)en's Log

Valentine

2012-02-14T08:20:00.000-05:00

makes me happy.

Cereal Thought

2012-02-10T16:01:00.000-05:00

Tip

2012-02-09T12:32:00.000-05:00

One way to keep your soup piping hot would be to leave a spoon in the pan as it's heating up, then scald your hand when you grab it, then scoop your soup in a bowl and continue to use the red-hot spoon (and continue to scald) while you eat your soup, keeping your soup in your bowl hot. That is one way.

(Yes, i have a problem with leaving spoons in the pan.)

Words I Mentally Mispronounce All the Time

2012-02-06T08:10:00.017-05:00

Ok, fine. And sometimes verbally. No matter how many times i learn or remind myself, there are certain words that are in a glitchy part of my brain and I just can't get it. For example:

1. apply. I first read it as apple-y, as in, having characteristics of an apple. Almost always.

2. Invalid, as in, a person who is physically weak or ill. But I always put the emphasis on the 2nd syllable: In-VAL-id. And then it's just so harsh.

3. One time i was in church and i read a quote someone gave me and you know those words that are pronounced a better, fancier way but you might be inclined to pronounce them the way a kid would? For example: demonstrative. demon-STRA-tive, instead of de-MON-strative. Or, irrepairable. You could say ir-rePAIRable, but you would be wrong, dead wrong. Obviously it's irREPairable. Anyway, with that in mind, I said something that is one of the shiniest Idiot Moments of Jen's life. Here's the word:

Irretrievable.

How is this said? IrreTRIEVable. But not wanting to look like a fool, I said the most foolish thing a person could say. I said it the other way, i.e. the non-way. It's not a way. No one says it. But me, that day: IrRETrievable. I don't even know how to type that out. Try saying it. It wasn't easy, but oh, I did it. PFFFFF. I just tried it again and OMG what an idiot. Oh, i die of embarrassment. Even now, reliving it. Why, brain? Why.

4. When I was young, I read "chaos" as "chose" for the longest time. I don't even know how old i was when I realized. Probably Jr. High (or probably way, way later).

5. Ok, this one happened the other day but it was so weird. I read "awed" as "a-wed," which is SO stupid. Why would i have read it that way? In my defense, it was describing a photo taken from the website of a wedding photographer. But still. The sentence was "take a look and prepare to be awed." Ha ha ha. Oh Jen. Makes me laugh.

6. This one is still in question: Orangutan. I am still not sure how to pronounce it. I was taught o-rang-u-tang, but there aint no g on the end. So i sort of make the n sound in the back of my throat, leaving off the actual g sound, but i kind of feel stupid every time i say it, mumbling through & hoping whatever i say passes (and you'd be surprised how often it comes up in daily conversation). But what is it for real? Someone tell me. Is it o-rang-u-tan? Short a? That's fine, I can change. I just want to know.

Alright, so the title of this post is kind of a misnomer. And I feel like there are more but I guess that'll do for now. What about you? C'mon, share. Make me feel not so dumb.

January Hodgepodge

2012-01-26T18:14:00.002-05:00

I wonder if keeping the wooden spoon in the pot the entire time adds flavor to the soup you're making? Who wouldn't want a nice woody (and bits of it) taste in their soup? It's earthy. It's nice.

A week ago or so ago, with a high of in-the-teens, Julian and I walked 1.2 miles to a doughnut shop. If anything will get me out in frigid temps, it's doughnuts. This place, called Dough, is a bit famous apparently, and was recommended to me by a friend. Naturally on the first visit to a donut shop, you need to have a sampling so we got a plain glazed, nutella-filled, lemon poppyseed, blood orange, and dulce de leche. Normally my favorite doughnut in all the world is a plain glazed from Lehi Bakery. This is still true. But since i can't get at that as often as i would want, i settle for Doughnut Plant, which is pretty awesome, though kind of sweet for me. They're fancy though. High quality. Just sweet. This place isn't as sweet, which i appreciate, and they're closer to me still. Using a standard doughnut, the different flavors come in the form of various toppings and glazes. Not many filled doughnuts, which i also like. So that is kind of a negative, but not really. These doughnuts were fun and delish, and i especially enjoyed the blood orange, and it currently ranks 3rd on my short list of doughnut stops.

It was so cold. I wore my sweater boots with socks so thick and tall, i have to wear them over my jeans, my doughnut scarf (appropriate), a beanie hat, and my super chunky thick glittens that i later spilled hot cider on after i scalded myself. Julian got to ride in his stroller blanket which i love, and am jealous of. When we got home we both had frozen fingers and frozen snot faces.

On the walk there, a man stepping out of his brownstone said to me, "Happy New Year! And Human Rights Day! And Valentine's Day!" I laughed and said, "what, it ends there??"

We also saw several tractors and diggers, which we paused to take in and enjoy.

Fun fact about )en: Sometimes i retrieve a hot bowl from the microwave using my fingernails. As i do not have the least bit long nails, i have to bend my fingers so as to use the flat surface. Since they are dead tissue, to my understanding, and not as sensitive to heat and pain as my fingertips, you could say i use them as tiny individual hot pads. You could say, the lazy man's hot pads. The lazy stupid man. Is it effective? Kind of, not really. Hot ceramic bowls are really slippery and I don't know about you but i'm not very dextrous holding things with the broad sides of my nails. But I do it, and it's weird.

