I am in a circus here and the clowns are in charge.
as a side note, i used to really love the song Send in the Clowns. Seriously. I thought it was the saddest/prettiest song ever. I don't even know where it came from or anything about it except Barbara Streisand sings it (right?)
But, as an additional side note, that reminds me of one of my funniest Mom memories. I was in high school and we had an unexpected "early out" day for some reason. So i came home at around lunchtime and the house was all quiet. I went into the laundry room and a small old radio was playing Send in the Clowns (OMG, was just reminded of this post & dream) and I thought, man, i love this song. I think i'll go play it on the piano. Because we, for some reason, had the sheet music and i had been totally into it lately. So i went into the living room and was bent over hunting for it in the sheet music holder when I hear someone slowly creep up the stairs which are just near the living room and i can see the staircase. Finally my mother's head comes into view. I see her face which is full of fear, her eyes wide, and she's holding something behind her back. When she realized it was me, relief washed over her and she shrieked, "Jennifer! What are you doing here?!" Because i at first confuse her relief with anger, like I rebelliously ditching school, i defend myself saying it was an early out day! And her arm goes slack and i see she's holding something sharp and pointed. When i get a closer look, I see it's a tool for pressing leather.
Finally I put two and two together and I accusatorily exclaimed, "You were gonna stab me with that!" And she tried to defend herself, "Well i didn't know who was here! I heard footsteps above me and thought it was an intruder!" And i laughed my guts out and lovingly hold that against her to this very day.