honest, it doesn't happen often, at least right away. There are a few people i can think of who understood me from the get-go.

9. I like weirdness. I think I like people similar to me. Is that conceited?

10. I was going to make a list of things I was attracted to in a potential mate but I basically have covered it already. Humor was huge, so was intelligence. And goodness. And someone who appreciated my weirdness. Fortunately I struck gold and then some.

11. Oh, and of course, confidence. It's key key key. I tire quickly when I'm around someone who doesn't have a healthy self-esteem. I spend my time trying to build them up and after a while I'm like, you know what? You're old enough. You need to be doing this yourself. Is this jerky? I just feel like people need to find that on their own. I have spent time with people who were like this and it really made no difference what I said. Plus, i suspected they might be fishing for these compliments and I am super anti-that.

12. As for physical appearance, I didn't really have a type except i appreciated a guy who was several inches taller than me and had a nice mouth. Read
here for more info. I have to say though, I wasn't hugely attracted to ginormous muscles. I think it's unnatural and weird but I can appreciate that someone wants that for themselves. Good on ya.

What I am not attracted to:


1. I'm not attracted to super shyness. This is difficult because it's not the shy person's fault, right? But i think that shyness is unique because it does not make itself obvious. This is why it's hard for me. I don't know if a person is shy, hates people, hates me, or what, and it kind of stresses me out. Perhaps this is due to me not being super outgoing and if you put me with a shy person we will spend the time either awkwardly staring at each other or me spouting out weird and inappropriate things (this shows my (in)ability to carry a conversation) just to fill the silence. I did say i like quiet people and I think there's a difference. Quiet people just aren't loud, but shy people don't talk. is my theory.

2. Not attracted to crudeness.

3. Not attracted to people who smoke. I want to like you, and may in the end, but you make yourself to look a fool.

4. Not attracted to boring people. Maybe there's something interesting deep down, but I'm not sure I can put forth the effort to find it.

5. Not attracted to conceit. Though it does entertain me in a "are you serious? Did you really just say that?" kind of way. I love when people have no idea how utterly ridiculous they are in their conceitedness. It delights me, in a way. But i don't want to hang out with them.

6. Not attracted to people who are super intense and/or controlling. You wear me out.

7. Not attracted to people with a closed mind and who don't listen to others. You aggravate me and waste my time.

8. Not attracted to negativity. I'm not Sally Sunshine (<-- like that? just made it up) but people who are perpetually negative drag me down down down.


I could probably go on and on but perhaps i won't list all the things about people that bug me. :) (<-- ONE, that's only one emoticon.) So what's on your list?

(whoa! i've totally hit my quota for parenthetical arrows. geez louise.)

5 comments:

Natalie, Cameron and Samuel said...

The thing that matters most to me is being able to be myself around someone.

Jen said...

And what prevents you from that? would you say.

Alanna said...

Actually your list sounded pretty much like the list I would make-- especially what you said about quiet people vs. shy people! I like the quiet people who occasionally say absolutely brilliant things but you have to be paying attention to hear what they say or you'll completely miss it. You feel like they're your special treasure or something.

Jen said...

AbsoLUTELY. Could not have said it better. I have a post draft that talks about just that. Seriously one of my favorite qualities in a person.

Natalie, Cameron and Samuel said...

Wow, you guys both described me!!! Ha ha, just kidding. I'm not sure what keeps me from being me - I guess when I'm intimidated and/or if my personality just doesn't mesh with that of the other person? I'll have to think about this...