My ~~seriously unhealthy obsession~~ love for Sherlock Holmes was rekindled this month as we watched Season 2. If anyone out there hasn't watched this BBC GEM (and there are many gems), watch this NOW. I am SO in love with ~~him~~ it and like so many other BBC multi-episodic shows, Sean and I tend to watch them in quick succession and completely overdose. Season 1 is available online and Season 2 is too, (if you look hard enough). But if you have a conscience, it'll air in a few months on PBS. It's a modern twist on the character and it's just so amazing. So well-done, the stories, the dialogue, THIS GUY:

I love you

I also watched Midnight in Paris which was an utter delight. I felt like I was watching my dreams. As if i didn't already want to move to Paris and be a writer. But it's just a treat, and resurrected up some life in me that had been sucked out of me viciously by a particular Dementor named January.

I also read The Glass Castle which I loved. A true story, a woman tells of her upbringing by crazy parents who can't ever see beyond an impoverished life, and allow it for their children either because they're kooks or drunk or who knows what. But they love her. And they end up homeless in NYC while their successful daughter works off her arse and lives on Park Ave. The story was told so amazingly yet simply and so interestingly. I have so many thoughts about it that it actually makes me want to form a book club to talk about it. I know, i know.

And then, on the coldest day yet, we visited a playground completely abandoned because everyone else is sane. But we all loved it, and i know that we 3 would take a deserted frigid playground over a mild crowded one any day.

I call this one Cold Train, because i'm clever. (<-- that's the whole title)

With the cityscape in the background.

Lastly, some blog posts of friends that are making me happy:

This one, and this.

Happy January!... happy that it's almost over, that is.

Mystery

2012-01-24T14:14:00.000-05:00

I'm not trying to be gross, but does anyone else think that cooked pasta sometimes smells like pee? Is that just a thing with pasta?

Or should I maybe not cook my pasta in the chamberpot anymore.

parenting

2012-01-18T16:36:00.003-05:00

One of Julian's favorite things to say (or shout, over and over again while running around the house) these days is,

"I can't do it!"

Makes me feel good inside, as a parent.

Oh, another one is, "I don't care!"

sean quote

2012-01-15T21:39:00.000-05:00

I think a tiny mouth is an unusual way to have a freak face.

Christmas Break: Highs & Lows

2012-01-11T15:17:00.000-05:00

Highs:

That Christmas actually came. I really love the Christmas season but I feel like it is like being on vacation. It can't go on forever. It needs to end before you start to feel weird and like not in real life. Plus, by the end, everyone needs some saving from themselves before they're bought out of house and home.
Watching Julian open things and go berserk over something because his mom went 50 x more berserk over it. It's weird trying to, say, manually make a kid excited. He might not be naturally excited about something so i entertain myself by picturing the kind of excited I have to be to get him there. So after watching him lose his mind, imagine how insane his adult mother must have been initially, and you will be entertained too.
That the flight to Saint Lou was not the most horrible thing i've ever endured. And that i only got in one measly little fight with TSA. Kudos, Jen. Alright, fine, here's the story.

Something you may or may not know about me is that I hate airlines and airports and all people/things associated with them. Usually what happens is upon entering the doors of an airport, I find that i exit the real world and slip into the blissful calm of my Zen Place. Unfortunately, I can never fully be there because my physical self still lives in another place and there are things that i have to do, so every so often my mind is yanked back to the unpleasant and reeking stench of airport hell that one must endure from time to time to time. I deal with my business and then get back to Zen as fast as humanly possibly. Normally, in case you were wondering, a typical Jen at the airport means I follow Sean around, a bit like Rainman but without the interesting things to say. I shut down, I don't acknowledge anyone around me. I mechanically do what needs to be done, i.e. produce my ID, manhandle the child, pull suitcases, etc, but I don't engage with hardly anyone, Sean included. Julian mostly included. He one time sat in his stroller throwing pears all around himself unbeknownst to myself, who was standing behind him, hands on stroller, a far off gaze on my face. I'm not exaggerating in the slightest, just FYI. This is how it is. Sean will attest.

Anyway, but the problem is, see, are those moments where i'm yanked back. We were in security doing our thing, business as usual. I was calm, despite the ever-present hatred that turns my heart black when i'm there. But no one likes to be there. And everyone hates the TSA, as a general rule, right? This isn't news.

One more thing: You could say I have a sliiight, teensy weensy thing with authority. Some might call it a "problem," but i'll just say thing. I am a rule-abider but if I don't respect you, and you are in the wrong, my tongue makes no discernment as to who you are, and it will defend my wronged self. Maybe particularly if you are someone of authority who i don't respect, because, how dare you?

