I don't shower EVERY day. Every other day. That's fine, right? If i don't roll around in the sewer. I'm not totally filthy and i don't stink. I'm not like Pigpen (Charlie Brown's friend) with a consta-filthy face with scribbles and flies around my head. Well, except for the other day.
But anyway, so i wouldn't consider myself totally gross, with horrible hygiene. But today, i was sitting on the couch and I noticed something. See, oftentimes for breakfast I eat a bagel or cinnamon raisin toast and i eat it while sitting on the couch. So today, i looked down at my belly and noticed something. "Geez," I thought. "My bellybutton has some stuff in it." I started digging a little and was like, what the hey? What is that? And then I realized they were crumbs. Crumbs fall down my shirt and into my bellybutton. I've been storing 2 days-worth of crumbs in my bellybutton. I sat staring, pondering this for several minutes.
i'm a slob.