Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Courage Under Disgustingness

To see a cockroach in your kitchen is extremely unpleasant. The big ones are the most disgusting, of course. It may not happen often but when it does, it sends your entire body into convulsions and you suffer from it for hours afterward. Comparatively, seeing a tiny cockroach might not be a big deal, such as I did tonight. They are too young to have the capability or experience to move fast, and naively venture out, making themselves easy targets. I mistook the tiny one on the wall tonight for a little spider and first thought how cute it was before I realized it was a disgusting cockroach. But no matter, it's tiny and slow right? But then if you see another, and another, I can't quite possibly convey to you the surge of terror that fills your entire being when you're jarred with the realization that there must be some kind of HATCHERY in your house and that it's just become alive. Moreover, it's in a difficult-to-get-to place. When this happens, there is only one thing left to do: Take apart your kitchen and spray down the walls with bug killer, smashing poisoned and dazed cockroaches as they stagger into view, hoping you get them all before you finally crash to the floor, dead, a victim of heart failure.

8 comments:

Joel said...

I know that terror well from my mission. The first time I saw one I nearly died from the sheer horror of it. By the 10 millionth, I stopped freaking out so much (except when I saw one on my toothbrush).

Shan said...

Sounds like my mission! Ugh I hate cockroaches!!!

Jen said...

Ha ha. I love when people comment on my life and say it reminds them of their mission. Makes me feel like I live in the third world...

Natalie R. said...

I feel your pain, Jen. The little ones are upsetting, too, although I think you're completely INSANE to ever put the word "sp*#^r" and "cute" in the same sentence. I'll have Cameron give you a psych. consult at church on Sunday.

Jen said...

Listen, the spider is a noble creature. I'm not saying I love them. In fact, I don't. They're creepy and scary and when I see them in my house I pretty much want them destroyed. (though at times i might feel a little guilty)

They spin complex and beautifully intricate webs, they trap their food (smart), and they generally keep to themselves, staying in their corner, and, well, when they're super small, they're just cute. That is a law of physics. Small things = cute. Extra large things = fun. I discovered this law several years ago and it still rings true.

But, i totally busted up that you made spider a swear word. love it.

Natalie R. said...

Have I ever told you about my code word for them? If not, I'll have to share. It's a pretty funny story.

Jon Scoresby said...

So while leaving in Georgia we had our share of cockroach moments. One in particular was when I was watching TV one night with the lights off and a big one crawled up over the TV and down the middle of the screen while I was watching. I didn't know roaches could fly so I got up to swish it to the floor so I could step on it. Oh how foolish that was. It flew off of the TV, at me, and the hid under the TV stand. All I could was spray it and hope it died. I found it in the middle of the floor dead in the morning.

Episode 2 is when our fridge broke so the apartment people brought us a "new" one and when Mary opened the bottom drawer to put the produce back into it a roach some climbing out of the drawer and runs down the hallway. GOOD TIMES!!!

Jon Scoresby said...

And that would be living in Georgia not leaving. Even though I was at one time leaving Georgia. I mean don't we all leave at one point in our lives?