Sunday, August 18, 2013


Julian is four, and I'm trying to deal.  Let's cheer us all up by celebrating this funny little lad. I will be organizing this post using arbitrary subheadings. Click here to see what was happening one year ago.

Jen & Julian

First, someone asked me if Julian had a favorite parent. Of course, it goes back and forth, and Julian loves his pop (see above). But that boy is mine, all mine.  He and I love to be with our friends. I am very grateful for my friends whom I love dearly, and it is good for us to hang out with kids our own age, but oftentimes, our very favorite person to do things with is each other.  Not only are we BFFs, but we're a lot alike. We have the same sense of humor, the same likes and dislikes, so many inside jokes. We love the same music and finish each other's songs.   Our likeness (alikeness?) is particularly evident in the car when I regress to a childlike state and he maintains his pretty mature-for-his-age level. Oftentimes I have to drive because I loathe being stuck in traffic in a pretty volatile way and I also get pretty carsick. It's lame because i often don't necessarily want to drive (even though I am an excellent Brooklyn driver) but i have to to avoid the queases and losing my mind.  Also difficult for actual children, Julian has learned he can't even whine because I will out-whine him.  If he begins to get uncomfortable at the traffic, I immediately erupt in a fit of-- "I know Aughhh, I hate it TOO! This is the WORRRRST!!"   And we share that moment and Sean laughs at his own inability to discern who is whom.


1. "Mom, you are a good garbage man." 

2. On a walk he pointed at something and asked me, "is that poop?"  I said it was and he replied,  "Mom, you are good at investigating poop."

I am, I really am.  We investigated poop for the rest of the walk.  Ah, city nature games.

This original interchange took place a couple of months ago but just a few days ago we were walking home and he had run up ahead of me.  Suddenly he froze in place, arm outstretched, finger pointing unmoving at something on the sidewalk.  He remained still and silent and as I approached I took my phone out to snap a picture. I quickly hit the picture button twice and after i'd gotten the first picture, which was this:

he swiftly moved his arm to point out the second perpetration:

We didn't talk about it, but we didn't need to. Clean up after your pets, people!  And while I'm on it, let's talk about pets in the city.  I don't mind pets. I love pets! And maybe I'm just not used to being around big (or even small) slobbery dogs but at the park, there are pet hours, where you can take the leash off your dog in the early hours of the day. As far as I know, that's the only time.  So when we had dinner there with friends a few nights ago, I was confused as to why two different owners let their dogs come up to us and lick small babies and terrify everyone, and then act like it was a gift from them to us. They slowly approached, "C'mon, Buddy! ha ha ha..."  and stood there waiting, like we all liked it.  Like we all liked getting our food stomped  and slobbered on. NO! Get your dog out of my face.   Not a dog hater, but c'mon, people.  One was like, "you can pet it!" all friendly, and no one wanted to. Thanks, but i'd rather not touch your dog and then slime my own food.  Ok, maybe I am a hater.  I'll work on it.  But let's not taint the birthday post.



Moving on, thirdly, Julian has an outstanding imagination. He will play with cars and things for a long time and run in to me talking about what exactly is going on, at length, with nary a breath taken.  I try to listen and be involved but when I respond and ask questions it seems to throw him off and he gets agitated so I mostly say, "Wow! Really? The nightmare train, whoa!"    And, speaking of, he uses the ice cream scoop as the nightmare train. The nightmare train is a character from one of his shows. I don't know it, don't know what it looks like. So on Sunday when he wanted one of us to draw it for him i said to Sean, the draw-er,  "Uhh... the ice cream scoop?"  So Sean drew it and Julian was satisfied.  Just makes me laugh.  

Here it is in a letter Sean wrote to Julian including pictures relevant to our life and conversations these days:

And the letter in full:

Love it.

birthday brunch, with attitude

Summer isn't summer until you've had an ice cream mustache

ice cream facial hair of any kind, really

Going along with his imagination, one recent thing is the development of a new... what, character? Personage? In his life.  I would call him an imaginary friend but he scares the living daylights out of me so I really don't know what to say.  But a few days ago Julian mentioned someone called the Taking Boy.  Apparently The Taking Boy is a boy without a face or much detail (as far as I can gather) who comes to Julian's room at night and takes him back to bed.  Julian seems nonplussed by this but I get more and more freaked out the more i hear about it and, thusly, let my mind wander there.  I asked him what he looked like and he said he was brown, which I am assuming means he is featureless and more of a shadow.  YIKES.  And the way he talks about it is fairly creepy in that it's so matter-of-fact, reminding me of those horror films of kids drawing pictures of their family, which could look like this:

Again: Yikes.  So I try to listen calmly and act merely interested and not terrified.   But hey, we all had our things growing up. Had/have. (I'm looking at YOU, giant sticky hand that lived in the closet)

Julian Quote

Sean: Julian just woke up on the cute side of the bed.  He said,

"Mom, I woked up and I kind of felt like I needed to put my finger in my nose. And I found a boogie! And i put it in my mouth.  I'm the boogie monster! [Then, having a brief afterthought] I think I said the wrong grown-up. I said 'mom' but you are dad."  

totally looks like the hulk. cute hulk. if hulk and i had a baby [weird]
R is for Rulian 

Julian makes me laugh and I love the way he says words. Little kids are the best in this regard.  Speaking of regard, or just the "r,"  these days I am dying at the weirdest thing he does which is attach an 'r' in front of random words. I've made a list of them. Some of them begin with a vowel, which i can kind of understand. it's like a weird little kid way of saying "an apple" instead of "a apple."   But some of them begin with a consonant that he just chooses to replace with the letter 'r' and i looove it.  Here they are:

1. Raventure.    
"Mom, let's go on a raventure!" 
2. Rattach.    
This could be confused as to be re-attach, but no. It's just attach. "I have to rattach this car to that one!"
3. Rappointment.   
"we don't want to miss the rappointment!"

4. Resterday.    
"What did we do resterday?" 
that y is just too hard.

5. Restroyed.    
"The battle station was restroyed!"

6. Rapartment. 

7. Remergency. 
"It's a remergency!"

8. Ramazing.

You, Julian. You are ramazing. 

Birthday morning. He opened the door, saw it, and as we said "happy birthday!" he reached behind and grabbed me and said, "happy birthday, mom!"  I know he knows it was for him, but there is a big part of me that loves being included in his day.  p.s. those are worm balloons and they are awe-some. Happy birthday to me! I mean, Julian!

I plead with Julian every  night, begging him to just please, please stay small.  But he calmly explains that he cannot, that he is just growing bigger.  And he is right, it is happening. His life is flashing before my eyes. Happy birthday, Squirt. Don't stop singing happy birthday to yourself.


Ashley said...

Oh, man. This kid. What a treasure. Loved it all, except for the creepy image of the Taking Boy that will stay with me for the rest of my life.

Valerie said...

Oh no, when did he become such a big kid? He is beautiful.