It’s the day after. In some ways it’s as if yesterday never happened. It’s not like Val Kilmer in At First Sight who is able to see again after never being able to see. What? No, I haven’t seen that movie. But it’s not like I can’t make sense of colors and perspective, etc, or that it's taking a while for my eyes to adjust. But in other ways, I kind of miss Blind Jen. I feel a familiarity when my eyes are closed, that wasn’t there before. It’s interesting to go around my house and see the little things that were such great obstacles for me. How I stood foreeever by all the boxes of plastic baggies and foil and whatnot, reaching up on the top shelf trying to find a cursed ziplock and finally finally coming up with a freezer bag which sufficed.
My slippers, as it turned out, were one centimeter, I am convinced, away from where my toe had been feeling for them. The world is much bigger for someone who can’t see. And yet, I guess it’s small because it’s so hard to discover it. In a weird way I almost feel claustrophobic, too organized or that things are too orderly now that I can see. They’re so much closer to me and vague things like where the contours of an object were, are clear and defined. Being blind, I was limited only by my own imagination. And now, things are plain and clear and I don't even need my imagination. My small apartment-world is visible before me. I don’t know. I have learned a lot from this. It was a weird experiment, I admit that. And I further admit that although of course I’d rather have my sight, I can’t say that I won’t close my eyes sometimes and see if I can do something blind just because. But I guess we already knew I do that anyway.