So back to the story. I take off Julian's shoes, they inform me that's unnecessary. I say "oh, thanks" (<-- look, words!) and i'm holding him, getting ready for my turn to walk through the detector. Deciding he weighs 500 pounds, i put him down to walk him through. At this moment I hear a voice to my left, belonging to a TSA worker on the other side of the conveyor belt, say "you can carry your child! You can carry him!" I may have glanced over but i seriously doubt it, for I never got any shot of her face until later and even then, not really, and deciding i'm free to make my decision about this, and getting ready to move, we go on ahead through the thing.

On the other side i am busy with putting the Julian in the stroller and grabbing our bins full of clothes and bags when I hear this same sassed-mouth TSA lady say to the TSA man behind me, "I did tell her she could carry him, and she gave me a dirty look!" These words registered meaningfully in my brain and, knowing i gave no such look, at least intentionally [not that i wouldn't], I sprang into Defend Wronged Self mode, and I said to the man, "I did not give a dirty look. Look, you're doing your thing, I'm doing mine." I'm pretty calm, but she insists I gave some kind of offense. I told the man, "I didn't want to carry him! this kid weighs a hundred pounds!" Meanwhile I am still trying to put myself together--shoes, jacket, etc. Then i hear the girl say, "well you/she [can't remember] could have at least acknowledged me!" like a gravely offended teenager. Strike three said my brain and i replied loudly, and muy sarcastically, "Oh, ok--THANK YOU! THANK YOU SO MUCH for mentioning that to me. I appreciate it!" And we got our stuff and went away.

Now, at our terminal i felt pretty silly for even engaging. She could have thought i was giving her a dirty look, what do i care? a) it's not a big deal. who is she to me, and b) she's the TSA, why wouldn't i give her a dirty look? and c) there's a pretty good chance I already had a dirty look on my face the moment I crossed the airport threshold. Can you blame me? Can you.

Anyway, that was that. I was the crazy lady. Sean told me he supported me and my feelings, but was pretty sure we were going to be detained. I apologized for my behavior. It is one of several instances where Jen will kind of unleash and say exactly what she wants. I am what i am. (And she is what she is)

Sooo other things that happened.... I don't know, some more stuff. I can't really remember, it was weeks and weeks ago. So i'll just end there, i guess. Happy new'ish year.

Signed,

)en

Pop Quiz: parking meters

2012-01-09T08:05:00.002-05:00

Is it a pop quiz if they're now somewhat predictable and also there's no right or wrong answer?

I'm just curious about other people in the world. I look at me. I see me and the things i do and i wonder, well what do others do? What does that guy do? What do my friends do? And then after I know I will categorize us all with labels and ratings.   You might already know that people like me get an automatic In to the "awesome" category. But no pressure. Just be honest.

Anyway, i forgot my question. Oh, parking meters. (Good thing I had already typed the title of this post) I read this one in a weird Do You Know Your Spouse questionnaire that had mostly really stupid questions but i thought this one was kind of interesting.

You pull into a metered parking space. There are 8 minutes remaining on the meter. You're planning a 10-minute errand. What do you do?
    a. put in a coin to be safe
    b. put in no money and try to rush through the errand
    c. put in no money and not worry about it.

Want to know what i do?

d. put in 3 quarters because you just NEVER KNOW what might happen. Am i an overly cautious person? Maybe. Normally i wouldn't say so but that absolutely is what i would do. What if i decide to have some lunch after and it would be a pain to come back to the car? What if Julian falls and hurts himself or we find a compelling toy or book store and need to peruse a bit? What if it took me ten hundred minutes to find a @#$% parking space and i'm not about to give it up just for a measly 10-minute errand? (<-- a common thing. I will totally make up things to do or purposely stay longer because i had to work so hard for a spot)   Maybe I'm an over-planner, I don't know. But it's you, not me, who has to pay that parking ticket. So there.

But what about you?

Pop Quiz: Another Salon

2012-01-05T13:03:00.000-05:00

Pop Quiz:

Speaking of salons, what kind of person are you? Are you the type to get your hair washed, cut, and blow dried and then go home and take a bath or shower with shower cap so as to even out your cleanliness because there's no way in he-- you're going to shower after that, wasting a perfectly good hairwash because you just hate washing your hair that much, and so what if you have a few bits of hair stuck to your neck? Or do you go home and shower/wash your hair as planned, completely nullifying that free wash you got at the salon?

In case you are wondering: Yes. Me, I am that type.

Pop Quiz

2012-01-03T09:59:00.000-05:00

Pop Quiz: At the salon, are you the type to chit chat with the hairdresser or remain silent through the duration of the haircut?

Me: anyone near me in the salon will think I am a mute and look around for my interpreter because except for a "yeah, like that," "looks good" "yeah" or an "I know, fo' real," I am not a chatty cathy. Getting my hair cut is down time for me. I'd rather not talk. I don't know you. I don't ever need to fill the silence. I will let there be silence until the cows come home, and all awkwardness ensues. I'm not unkind, and I will gladly answer your questions, but if there is a lull, I happily let it be. I enjoy getting my hair manhandled and am not super picky about the cut so it's just some good R&R for me.

You?

Merry Christmas 2011

2011-12-25T12:51:00.000-05:00

Christmas Wrap-up

2011-12-23T08:20:00.011-05:00

(Not to be confused with the "Christmas Recap" post)

Well, the shopping is done. The tree is almost dead. The days until Christmas are few. Am I ready for Christmas? Yes. Here are some pictures of what we've been doing.

