Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Readings by Teresa

Sean and I were on the train the other day and saw this flier stuck on the wall. I loved it so much that I'm going to type it up here, word for word, pretty much exactly how it is on the flier.

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Readings by TERESA

And she says:

DON'T GIVE UP!

GUARANTEED RESULTS IN 24 HOURS

THIS SOUTHERN BORN Spiritualist who brings TO YOU the solutions to the mysteries of the DEEP SOUTH, seeks to help many thousands of people who have been CROSSED, HAVE SPELLS, CAN'T HOLD MONEY, WANT LUCK, WANT THEIR LOVED ONES BAKC, WANT TO STOP NATURE PROBLEMS or WANT TO GET RID OF STRANGE SICKNESS. If you are seeking a surefire woman to do for you the things that are needed or WISH TO GAIN FINANCIAL AID or PEACE, LOVE and PROSPERITY in the home, you need to see this woman of GOD today! SHE TELLS YOU ALL BEFORE YOU UTTER A WORD. SHE can bring the SPIRIT OF RELEASE and CONTROL your every affair and dealing. ARE YOU SUFFERING FROM ILLNESS OR DISEASE that YOU CANNOT CURE? There is a doctor of all doctors. This doctor is GOD. THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE are amazed at the results gotten by TERESA.

WHEN YOUR CASE SEEMS HOPELESS, THERE IS A REMEDY FOR YOU.

Then come to see TERESA as many others do from far and near. YOU'RE BOUND TO BE SATISIFED!!! SATISFACTION DOUBLY GUARANTEED. (One visit is all you need)

TERESA works her power to SATISFY each and everyone. She reveals to you all of the hiden secrets, evil eyes and lurking dangers that may harm you. If you really want something done about the matter. HERE IS THE WOMAN WHO WILL DO IT FOR YOU IN A HURRY. DON'T TELL HER, LET HER TELL YOU. See her in the morning. BE HAPPY AT NIGHT. THIS WOMAN DOES WHAT OTHERS CLAIM TO DO!!!!!!

TEL. (718) 459-3412
Open 7 A.M. til 10 P.M. 7 Days a week

97-19 63rd Drive
Rego Park, NY

Take R or G train to 63rd drive station

Don't let distance keep you away

3 comments:

ash said...

Thanks for including the phone number. I'm definitely not going to let distance keep ME away...

It also reminds me of the sketchiest set of instructions for these really cheap pasta pots we got for our wedding. I kept the instructions and highlighted my favorite parts and they're now in my book of Things That Make Me Happy. Maybe I'll pull it out and send it to you so you can post it.

Jen said...

Yes! Please do. I love things like that. Also, if you ever feel the need to write something just to write, do it and i'll put it up. I still want you to write as a guest.

i love that you have a book of things that make you happy. I have that too, but it's not in the form of book but in a person who i live with. AWWWW! just kidding. i'm a cheesehead.

man, "AWWWW" is really frightening in all caps, for some reason.

Ash said...

It's totally frightening. Just imagine someone yelling "AWWWW!" right in your face. Creep City.

Anyway, I'll dig out the sketchy instructions for ya. And I'll probably take you up on the guest writer position when I no longer have a literary outlet here in a few weeks. Cuh-razy.