Monday, August 27, 2007

QuestJENnaire: The grossest thing

In an attempt to revitalize the blog, I'm going to start a small series that I'd really like you to participate in. About 6 months ago I sent out a "QuestJENnaire" to my family and friends. Here's what I wrote, to describe it:

So you know how you get those emails from your friends that are questionnaires about what you like.. croutons or bacon? what time did you get up this morning? what kind of car do you drive?

well, i read them and i participate in them, but more often than not i find myself thinking how pretty lame the questions are. So i'm going to do the questionnaire thing with questions I'VE come up with. Hopefully it will be more entertaining, although i don't know if i can top the croutons/bacon question. i'm always fascinated to know people's preference.

Well, I got some great responses so I'll include some along with my own. And please leave yours!

The first question is: What's the grossest thing that's ever happened to you?

My answer: The time when i used the dimly lit restroom and sat down in someone else's pee that was ALL OVER the toilet seat. A part of me died inside that day.

My brother said: "Having a spitting contest with my friend. We stood 10 ft apart and hocked loogies at each other until my friend threw up, and then when I saw it I threw up and the dog came and ate our Bologna and cheese sandwich throw ups."

Ohhh SICK. ha ha ha. I'd forgotten about that one.

My sister said: "Ran my hand along the railing in jr. high coming down the stairs and grabbed a huge and seemingly fresh loogie that had been deposited there. I had the dry heaves for a while."

(what is up with my family and loogies?)

Another brother said: "after we had [our son] for a while, you start to have a very difficult time getting up in the middle of the night to take care of the baby stuff. Well, apparently I say and do weird things in my sleep according to [my wife] but this one particular night I was totally tired and she wasn't moving either. I had heard [the baby] fussing so I went into his room and found he had a poopy diaper. Remember, I am totally tired and groggy and don't exactly know what I'm doing. Anywho, I put him down on the bed to change him, take his sleeper off, open up the diaper and in my ultra stupor, I thought I had a baby wipe in my hand. WRONG. Ssooooooo, I wiped baby butt with my bare hand. Yeah, I know, that sucked. Something didn't feel right and I quickly woke up. That totally sucked."

Brooke said: "I'm not sure if this is the grossest, but it's a contender. It got to a point where I had to clean out my tub drain. So, I attacked it and came out with the sickest wad of hair and soap and gunk. Just thinking about it is making me want to puke. I dry heaved a ton, but got the job done."

Now, whoever you are: What's the grossest thing that's ever happened to YOU?


Brooke said...

Dude, my drain is nothin' compared to the vomit story. Or the poop story, for that matter. Ugh.

Anonymous said...

This isn't so much an experience as it is a sighting: I once saw a drunken older gentleman struggle to throw up an 18-inch long transluscent loogie.

This remarkable experience has given me the ability to dry heave at will ever since, and this was 3 years ago.

Amy said...

Oh man...I have been laughing for 5 mins. Those are so funny. Too bad I can't add to the list. Now, if you ever have a question about "medical Phenomenon" I bet I could beat the best of 'em. Thanks for the laugh!

Darby said...

By reading my blog, I would have to say the ocurrence of the toothbrush. Disgusting!

Joel said...

Having to collect a stool sample... from myself.

But for psychological grossness, I once thought this girl in a bunch of advertisements was hot, only to find out later that she was a he, or at least used to be.

Between those two memories, I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight.

)en said...

Ha. Ok, after the vomit, poop, and loogie stories, I am totally on the brink of dry heaving, myself. Thanks guys. I guess i asked for it.

Brooke, your story reminded me of Rachel's way to get everyone to dry heave and that was by telling them to imagine a "hair sandwich." It still works. Good memories...

Sean, EW. "struggling to throw up.." that is such a vivid picture. I think it's funny that you couldn't tell me this story for at least a year or two because it still made you queasy.

Ames, i will definitely have to put up a question on "weirdest surgery" or something. You will so win. And i will lose. Boring.

Darby--toothbrush sharing. Not ok. Maybe that should be its own post as well.

And Joel--Those are great. Isn't it interesting how something that was once part of us can be so repulsive. You'd think you wouldn't mind your own stool as much as someone else's, but no.

Ok, i'll stop talking about Joel's stool. Sorry Joel.

So, shall we move on then? (seriously, almost gagging)