First, Sean made a turkey pot pie with Thanksgiving leftovers.

Then, I made a few [million] dozen treats throughout the month. I needed a few cookies for something and threw them onto a pan. Then i stepped back and realized what a freakshow I am.

Seriously, i think there's some mental illness going on there. I showed it to Sean hoping he'd laugh but i think he was mostly worried. But tried to laugh it off. But failed.

p.s. those were creme de menthe cookies made out of a package of Andes Mints bits. I used the recipe on the back and they were pretty tasty. This month alone, I have consumed approximately 1000% of the average mint-intake (should just be "mintake") over the lifespan of an average human.

We also experienced a few ominous moments, such as this:

I spilled milk on the "milk" line on my grocery list?? What does it MEAN??? Also, great list, Jen. (pretty sure it was only those 3 items)

Went on several walks in very temperate December weather. Gawked (does anyone else think there should be an L in there?) at Julian's cuteness/hipsterness.

Paused to stop and smell the December flowers.

Paused at the stuffed animal graveyard in the yard of a brownstone nearby and asked my sister if I should get her daughter this doll baby for Christmas.

Made gift tags with friends. Can you see which parts were Sean and which were me?

Went to see Santa again. I love this Santa. And so does Julian, you can see it in his face. Check out that adoration:

(Yes, we put him in the same pants as last year. And perhaps the same socks?)

Drove to the Dyker Heights Lights. Do I even have words to describe this? I don't know. We'll find out. There is this neighborhood called Dyker Heights in bklyn, and within it are a few blocks with these mini-mansions that are just--WOW. Think Big Fat Greek Wedding. Over-the-top columns, (instead of subtle, tasteful columns) gargoyles, statues. Maybe a fountain. Huge sweeping staircases up to the lavish front door. It's just the gaudiest thing you've ever seen. Now, pack on 50,000,000 lights and decorations, like blowup statues and giant nutcracker soldiers (i'm talking, 25 feet high, people. And motorized) and carousels and entire choirs (motorized, and scary), every Santa variant you can imagine, every nativity, PER house (all get it done professionally. They put signs on the yards) and you have yourself a SHOW. I wish I could capture everything. Oh how I wish. But, like sunsets and unicorns, I think it's just something you have to see in person to really believe, and get the full effect. It's probably better that way. This is the 2nd year we've gone and it did not disappoint.

I only snapped a couple pictures of my favorite house. I spotted it last year and frantically clawed at my car window, begging to go take a bite. I peeled my eyes for it this year and found it. I got out to get a picture.

A gingerbread house!! There's candy on the house! Frosted lights! Gingerbread men! Sparkly gumdrops that lined the front entrance!! *pant, pant pant*   It's too much. It's just too much.

Click here for a huge Santa and even bigger toy soldiers. I wish there was a human there for scale. That Santa is probably 15 feet high.    In fact, click here to see the google page of "Dyker Heights lights" images. We drove home with bugged-out eyes, feeling like we'd overdosed on something.

Lastly, it's been fun and interesting for me to have a little 2-year-old Julian around for Christmastime this year. I suddenly felt this weird need to decorate everything and do Christmas crafts. I had a bit of an identity crisis because crafts have never been a part of my genetic make-up. Not to say i couldn't adopt the practice (check out those gift tags, for example). But it just came out of nowhere and totally caught me offguard. We've done a few things, like make a huuuuge fatty paper chain out of giant strips of Christmas wrapping paper, we made a Christmas tree pen thanks to supplies sent by my sister, and Julian made a nativity scene placing stickers all by his very own self.    Here it is:

Apparently the camel has something against the baby Jesus. Fortunately Joseph is there to soften the fall. Mary has fled the scene.

(ok, i placed the star)

Meeeeerry Christmas, from ours to yours.

LOL

2011-12-21T08:53:00.002-05:00

This really deserves its own post. Tribute, more like.

LOL has been around for a long time now. I remember it my freshman year of college. This was in 1998. Internet was exciting and still new, IM'ing was the new craze. I remember using lol but after a while I think i decided to loathe it and switched over to the more literal "hahaha" or one of its variants ("Ha," sometimes "haha," for example.)

For a really long time, I pretty much hated it, but didn't really see too much of it and so it was largely out of my mind. Then i became friends with someone who would mock people and she had this really awesome mocking voice that was soft and high and would use "lol" in a mocking statement and i really started to love it. Then, after joining Facebook and slowly figuring out how I would use it, I started to realize there were vastly different ways one could structure a status update. The days and weeks would pass and I would become "friends" with more and more people and I noticed the different styles they had. Some styles I thought were ok. Others, i looooathed. At first. But when I introduced my initial feelings to a friend regarding a particular way to status-update, she and I took it and ran with the jokes. I told my sister who joined in on the jokes, and now one of my favorite pastimes is to use LOL the way these people seem to. I only hold it against them a little bit, and am aware that they are good people with good intentions but have a horrible habit: the overuse/inappropriate use of LOL. But if i'm laughing at them, then i love it. I really really love it. Let's talk about why.

