Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Presumptuous

Dear Gmail,

I know you loooove to anticipate my every move and take immense pride in believing you can actually read my thoughts, but guess what: not so. I am fine with the weirdo ads you like to place on the side that make me look like a freak with mental illness because of a word you took out of context, but when i got the following pop-up message when i tried to send an email, i thought, that's it Gmail, you've gone too far:

Did you mean to attach files?

You wrote "i'm including" in your message, but there are no files attached. Send anyway?

Gee, gmail (<-- that sounds cool), might there be the slightest possibility that i could be referring to something other than a file attachment when i use the phrase "I'm including" in an email? Right off the bat I can think of at least 6 things that i could be talking about.

  1. "I'm including coupons in all my Christmas cards this year."
  2. "I'm including laxatives in every meal and still no go."
  3. "I'm including the Easter Bunny on my list of favorite super heroes."
  4. "I'm including my neighbors as I select which battle I'm going to re-enact this July 4th, as they had so much to say about it last year."
  5. "I decided I'm including my Pig Latin dictionary in my emergency backpack."
  6. "I'm including my request for the complete elimination of snow in my next letter to NASA."


What are you including? other than an attachment, that is.

7 comments:

MelBroek said...

bahaha. Your list made me literally laugh out loud.

Hmmm... maybe... "I'm including myself with Olympians. Not in physical strength, perhaps, but in patriotism."

or

"I'm including fetuses and chimpanzees in my nightmares!"

Joel said...

I'm including a prehensile tail in my next abomination of nature.

Jen said...

niiice nice.

ha ha! olympians.

"I'm including myself on the Olympic team, whether they want me or not."

Joel said...

Funny, the first time I read the olympians comment I assumed she was referring to Greek gods. Which is actually kind of extra awesome.

Andrew said...

In this comment, I'm including my own complaints about Microsoft Word's auto-correct features. I mean, Gmail asks "did you mean..."

Word just assumes it's right and changes it. The worst part is when it changes my formatting though. It's not like anyone gets their formatting all jacked by word and then says "Oh, yeah! I forgot I meant to insert hanging indents everywhere for no reason, and then turn that regular list into one with weird bullets and stuff that is impossible to later go back to and re-format."

Alanna said...

I need to issue a hearty "amen" to all of this, but especially to Andrew's rant. I HATE autoformat.

Jen said...

Ha ha, it's so true. the permanent bullets...