Friday, December 03, 2021

Zombies and Demons

I woke up at 3am this morning feeling like the Wicked Witch of the East in Wizard of Oz. You know, the one who had a house land on top of her.   As I came to, I felt around me to make sure there was no house, but when I tried to move my toes, they definitely felt something akin to shriveling and rolling up into themselves.  Not really, but that's a funny visual.  It's weird when you can feel ALL of your bones.  It almost makes me want to count them all just to have something to do to pass the time.

I got my Covid booster shot yesterday. Inflammation has plagued me since I first forgot how to sleep in 2014. If I don't sleep, my body is up in flames. And when I get vaccinations, that can happen too. Add nighttime weirdness (racing mind + blaring songs playing in my head that won't shut up + heightened, weird thoughts + noise and light sensitivity) and I no longer have the night demons, I am the night demon.  

At one point I noticed how very bright it was in the room. I could not ignore it. Something had to be done. Sean has a lot of plugs and whatnot near his side, some of which glow.  On this night, they were bright as the sun. So I got up to cover them with something. As I fumbled around the bed in the dark, I tripped over the laundry basket and sort of fell toward the bed, gripping Sean's leg. He sat bolt upright like I had unwittingly triggered a zombie and he kind of scared me. It's a good thing I don't react as physically as he does when startled or he'd have gotten a punch in the face and I'd knock him down like an inflatable punching clown (which I had as a child, for the record). I don't even know if he said anything because I had earplugs in. So then I said, probably too loudly, "SORRY... I FELL."   And then I covered the lights and went back to bed and did what I do on nights such as this. 

In the morning he remembered none of this but said he had noticed I was up at one point and tried to ask me if everything was ok but I didn't hear him. I told him he would have to touch my arm or something (but probably not grip it violently, as I had done with his leg). He said he didn't want to bother me and I told him he can always talk to me at night when I'm awake. I love company.  He laughed and said ok. The zombie and the demon. We get along so well.  

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