1. first, there's all caps vs lower case. lol vs. LOL. Anyone who's used a computer will [hopefully] understand that using all-caps = shouting. People who use all caps all the time must have some sort of social disability. I'm sorry, it's how I feel, and i know it's how you feel too, admit it. p.s. I just asked Sean if that previous statement was harsh and he said, "Ha. Well, as i recall, when we first began IM'ing, [which was how we began to court] I may have used all caps."

Me: What?!? You did? And i kept talking to you??

Sean: I quickly stopped.

Me: Why? How?

Sean: You asked me to. You told me it was the equivalent of shouting.

Oh man. Well, I'm glad that is the basis for our relationship, my teaching him that important lesson. I commend myself. And really, way to look beyond people's faults and try to see the person who they are deep inside. Because if anything is a fault, TYPING IN ALL CAPS IS A BIG ONE, AM I RIGHT? THIS IS HURTING ME RIGHT NOW BUT I CONTINUE IN ORDER TO PROVE A SERIOUS POINT, THAT POINT BEING THAT I AM GREAT.

Anyway, so obviously if you're going to use LOL, it is better to do it in all-caps.

2) And if you're going to do it in all-caps, you might as well as tack on a few exclamation points. This works better if you've put at least 3 exclamation points on every phrase in your status update.

3) And why put in one LOL when you can put in two or three? The more you have, and the more inappropriate they are, the better. Write a status update without the LOLs. Say it outloud. Ask yourself, would I laugh after (or before/during) this statement? If the answer is no, then put them in!

I really love it when the status update (or text--really, it applies to both) is not in the SLIGHTEST meant to be one of enthusiasm or excitement or happiness. An example would be "ok, see you soon! lol"   I have gotten this exact text before. What does it mean?? Is it a joke? Will I NOT see them soon? Will i see them soon and they're going to do something to me? Is it meant to be menacing? Menacing laughter??   And suddenly I'm scared. But I love it still.

4) Speaking of "before," I am particularly fond of the bookend LOLs. Let's start the status update off right with immediate preemptive laughter. And of course, by the end you're laughing yourself into hysterics, so you've got to seal it up with a final LOL.

So let's take these tips for the perfect LOL status-update and construct one of our own. This is completely fictional but you can bet i could go copy/paste one 50 times better on Facebook at this very moment. But i won't.

Example sentence:

Soooo excited for my friend to visit!!! LOL!!! It's going to be So Much FUN!!! CanNOT wait!!! LOL

Let us examine:   a) the multiple o's in soooo. Now, i've used soooo before. It's a great way to express the way you're actually saying something. And, the more o's you add, the more you mean it. b) the not one but two LOLs (I cut the person a little slack and left off the LOL at the beginning. And by "cut them slack" i mean "held them back in all their glory") c) multiple words in all-caps. I'm a fan. You know I am. and d) as an added bonus-- the randomly Capitalized words.

All of these combined create the status update that [now] pleases me the most. If you want me to love you more and more, do these things, together or separate. I love them all.

Now, i wander back and forth between genuine love and sarcastic love, but in the end, it's all real. Normally, the Random capitalization is an abomination, but when combined with LOL and multiple exclamation and all of these other elements, it is acceptable. More than, welcomed.

So in emails or texts i can't quite bring myself to incorporate all of these elements, but instead just tack on an LOL or sometimes an lol to whatever i'm saying. Whatever it is. It really spices up my message and leaves the recipient and myself laughing, i mean lol'ing.

Thanks for reading. You guys are great, i mean it. lol!!

p.s. if anyone has any LOL sentence examples of their own, please share.

Brain of Wonder

2011-12-13T15:13:00.001-05:00

I'm starting to believe that we get headaches because we're not letting our brains do the things they want to do, and too much of something that's lame. Yeah, I should be a scientist. We think we are doing things that require thought, and we may be, or things that are stimulating, but it all just ends up being an aggravation to our brains because we forget to do the things that really bring them alive and make them happy, so they just get frustrated or blow a fuse because they're not being tempered by the good stuff.

I have had a nice day so far, but i've been headache-y off and on for a few days. This happens sometimes but it isn't a constant thing. I sat down here at the computer to do some shopping, browse some sites, do some emailing and whatnot and that, combined with the contacts in my eyeballs, the headache grew worse and i told myself I would need to leave soon and give them a rest or something. And then I started to type in my journal to give an update of my life, and then i started thinking about things and pondering and theorizing and the creative juices flowed and my fingers flew. And i typed and i typed for several minutes, staring at a computer screen, straining my neck and my eyeballs as i was before, physical circumstances unchanged, but when I was finished, the strangest thing happened. I realized my headache was gone. And i am thinking it is because i started thinking about important things. I began to question important things, and evaluate my thoughts and feelings, and really shake up the parts of my brain that slip into dormancy because they're overrun by stupid things like stress and general vague notions of negativity or fears or whatever that we allow to creep into our minds every day. My brain kick-started and the power of doing something that made me happy, something creative, calmed the frazzled and fizzled-out parts of my brain allowing it to really flourish, and the headache subsided. It's a miracle! My brain cured itself. I believe it to be true. Maybe headaches really are a mind over matter. (Or, mind over mind-matter?)

