Ok, sometimes I go to this website, overheardintheoffice.com and find some pretty funny quotes. I thought i'd share some with you. This one made me laugh outloud:
Female coworker: Anyway, my brother-in-law is standing there wearing pajama pants and a guinea-tee... Oh, maybe I shouldn't say 'guinea...' I don't want to offend anyone.
Male coworker: A minute ago you suggested to our Asian coworker that he name his daughter Lynn because his last name is Lin, then you told him it would be like the giant panda, Lin Lin... And now you're worried about offending someone?
Female coworker: Oh, that's different. He knows me.
This one is for all you TA's out there. And i know there are many.
Student: I can't get this essay to say what I want it to say, and you aren't helping me!
Tutor: Well, what do you want to say, exactly?
Student: That you're an idiot who isn't helping me!
Tutor: So write that.
Student: ... Are you serious?
Tutor: Sure. Write your whole essay around it if you think you can support your argument.
Student: ... But you're the TA, so you'll be grading it later, right?
Tutor: Let me put it this way -- if you can write this argumentative essay well enough that I start to take your side, then I will give you an A for the semester.
Student: Can I get that in writing?
Tutor: Sure [writes it and signs it].
Student: Sweet. I'm head of the debate team, you know.
101 Braddock Road
This one's funny too. I'd love to have a moment where i could think this fast, say the wittiest thing, and walk away, but in reality i'm like, "buhh... shut up!"
Lady: You think wearing the skin of a dead cow is cool or something? You're promoting murder by wearing that.
Leather jacket guy: I don't wear this because I like leather. I wear this because I hate cows. My father was gored to death by a bull. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to Burger King.
Blockbuster Video, 14936 North Florida Avenue