Sunday, September 27, 2009

Labor of Love

So, judging from the title of this post, you may be led to believe I refer to the labor of pushing out a fetus which I recently participated in. False. Please, that was nothing. No, I refer to THIS:






Sean has long been a fan of the "bushy eyebrow" look, and as we ALL know and do NOT need to be reminded (FINE), I am the founder & president of the Bushy Eyebrows Club. Anyway, since he's always pressuring me to look like a supermodel, he's shown pictures to me lately of models with bushy eyebrows and how cool they look. They do look kind of cool, i agree. So in his way, he requested I grow mine out (or "in"?) and I consented since I've been in confinement these several weeks. And because I am the kindest person in the freakin' galaxy.

WHAT HAVE I DONE. It is awful! I look in the mirror and a neanderthal smiles back, but I do not return the smile. (what?) Ughhh I feel so sloppy and unkempt and normally this wouldn't bother me so much but given recent events, I'm just a big slobby slob across the board and the gorilla eyebrows don't help. It's a long arduous process and I come this close to going plucking crazy (<--HA) every day but I've come so far, so I refrain. For now. I need some support. When this is over I'll go to a salon and, after offering some soothing words when she bursts into frightful tears, ask if they can clean me up to be presentable to society.


Hopefully they'll look something like this:


and not this, which is how they look in my mind's eye: (right? only in my mind?)


Anyway, that's all. I just wanted to tell you about one of the hardest things i have EVER HAD TO DO.


p.s. do you like my new eyeshadow? It's called "Purple Jaundice." And, yay for you to see all my pores up close. I have no shame... anymore.

6 comments:

Alanna said...

The funny thing about eyebrows is that mine are actually pretty much perfect as they are. I'll pluck one or two little tiny misplaced hairs a week if I'm really paying attention to my mirror image. And I know that it sounds like I'm totally bragging here or something, but it turns out that having your best feature be your eyebrows is a complete waste because they are the EASIEST thing to fix if there's a problem! Huge nose? Expensive to fix! Thin lips? Those injections are painful (so I've heard)! Blonde eyelashes? Have to layer on the mascara every freakin' day! Crazy eyebrows-- just pluck them!

I wasted my one perfect feature on eyebrows. Sad, huh?

Now go enjoy the rest of your face more.

Natalie R. said...

One day after church, my roommate said, "Um, Natalie, I hate to tell you this, but you really messed up on your eye shadow this morning!" As I didn't even own any, I was pretty confused. That was the day I discovered that my right eyelid is discolored, but only on one side of it!!! Crazy, huh? I've had a few people mention it since, but not many. I guess we all have imperfections, but seriously I don't think your eyebrows are bad at all. And the eye shadow is pretty awesome!

Dom and Katie said...

you can do it, jen. not much longer. keep up the good, hard work and the pay off will be huge. you'll be walking down the street and people will think you're a supermodel because of the way you can rock the bushy eyebrows. and sean will finally get what he has always wished for, since a little boy: a wife with bushy eyebrows.

Joel said...

I will never understand why women obsess about their eyebrows. The best analogy I can think of for men is when we always have to have the newest, shiniest gadget and women couldn't care less.

Then again, maybe the eyebrow thing is mostly to impress other women...

Amberbop said...

Purple Jaundice is so your color.

I'm sorry that Sean is so shallow. Thank goodness I am single and never have to make huge sacrifices like this for my marriage.... um...yeah.....

The Pedersen Posse said...

You go Jen! I'm glad I'm not the only that's self-conscious about my eyebrows.