I encourage you to try this as a mental exercise the next time you have a headache. Don't just do something that's supposed to be good for headaches. Do something you love. Be your own headache specialist. See what happens.

Letters

2011-12-08T09:10:00.000-05:00

Dear East Coast,

Your temperatures may be extreme. Your humidity may get the best of all of us, but there is one thing and it is that your seasons are as they should be. You are predictable, (for the most part, snushstorm in October) and I thank you for that. I also thank you for these wacky 60-degree days in December.

Love and Sunshine,
Jen

Dear Julian,

The other day in the swings, after shouting out "WHEEE!" repeatedly and vigorously, when you then blurted out to the heavens, "JINGLE BELLS!" at the top of your lungs, it made the Christmas spirit around us swell a hundred fold.

smooches,
Mom

Dear Potential Cold in my Lungs,

Give it up. You'll never win. I will fight you 'til the end. YOU SHALL NOT PASS.

Heart,
Jen

Dear Task List,

I'm not afraid of you. You're not the boss of me.

-JM

Dear Christmas Cards,

Some people hate you. I love you. You make me feel Christmasy.

Hugs,
Jen

Dear Christmas Tree,

I love you. I love you so much. You're the prettiest tree i've ever seen. I love you, pine cone lights. I love you, ornaments. *kissy noises* *ow*

Love,
Jenmo

(Wow, has anyone noticed how much asterisks look like snowflakes?? God bless us, everyone!)

Fun With Autocorrect Part II

2011-12-05T13:35:00.001-05:00

I just love these. They make my life happy.

So, i will paste in the sentence with the mistake word underlined and the intended word in parentheses and bolded. I have yet to figure out a good system. Anyway, either the word wasn't recognized as real or my fatty fingers couldn't hit the right letters and it turned the typo into something else. But either way brings guaranteed fun.

1. Fangs, you should have taken the salad (dang)

2. Sean: On Atlantis and 3rd ave (Atlantic ave)
Jen, trying to make fun: Ignore! How'd you get there?? (oh no)

3. Coming home, danger! (dang) [i say dang a lot, apparently. why doesn't my phone recognize it by now?]

4. Sean: We went for gas anyway! Rebels!
Jen: haha, polio! (Ooooo)

5. Just outside the dreading room (dressing) [dreading room-- does not sound like a fun room to be in]

6. Did ADHD box arrive yet? (Ash's)

and when i found out it had:

7. Gerbil! (yeehoo!) [what, c'mon. You don't know "yeehoo"? I love the idea of shouting that out as a happy exclamation. Gerbil! hahaa!.]

8. WARNING-- this last one is PG-13 and crass but dang (or "danger") if i didn't almost wet my pants. I was texting a new friend about going on a Target run with her.

I think 9:30 is good. By the time we get there, shop, play with tits... (toys)

Oh man, i'm sorry about that one! But it was just too good. It's just so ridiculous. And it's not my fault the o and y are right next to the i and t. Fangs.

Thanksgiving Recap

2011-11-30T18:12:00.000-05:00

This Thanksgiving was marvelous. Sean's brother Rob came down to visit and dine with us and as I told him, we love when he visits because he's "lived in Africa, so we don't worry!" Ha ha. He is so easy. Nothing about our weird apartment fazes him and he is happy with anything. So nice. Something I think about often is how adaptable humans are, and though Sean and I grew up with in larger domains with more amenities and luxuries and conveniences than we now enjoy, we adjusted, and though it would be nice to have those things, we are living proof that life can be lived without them, and still be tolerable, even awesome. It's a reminder that I love, and has come to be a quality I appreciate in others.

Having one person come visit for t-giving is great. a) that's basically all we have room to house, and b) it's just enough to make a Thanksgiving dinner but not too much to stress about it. So we got some stuffed turkey breasts at Trader Joe's and other boxed items (it's gourmet if it's at TJ's) and threw it all together Thurs morn. It was nice. I didn't hate it. (I'm pretty anti-cooking these days) Sean crock-potted those turkeys and we made 2 pies, some potatoes, some carrots and a brussel sprouts dish, and whatever else. To be honest, i can take or leave Thanksgiving dinner. I don't need to have a big feast. I am just as happy bagging it and eating out or playing in the city. But it was nice to have some additional family. Sean and i have sufficiently scared away visitors (since most who've visited are strangers who want a couch) so it was nice to have one we actually wanted.

