Monday, December 18, 2017

Neighbor Gifts

So it's a week before Christmas and I have to say, I'm a little disappointed in our neighbor gifts.  I'm afraid someone read my blog and was miffed because I ridiculed their candy canes. I take it back! I take it baaaaack! I'll take anything you want to give me, even horrible candy caaaaaanes. 

So far we've received:

  • a roll of wrapping paper with two things of scotch tape (score!) 
  • a bag of potpourri to simmer on your stove (nice)
  • two boxes of cake mix, one with a spoon (+1)
  •  and a bag of white chocolate puff snacks which I call Christmas Crack and gives me immediate diabetes.   Ok, now that I'm making this list that seems like a pretty decent amount.  
Also I was going to apologize for still sounding like a Christmas Jerk about neighbor gifts but I think it's a persona I enjoy too much. Being, like, this super nit picky neighbor that acts all gracious and grateful and then shuts the door and quietly critiques and judges each one. Especially regarding something so unimportant, particularly to the season, but which I esteem of the utmost value to my Christmas celebrating experience.  C'mon, it's funny.  Anyway, there's a whole week left so anything could happen;  i'll let you know.  We took ours around this past week and I'm pretty pleased.  I only have one real rule when it comes to neighbor gifts, which I have arbitrarily come up with only recently. It is:  Must include a clever quip or Christmas pun or two.  A simple "Merry Christmas! We love you guys" will NOT suffice and I will mentally and emotionally reject such a gesture.  Step it up, people.
Anyway, here's ours this year:

Oh crap, now you know my last name! Also this sort of a rip-off of our Christmas card 10 years ago when Sean and I wore ugly sweaters we had to find on ebay because they were not yet a thing, and my hair was in a side ponytail and we were co-holding a cat mug.  Something about wishing you a warm and cozy Christmas.  Ahh, that was a good one.


Joel said...

I struggle with the neighbor gift thing. More than half of what others give us ends up wasted, and I'm never organized or enthusiastic enough to send something around (which goes back to my "keep it simple" rule). One neighborhood we lived in was the BEST. Instead of sending around the treats or whatever, everyone bought canned goods. Then we all met one evening at the church parking lot for a classy fire in a barrel, hobo-style, and enjoyed a little hot chocolate. So we all got less fat while helping those who needed the calories.

)en said...

That's great, Joel, but I want to accuuuumulaaaaate. Stuff! Stuff! Stuff! Stuff! And, stuff I am 90% likely to throw right in the trash because there's no way I can eat even 10% of it. But there's just something about receiving pretty packages from acquaintances that makes me feel really good inside.

)en said...

Jk that is a good idea though. Anything hobo-style- sign me up