Highlights of the vacation:

Playing Globe.
Dominating at Globe.
Being with people who'd want to play Globe with me in the first place.
Peer pressuring Rob to put Chess on his phone so we can play.
Giving Rob the first Hunger Games book and watching him read himself sick waaay late into the night.
Having someone else for Julian to look at/play with and who will look at/play with him. What a treat for everyone.
Running into the city on Black Friday to see Santa and shop a little. Glorious day. The Holiday Market was up, the playground was delightful, the sun warm, the doughnuts gooey. In essence, the perfect Black Friday.
Saw Twilight. Sean and I couldn't stop talking about it. Pretty outstanding. More on that later.
bought a candle that is like a Christmas tree in a box. (the candle came in a box) If you must get a fake tree, the least you could do is buy this candle to give the illusion your Christmas is real. It's sooo delicious. Even the box smells. I might even have kept it. Next to me on the desk here. And sniff it randomly throughout the day. I might.
The expansion of Julian's cell. Another thing about living in small spaces is it makes you very conscious of the items you bring into it. It all adds up pretty fast. And pretty soon you'll be holding your baby in one hand and an item in the other, weighing them against each other. So in this case, Julian won and we got some IKEA crap and gave him a good 20 square feet of additional bedroom. He has a new rug, a bookshelf, toy shelf, nightlight, two lamps. He even has a big kid bed but it's not been installed because we're putting that one off as long as we can. It's leaning against the wall in the hall outside the apartment and when he gets in his stroller he points at it lovingly and says, "Nee-in's bed!" and i say happily, "that's right! Julian's bed!" and there's no further discussion. Side note: How cute is it how he says his name. Nee-in. I did not foresee that. Similarly, he often calls Sean "Non." Equally cute.
Having a fabulous Italian dinner at home consisting of Il Porto pizza (rivals Grimaldi's. Seriously. And they deliver to my door--important), and some sausage and cheese and other antipasti Rob picked up at Mario Batalli's Eataly. (he spent some time in the south of Italy) Topped with Orangina. We all declared this was going to be our Thanksgiving feast for next year.
Breakfasting at Tom's Diner for some pancakes and eggs. I got the cinnamon pancakes stuffed with banana.

In conclusion, a fine weekend indeed. I know this one is kind of boring but i thought people might want to read more about the ins and outs of Jen's life instead of just witticisms (aka, this is what i do when i don't have any).

Also, happy golden birthday to my sister Ash. We're a year and a half apart & i must say, these past 30 years have been some of the best of my life.

Debate

2011-11-28T08:43:00.000-05:00

I was thinking the other day, as i am inclined to do, and a heated debate began in my head. I think I know which one wins but i wanted to ask what you thought. Help me out, will you?

So: which is worse?

Doctors and Dr. offices or airports & airport employees?

GO!

Horn o' Plenty o' Pictures

2011-11-23T21:45:00.001-05:00

Just wanted to give you something to look at while you stuff your face.

The other day Sean took Julian to the museum or something and sent me a picture of this:

and i immediately responded, "why is that not in my hand??"

because why is it not in my hand.

A couple of months ago we visited Storm King, this crazypants giant outdoor modern sculpture park. It was pretty wild, i'll tell you. We took a tram ride around the place and got a tour. So many cool things. I was extremely visually stimulated. I highly recommend this. It's about 40 minutes outside of the city.

Here's a pic.

And this is the view from the visitors building.

I've been taking pictures of fun things here and there, mostly the beautiful leaves, per tradition. And per tradition, i always forget that the physical manifestation of our autumnal equinox comes in November instead of October. Actually my brain did remember. I even told someone who was ready to experience their first eastcoast fall and was feeling nervous, "no! don't give up hope! It comes in November!" But my heart wasn't sure if it believed me. It's soooo pretty here.

What's Julian looking at?

Why's he so happy?

Ah, because he is looking up at this gorgeousness. (i hate writing captions)

Here he is, my protege.

I have high hopes for Eyotes.

There is this amazing tree by our house. I call it the rainbow tree. It's too bad that fall leaves never show up as vividly on camera as they do in real life. I guess that's Mother Nature's way of saying, "get off the electronics and go outside, you sloth." (mother nature's mean)

I just love the fun colors with the Bklyn brownstones. Spotted this jewel also near my house:

and this

3 cheers for Thanksgiving lights. Why not?

Happy Thanksgiving! Also, per tradition...

Creepcakes

2011-11-17T13:57:00.000-05:00

I wrote this in an email to Sean yesterday and discovered a new pet name.

Julian and I ate crepes this morning and they were deliiiish. Except i was super lazy about making them and didn't want to make a hundred so i made about 5 very THICK crepes. I should probably call them crepecakes. That looks like creepcakes. And maybe that's your new nickname. Term of endearment?

He replied with the salutation "Dear Creepcakes" and then in another email later, just "Creepy,"

awwwwww.

More thoughts on babies

2011-11-16T08:16:00.000-05:00

Sometimes when I'm out and walking around i start thinking about things and before I know it, I'm heavily and deeply in thought, and it's a wonder that i don't completely lose track of myself and things around me. I have approximately 50 friends who've had babies recently so i was thinking about babies and all of the cliches you hear, like "oh they grow up so fast," "they change everyday."   And how it's difficult for people to let go of their baby, to accept that they're not a baby anymore, their baby is growing up, blah blah blah.

Well, first of all, I completely feel that way, so I am a cliche. Second of all, why is there that attachment to their babyhood?   I wondered. I thought about it some more and thought, maybe it's because you work so friggin hard at something that displays so few results over such a long period of time, results so few and far between that you can't possibly comprehend that there is actually something happening, that you are doing things that make a difference, until way way after the fact, so that when you are able to look back and realize they're not even a baby anymore and you are in shock about it because you JUST got to a point where you were able to accept that you might have learned something through all the tears and sweat and curse words and the giving and the giving and the giving. All of that ridiculously hard work. And before you know it, without your consent or acknowledgment, they are a part of you and you're like, what the hey? when did THAT happen? It actually sealed it to you, sewn into your being, and forever and ever more, there will be a spot in your guts the exact size and measurements of your baby, and it will always be that size. It's the trauma of it. The trauma of your first baby made it a part of you. You always think of trauma being negative, but babies aren't all bad. But it's so traumatic. And is that what seals them?

And then i thought, i wonder if there are similar things in life. Other traumas. Like, something that is a part of someone for a long time that they work so hard at, then maybe one day it's different, or gone, or changed. Like someone who has cancer and it has become a part of them, physically, and then one day they're finally free of it. I wonder what that's like for them. Obviously they must be happy, but is it weird? Do they feel a weird sick void? Is it weird to deal with? And then I thought, did i just compare my baby to a cancer?

Well, anyway. Sometimes I hold Julian in my arms like a long gangly baby and I talk to him like he's 3 months old and say, "Are you my baby??" and he responds, "baby go??"   because i've said to him too many times, "where did my baby go??"   And then my heart whimpers pathetically and i give him a zerbert in his belly, where i bury my face and my woes.

But it felt so real!

2011-11-14T08:29:00.001-05:00

This one time, I was a college-age gal, and I was in my room at home, rifling through my dirty clothes looking for specific items. I had an intramural basketball game and I needed my lucky t-shirt that had a recycling logo on the back, and of course my trusty gray sweat shorts who I think I adopted/thieved from my brother in Jr. High and had worn since (may they now rest in peace).

In my room I was violently flinging clothes around until I found them, with food encrusted on them and put them on, because I was going to be the star! My team needed me! And this shirt worked best with the vest jerseys they handed out at each game.

My two sisters and my mother were all going with me, to watch, and we left my dad and brother Jon home. We pulled out of the garage and paused in the middle of the driveway and got out, for some reason.

I felt compelled to look up into the sky and I saw that it had turned this deep menacing swirling purple, like an angry heavy purple cloud. It was a color that the sky should never be. And there it was. I had no idea what my sisters or mother were doing. They hadn't noticed the sky but i stood transfixed. Suddenly, in the skies above the house I saw movement, a flickering of a shape, and I blinked hard. A camouflage form emerged, like it was made of purple smoke, and I realized it was an enormous, raging, and possibly confused dragon. And it was hungry. I knew that because I'd seen it with my eyes, i was the only one in danger and several times it dived at me, jaws open wide. I threw myself under the car and escaped, but only just. This happened 2 or 3 times. Finally my family was aware of my battle with the dragon and their connaisance immediately put them in danger of the dragon as well. I kept a clear head and yelled at my sisters to jump in the car, which they did, in the front seat. My mother and i were on either side of the car. I on the left, and she on the right. As the dragon's head curved around the car in search of me, I slithered around to the back and, again, threw myself underneath the car. I rolled to the side where my mother was hiding and jumped in. My mom stood, frozen, and I yelled at her to jump in too, which she did, narrowly escaping.

The dragon was distracted by something in the garage and walked in, at which point i lunged forward and pressed the button to close the garage door. It closed, and though ravenous, the dragon was fortunately a bit feeble-minded, for it didn't manage to work out how to escape while the garage door slowly made its way to the ground.

We backed out of the driveway and made our way down the road, still aimed on going to my all-important intramural basketball game. I used a cell phone to call my dad who was obliviously inside the house.

"Dad, whatever you do! DO NOT, under ANY circumstances, go out in the garage. Some insane purple dragon from freakin' Lord of the Rings is trapped in there! And he's probably going to try to get out," I exclaimed, afraid, yet controlled.

"He sure sounds like it," was my dad's reply.

I said, "You and Jon need to get out of there. Go somewhere. Bring your phone, but get out of the house! I'm going to call the police."

And then my eyes flew open, my heart beating, my chest heaving, and I laughed in the dark at how completely I had believed this dream to be real life (yet impressed by my ability to take charge under pressure).

GO DREAMS.

11:11

2011-11-11T11:11:00.001-05:00

Since the early days of our acquaintance, Sean has reminded me of a story of an old college roommate/friend(?) from his freshman days. This guy, let's call him Kenneth, was in a relationship with a girl, let's call Kandis. And this Kenneth made the fatal mistake of inviting his friends into his serious freshman year relationship by divulging a sacred tradition he and Kandis started and it was this: Wherever they were in the day, at 11:11, AM or PM, they would stop and think of the other.

Obviously this is not going to be quietly accepted by your male friends in particular, and Sean said whenever they were together (probably when Kenneth wasn't there) they would say "Shhh! It's 11:11. Think of Kenneth and Kandis." He doesn't know whatever became of them, but is sure they didn't end up together. But for 8 years now, Sean and I have continued this tradition: "Stop! It's 11:11. Think of Kenneth and Kandis." And it just makes me laugh, and it also makes me wonder what idiotic things my friends of yore remember me by. Sigh.